4 months on……

Well I cannot believe, it’s been just over 4 months since I last posted. So much has happened since then. We went to our Life Appreciation Day, what a fantastic day that was. We met lots of people who had been involved with our son, first we met his therapist who talked about the work that she had been doing with him. Next his FC talked about him, she stayed through out the meeting so that she was able to add things about him, then a support worker came who had done a lot of the contact visits between our son and his birth parents, this was the one time that I cried during the day when he was telling us about R’s last contact with his birth mother and how rubbish it had been. We them met a SW who had previously been involved with him. Next was his teacher from his first school, she talked with great affection for our son and got quiete emotional on time’s, she said that had it been a few years previously that she would have aplied to be assessed to have our son, and I really felt that she ment it. After that we travelled with our son’s SW to his new school which was about an hour away as he had recently moved with his FC’s to a new town and met his present teacher and Headmaster. It was good to do the Life Appreciation Day as we felt that we learnt a lot about our son and his personality came across strong as did some of the difficulties that just listening to these people talk we knew we were going to face. It was also strange thinking that they were all talking about our son-to-be and knew him, yet we still had not met him.
 
On the 8th December 2009 we had our next hurdle, Matching Panel. We were all set to go when we got a phone call from our SW the afternoon before to say that R’s SW had just read a report from a physio assesment that had been done a few weeks prior and the  were saying that they were not sure whether he was suffering from Dyspraxia, R’s SW was panicing about the report, our SW said that she thought that this would not phase us or make any difference to us at all, which we confirmed. We also felt having been to the Life Appreciation Day that one of the things that had come across was that, R can be extremley uncoperative when he is faced with something new, and that this could have been the case here.
 
On the day of panel we were up early ready for our 4 hour drive to the placing LA. We arrived in time, struggled to find anywhere to park, parked just anywhere and hoped for the best and just made it on time. We were met at the door by the FF who took us to a nice little room were our SW and R’s SW were already waiting. We were not there long when the chairman of the panel came and introduced himself, then said that unusually that they needed to speak to the SW’s first before we went in. Oh dear, this set alarm bells ringing, was it about this report from the physio’s, we sat on tenderhooks waiting. Before taking our SW’s away he gave us a piece of paper with all of one question on it, and had said that we would be asked before we left the the panel for them to make their disicion, we would be asked if we wanted to go back in, or would we prefer him to come out and give us their disicion. We decided to ask him to come out and give us their amswer just in case it was not good.
 
Not long afterwards the chair came and fetched us, we are asked very few questions, why one, when all through our PAR it said 2-3 children. Our support network, what about his accent at school,a nd that was it. Compared to our approvel panel it was a walk in the park. There were about 10 on the panel altogether, the chair asked whether we wanted to go back in or not, the SW team manager who was sitting next to the chair started nodding his head wildley whilst looking very opened eyed at me, and it was at that moment I knew that they were going to say yes, so before my husband could say anything I said we will come back in. Think DH was a bit shocked, we and the SW went back to the room to wait, and less than 5 minutes later we were all called back in and given our great big YES!!!!!!!
 
To say that we were over the moon was an understatement, I cried at that moment. They talked a bit, but I really could not take any of it in, we were going to mum and dad to a gorgous 6 year old boy.
 
We went for lunch with our SW, then back to the Town Hall for our planning meeting, that was of course after having texted everyone and speaking to my mum on the phone. The planning meeting was to talk about intro’s and make a plan. We knew that they would not start till after christmas, and were really pleased when it was decided that they would start on the 4th January, the first Monday after New Year. We would be going to stay in at the town were R lived with his FC’s for a week, we would have a mid-way review on the following Monday, then all things being well we would go home after review, have following day off, then R would come with his FC’s to our house visit and have lunch with them, then stay in a hotel with them for a few nights, visiting us during the day, by Friday would be staying with us. On the Sunday FC’s would come to our home say their good-byes and leave. So official placement day all going to plan was set for 17th January 2010.
 
After that we started our 4 hour journey home, with thoughts of our last Christmas as a couple. Next year we will be a family. We finished R’ room, I finished work on the 30th December, with a lovely send off after working Christmas so that if I don’t take the full year off i can at least have next Christmas off.
 
Less than 4 weeks until we met our son……
 
To be continued