Up to the present

Well we are 13 weeks in now, 15 since our 1st meeting and what can I say, it seems hard to believe that we have only known our son such a short time, it really does seem like he has been here for ages.
He has settled into school well, he did his 1st week of 1/2 days and every day when we picked him up he wanted to know why he could not stay all day. From week 2 at school he did all day and has not looked back, it ahs not all been plane sailing and up to now we have been asked 3 times to stay behind to talk to his teacher, mainly because he has been constantly calling out, looking for reasurance more than anything and together we have worked this out, mainly by saying that I would ask the teacher every day if he had behaved himself and this seemed to work. We had a period where he was pushing and hitting the other children and again we delt with it in the same way by talking to him and talking to the teacher. The other time we were asked to talk to the teacher, hubby was picking him up so I was pleased to have missed that one.
Every evening on picking up Munch from school we will ask him what he has been doing and for the first few weeks his standaed answer was, to much work, not enough play!! We recentley had his school report which was very good. He was constantley telling us at home that he had no friends, that nobody liked him, then when we got his report it said how popular he was, and how he had made friends well with the other children.
We have also had one pep up till know and as Munch’s SW said, they only need to be done every 12 months and hopefully our Adoption Order will have been granted by then and he will no longer be a looked after child.
Munch goes to Beavers every Tuesday night and really enjoy’s this.
Family, he has met most family members now and everybody has really taken to him which is good. He loves his big cousin to death and is constantly talking about her. We took him ti hubby’s mum’s 1st, we always make sure that we take things for him to do there as she is very elderly, to be fair he is always polite and well behaved when we go there.
My mum was the next he met, we went and picked her up from the station, and he happily chatted away all the way home. My mum stayed for a week, we did see a regresion in his behaviour whilst she was here, it was funny because he went back to the very demanding, trying to take control child that we had had a few weeks previously, this was 4 weeks into placement, we had not realised how much this had lessened until it came back with a vengence. After a couple of days it lessened again and on the whole it was a good week.
I took Munch to stay at my mum’s a few weeks later, it took us 6 1/2 hours to get here because of traffic, but he was really well behaved, I have to say the DS and DVD player had a lot to do with that though. We had a very busy weekend, people visiting, my brother SIL and niece came to stay as well on the Saturday, he had already met them before hand. Then on the Sunday there was a tea party for one of my great aunts 90th Birthday. We left pretty late, and although I had got Munch ready for bed and hoped that he wouls sleep he only slept for a little while so by the time we got in and he had said hello to his daddy and had supper, because you just cannot go to bed with out supper we had a very tired little boy.
For the next few days his behaviour really went down, he was really testing the boundries and being very demanding, it was like he had the devil in him. We had a parent complain to the Beaver leader that Munch had touched their daughter inappropriatly, this was on top of sexualised behaviour that we had been witnessing and hearing at home, this had started during intro’s and had been a new one to everyone concerned, but given his backround and circumstances we are not suprised and believe at b present these are things that he has seen and is acting out. We tell him that it is inappropriate and is not for children, it has lessened over time but does occasional pop up. Anyway I spoke to him about it and he genuinly looked like he did not know what he had done wrong, and I do believe this as normally when we talk to him he always has some thing to say and an answer this time he did not. Munch did eventually calm down after a few awful days. We think he had been unsettled due to staying somewhere else, meeting so many new people and having late nights.
I have also taken him to stay at my dad’s for a few nights, again he got on great with my dad which was a good thing because on the last day we were there I was not very well at all and ended up spending most of the day in bed because I had a long drive home, so Munch spent most of the day with my dad. On returning home Munch was fine.
Our 1st review went very well, this was 4 weeks after placement, everyone was really pleased with how things were going. Our new SW is great, she’s not at all like our old SW who we miss very much, and still keep in touch with, but she works very hard on our behalf to make sure that we have everything that we need. As for Munch’s SW, he has visited 3 times in the 13, nearly 14 weeks that Munch has been here, and 1 of those visitswas for the review, so the less said the better.
It’s a strange place we are at at the moment, in some ways Munch’s behavour has improved so much, as I said before, it seems like he has been here for ever, and in other ways he is still like a stranger. It’s hard to know what is going round in his little head, what must he be thinking, god only knows. We met up with his FC’s almost 2 weeks ago and since then we have had a very angry little boy at times, it is as if they reminded him of what he has lost, for the first time in ages he got out his Life story book and looked at it this week. We have had 2 incidents where he has blown, has been really angry shouting right in your face, threatening to smash things up. After the second incident, he said I cant help it mummy, it really is heart breaking.
We have our 2nd review this week, we have our court paper’s sitting on the side in the kitchen, so we are hoping that they say hat we can put them in at the review this week. I shall try and up-date this more often.

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