Granny’s Visit

Well we have had granny here for a week now. Munch was very excited that granny was coming, but we have had a week of extremely difficult behaviour. He really does not cope with change well. He has been diffiant, pushing all the boundries, his behaviour at school has gone backwards.
 
On one hand I am glad that granny has seen what he can be like, but on the other hand it is such hard work. We went to the Natural History Musuem on Saturday,Munch really tested.
 
We are going to take Granny home on Saturday and stay for a few days. I am sure that this will be a big thing again as there will be more family members to see. I think we are at a difficult stage, where he cannot cope with the change in routine, but I feel that we also cannot have family to stay or us stay away from them.
 
When we come back from our visit there are a few things that we are going to change regarding routine, we are going to sit and discuss some of our tactic’s of dealing with his behaviour so that we are both doing the same thing.
 
Watch this space……………..

Contact

We had a phone call today from our SW, she called to say that maternal Grandmother who was supposed to be havi g direct contact with, and Munch’s LA have been trying to sort out since we were first linked with him is moving away from the area where she lives back to where she was originally from and so she will not be able to do direct contact. We are pleased that this issue has resolve it’s self, but a little sad onMunch’s part as it just show’s hat she was never really interested in contact, else distance would not matter to her.
 
Just the issue of letter box now, we have agreed to write to BM, BF and maternal GM, but the contract came through saying letter and photo, we are not happy with photo, so have not signed until it is sorted. That aside I really must start thinking about what we are going to write as it is due next month.

I feel Angry!

I felt very angry for my child this morning and as a result was very teary. It stared with a sill thing like helping him put his socks on, as I was doing it I lent forward which prompted Munch to knee me right in the forhead, I asked him why he did it and he said that e thought that I was going to kiss him and he didn’t want to be kisses. I explained that you cannot hurt people, and if they are doing something you dont like you just ask them not to, he was very apologetic, it was just a reaction to something he did not want to happen.
 
Munch is geting much better now at letting us touch him, but the inciden made me very angry with his birth family for what they had done to my poor boy, so much so that I ended up crying.
 
I then went to my Tuesday group and what was the subject to day, but abuse within families. I was teary when I got there just talking to one of the support workers who is great, then when the subject of alchol and drugs came up, that was me off again!
 
Oh well have recovered now, the lovely worker phoned me in the afternoon to see if I was ok which was really nice of her.
 
The rest of the day passed with out incident, Munch has been in a really good mood, we went to the library, came home he played nicely in his room went to Beavers came home and went to bed. He is really looking forward to his Granny coming to stay on Thursday and is conting down the days.

Hairdressers

Tomorrow is school photo day, so tonight after school I took Munch to get his hair cut. This is our 3rd visit to the hairdressers since he has been here. It was a much different experience from the last time, he sat and waited nicely on the whole, and only had to be reminded a couple of times to sit back down, the last time we went i was pulling my hair out, he was all over the place, could not sit still, would not listen and generally was making a show of himself for every one who was watching, needless to say  I was really pleased with him afterwards.
 
Another thing that has been happening this last week is that Munch has been going off to play on his own with no encouragement, he has been and played on his own before but has needed to be encouraged to do so, so I have seen this as an big improvement.
 
We had a very angry moment with Munch last night. He came down from his bath to watch TV as he normally does each evening, daddy was on the sofa where he normally sits and in true Munch still, demanded that daddy move, and that it was his TV and he wanted his programme on, Munch can be very demanding and quite agressive in the way that he says hese things, this put daady’s back up who pointed out to Munch that his was not the way to talk to us, or they way to ask for anything, Munch choose to not want to take on board what we where saying to him, and had one of his angry out bursts shouting that he had asked nicely and ad not demanded, we had lots of tears and shouting, TV was taken away for him, he decided that if we did not let him watch the TV, he was going to throw all my ironing which I had done on the floor starting to pull at it (he really would not do it as we know he has not got it in him at the moment). I told him that he does not get things by threatening to do things, which made him say, I will do it and pull a it again, I sent him up to his room.
 
He came down saying that he was not going to his room and when I told him to do as he was told and to go back up, he lashed out and hit me, so he was sent back up and told this time to get into bed which, I think he realised that he had now pushed it too far and did what he was told.
 
I left him for about 10 minutes and went up and spoke to him, I said if he had calmed down he could come down and have his supper, which he did and was back to his normal happy self, like nothing had happened!!!
 
Hubby and I have spoken today and have decided that from now on and so that we are both doing the same thing, is that from now on we are going to use time in as a consequence for bad behaviour, Munch will be sat on a chair in the kitchen for 6 mins (his age) and we will stay in there with him.
 
One last thing after story, Munch always messes around when we are saying goodnight, pushing for more time wanting to do different things etc, I have decided that from now on we will be having a hug and a kiss goodnight and that is it, if he wishes to mess around I shall just say goodnight and leave. Before I have always gone back when he callls when I have left as I really dont like the thought of not saying goodnight properly, this I think has been the problem and he knows that. Tonight I told him from ow on just a hug and kiss goodnight, he tried messing so I just left the room saying goodnight, love you and that was it did not go back, and I shall do that each night from now on even if it means that we dont have a hug and kiss.

Good Week

Well not much to add at the moment, we have had a good week, Munch still has his quirky ways, i think is how I shall refer to them, but in all it has been a pleasent week.
 
We did have one bit of bad news which really cheesed us of yesterday, our SW finally managed to get hold of Munch’s SW to talk to him about us putting in our Adoption Application into the courts and he has point blank said no, even though everyone who attended our last review had thought that it was in Munch’s interest to do so.
 
Our SW has said that we will have all the papers ready for the next review, which luckily has been set much earlier than it should as SW did not attend the last one. We will just tell them that we are posting them that day.

Tickers

 

 

Round two

Well this morning did not start off to well, Munch came into our room very early and was extremely wriggley, he was asked and asked to keep still and quiete as it was early to no availe, he then stared telling us what was happening during the day which got daddy all worked up, and daddy threw his dummy out of the pram. This sent Munch into one of his rages, with him shouting and twisting everything we said.
 
I talked with DH and he realised that he could have handled things differently, we managed to get back on track, we all went for breakfast, Munch was allowed to play with his club penguin. He phoned his cousin and had a long club penguin session with her. We then all went to the pub together for an hour before me and Munch came home and left daddy to it.
 
The rest of the day pasted with out incident and was very pleasent. A certain little person is now tucked up in bed, and as yet no calling down, so looks like he is going to get his smiley face in the morning.

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