First Ever Proper Hug!

We had a bit of a lay in this morning as we did not have such an early start, morning went well, Munch even went upstairs, did teeth and dressed himself on his own, and was very pleased with himself to.

He had a very good session with the play therapist, he chose to make bead necklaces, all of which represented his time here. The PT said that he was like a different child today, he worked well with her, he was able to accept things like praise, we then had our session, which was just a general catch up really. So all in all very good, we did the questionnaire we did before we started play therapy which showed the improvement we have made.

Daddy picked Munch up from school today and I nipped to the shop at the same time, they were back before me and as I walked through the door Munch shouted mummy’s home and threw himself at me and gave me the biggest cuddle, what a break through, things that other families so take for grant, something I have never had in the 10 months Munch has been home, a proper heart-felt hug, I could have cried right then, but I managed not to which is good for me.

Daddy took charge of our home from school routine, and boy could you tell it was a rare thing for daddy to do, Munch decided he wasn’t getting changed, so daddy let him stay in his school cloths, I did not interfere because Munch would have jumped on that immediately, then reading, Munch was like he used to be with me and still does occasionally, mumbling, missing lines out, not knowing easy words, daddy just said finish that page, much to Munch’s puzzlement, daddy then wrote in Munch’s reading diary that he had been uncooperative and not read well, Munch really does not like this, so I am sure next time he is reading with daddy he will remember and read properly.

Daddy took the dog for his evening walk, Munch was going to go on his bike, but at the last-minute decided not to, I was busy doing dinner so Munch sat drawing at the kitchen table, we were talking and Munch decided to speak rudely to me, usual speech and step, MUnch pushed me on the way to the step, so I told him firmly that I would not be pushed and for him to go to his room, he said he would not, I said fine, which I think confused him because he immediately said ok then and off he went. He called down to ask how long he had to stay there, until dinner time said I, could he go in our room asked him, no said I and he stayed up till dinner time.

After dinner Munch and daddy went to the shop’s to get Munch’s crisp’s for film club tomorrow, once back Munch went on the computer until it was time for Beaver’s. Afterwards it was supper and bed yet another lovely hug and goodnight kisses, and a very happy mummy.

Tonight I have been colouring the grey roots!! Munch was talking to me as I was doing it, he asked to sleep in our bed, no was my answer, but mummy said Munch, it would be much better for the environment, he does make me laugh sometimes.

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Here’s Monday

Well considering Munch had such a late night last night, when I got up this morning with a struggle I might add, he was already awake watching his TV in bed. He was in a very jolly mood, and by the time he went to school we all had nicknames,he was sleepy moo moo as that is what I had called him when calling him downstairs, daddy was hedgehog the frog and mine was clumsy the monkey, the dog was eat all the food, he though this was very amusing and we go called by those names all morning and if I didn’t call him sleepy moo moo, I was reminded to.

This morning I received a phone call from the reviewing officer to say that the review we were having on Wednesday had to be cancelled as Munch’s SW has to go to court, it is now re-booked for the following Wednesday, I phoned our SW to let her know and she can’t do that date as she is on A/L and out of the country, she did phone the reviewing officer but they could no do it any earlier than mid December, which the reviewing officer felt that with our issues with therapy was too late, someones on our side!!! So it will go ahead next Wednesday with out our SW, she will do a report, what we did decide today was though to still do our court paper’s ready for the review, but to say that we will hold sending them off until more funding is available for Munch’s Play Therapy, we can’t wait to send them of but it’s not about us it’s about getting the best help we can for our son, and in the grand scheme of thing’s what is a few weeks.

We had a quiet evening tonight been as he had such a late night last night, only one incident where he was rude to me and got sent to the step, he was not happy about this and kicked and hit out at me, so I sent him to his bedroom and told him I will not be hit or kicked and that he could stay in his bedroom until tea, which he did and behaved like an angel for the rest of the night.

21/11 – Visiting Big Cousin

Today we got up a bit earlier than normal on a weekend as we were going to visit family as it had been Munch’s big cousin’s 12th birthday on Friday. Munch was very excited and was very busy organising himself till we left,  he got a bag with enough toy’s in it for a week ready, his pillow and fleece for the care. He was very pleased to be allowed to sit in the front of the car for the 2 hour journey, and as usual was very good whilst travelling.

When we got there he was very excited to see everyone as granny was staying there as well. Munch went and played for a while with BC (big cousin) upstairs for a while, then they came down stairs and BC was showing him some of her jujitsu moves, Munch enjoyed this but was very excited and was getting a bit carried away, he was told to calm down a few times, then he slapped BC really hard, usual speech, step.

We then all went ice-skating, something I have only done 3 times before many, many years ago and not very well either, we hired Munch a penguin, which was something for hom to hold onto whilst skating, my SIL put his boots on whilst I was struggling with mine, and took him to the ice and put him on with his Uncle and BC, she said he said “I don’t like it” and was off like a shot with his penguin. I gingerly made my way around the rink clinging to the edge for dear life, Munch was like a whippet with his penguin, going round and round. We did laugh though, his legs were everywhere, he ended up sitting on the ice I don’t know how many times, he kept shouting “mummy, look at me, I’m doing the splits”. He loved it, was soaking wet by the time we finished, but a very good time was had by all.

We went and had Sunday lunch in a local restaurant, then when back for an hour before leaving for home. Munch did not go to bed until 9.30pm. I don’t think his head was on the pillow before he was asleep.

20/11-Becoming Clingy

Munch woke up very early calling out to me so I went into him, he said that he was scared, I just soothed him and said that he was ok and he went back of to sleep, at 8.15 he came into our room saying that it was 9 o’clock. I got up been as I was awake, and had strong words with him about coming in before he is supposed to, and about not telling the truth about the time.

We had breakfast and then went to get dressed, whilst on the stairs Munch pushed me, something he does often, so was usual body language all wrong, not allowed, step. Afterwards I went to get ready with Munch 2 steps behind, I realised then how Munch is following me everywhere, and has been doing it for a while now, I cannot even go to the loo these day’s without a shadow.

We went and did a bit of shopping and Munch was well-behaved through out, he bought some sweets with his pocket-money and was very pleased that he had £2.11 left to add to next weeks pocket-money.

When we got home I got on with hing’s in the kitchen and Munch went into the living room with daddy, I was listening to him talking to daddy, he was telling daddy that mummy was weird, one of his favorite words at the moment, and he then said “you’re a jealous daddy”, so daddy said “am I, what am I jealous of”, “me” said Munch, “oh I am, am I” said daddy “yes, you want to be me” said Munch, that made me giggle, so funny what goes through their little minds.

Daddy and Munch then played at being spy’s for a while, Munch was playing really nicely, he had a little book he was writing his spy rules in and was in great spirits, then whilst playing he deliberately hit daddy across his face right on his glasses, usual speech, step. Once time was over he just went and lay on the sofa with his head on daddies lap.

After dinner Munch went on he computer, but again since daddy had gone to work, wherever I went, so did Munch. We then sat down and watched Polar Express, such a lovely film, and for the 1st time since our Intro’s Munch snuggled right up to me and we had a lovely couple of hours doing one of the things I had dreamed about doing whilst going through the adoption process, for me a priceless moment.

Afterwards, he went back on the computer for a short time, but the computer was playing up so he was making funny noises and creating. Then he wanted the toilet and would not go on his own he was crying and saying he was scared to go on his own, no tears I might add, I did not want him to think that if he made a fuss he got his own way so I refused to go with him, so he did eventually go on his own.

I was time for Merlin, he watch’s this every Saturday, he did at 1st lay on the sofa as usual, then came and sat on the arm of the chair I was sitting in, saying he was scared on his own!!

Bedtime routine was as usual, story, snuggle time and cream, followed by lights out.

19/11- Bullying

We had a very good start to the day. When we got to school and Munch lined up one of the other boys came up and stood next to Munch and said to his mum, that’s Munch, he’s the one I’ve been telling you about, I said to Munch what have you been up to, and he looked back at me with a very puzzled look on his face, this other boy said he’s been bullying me in the playground. I then spoke to the mum and asked her if  her boy had been having a problem, I think that she was a bit shocked that I spoke to her, and sort of warbled that her son had been coming home for a few day’s saying that Munch had been hitting him. I told her I would go and have a word with the teacher, and told Munch that I would speak to him about it when we got home.

I spoke to the teacher and told her what had been said, she was very surprised, she said that she would speak to both of them today. Munch often mention’s this boy, he is one of the few children that he does talk about, so I was very surprised, but if it was happening I wanted it nipped in the bud ASAP. Munch, I know can be very clingy with children, and I know some do not like this and in he past we have had friends children who have found this scary.

When I picked Munch up from school, I spoke again to his teacher, she said that she had spoken to the boy in question, he was adamant that nothing was happening, and that him and Munch were friends, so I have left it at that. On the way home, Munch said about me going to speak to him at home so I told him that I had spoken to his teacher and she had said every thing was ok so I had nothing to talk to him about, he said then tha he had done nothing, I have to say that I think we can tell when he is not being truthful and I felt like he was then, so I used this to illustrate how it is not nice to blamed for something you have not done and that is why when he blames people for something they have not done he has to sit on the step.

We went to the Children’s Centre for there stay and play session, he does not have very much contact with other children besides school and Beaver’s so I thought it would be good to go so that he had other children to play with, he kept saying that he didn’t want to go, but I knew once he got there he would enjoy it, so I said that we would go and stay for 10 minutes, if after that he didn’t want to stay we would go home, once there he was off playing with he other’s, they did a few things fo Children in Need, like face painting and guess how many spots were on the wall. He lasted till 5 minutes from the end then wanted to go home.

The rest of the evening went ok, apart from when I was speaking on the phone and he kept interrupting, we had snuggle time on his bed, I am really enjoying this time as we having lovely talks during them, tonight Munch was asking how long it was until the Christmas Party at the centre, I told him it was a little while yet, and that after the party we were going to have to got straight out as I had arranged for him to meet a certain man who would be visiting soon, his face was a picture although he was trying not to show it, he then said, I don’t want to visit santa Claus, that’s ok said I, I can cancel it, oh well said he, we had better go now then been as you have already booked it!!!!!! He had the biggest grin, a proper heart melting moment.

Early Awakening

Munch came into our room at 3am this morning saying that he could not sleep, I was saying to him, come on I’ll come back with you, but I only got to the come on and he shot up the bed and in between us quicker than Linford Christie in one of his races. Ok, next time I will choose my words more carefully!! Well for an hour he wriggled and wriggled, in the end I told him I was going to the toilet and went into the spare bedroom. He then went to sleep, he got up and went to the toilet just before the alarm was due to go off, he looked at me and said I’m not getting up yet and off back to my spot in the bed he went!!

When I dropped him at school I had a word with the head teacher who again said, no he did not start yesterday’s nose bleed, obviously not listening to anything that I had to say. Oh well.

Picked Munch up from school, on the way to the car he was deliberately trying to trip me up, asked to stop, he carried on so usual spiel, step when you get in, this just made him do it all the more!!!

At home he went straight on the step, then upstairs to get changed, then we went straight to his Express It! group. On the way I warned him that if I had to speak to him once about his behaviour we would leave, something must have got through because we has a good time at the group.

At home we did his reading, another book he has had before and that is far to easy for him, so strong words were written in the reading diary, next we did his book work, then his homework, and lastly his spellings. Munch was told to choose something to do whilst I was preparing dinner, Munch had lost the use of the computer tonight for not listening and stringing out what he was doing the night before on there at bathtime, so he chose to get his pool game out, as things where not happening as he wanted to Munch started hitting himself about the head, I said for him to stay calm, think about what he was doing then when he though that he could manage it to try again, he was very upset about that and talked very rudely to me so, spiel again, step. Munch was not happy with this and threw the chairs on the floor in the kitchen and deliberately punched me, once off the step he was rude again, so back to the step he went, this time quietly and sat and did his time well. Once off, he played with his pool game nicely until dinner time. As dinner was a bit later it was straight in the bath, his bedtime routine went well tonight.

SW’s Visit – 17/11

We had a good morning today, I had told Munch the previous evening that his SW was visiting today as it ment that he was unable to stay to film club after school. We had stopped telling him before his SW visited and we normally only tell him now when we pick him up from school when his SW is already here as the first couple of times he visited Munch was awake all night before with pains in his legs. Munch had slept all night so that was good.

We were not only having a visit from Munch’s SW but our SW was coming to as we have our 4th review next week, our SW was coming a bit before so that we could discuss anything we needed to before Munch’s SW arrived. In the mean time we received a phone call from Munch’s school to say that he had really bad nose bleed and what should they do!!!! I explained to them that his was one of Munch’s big trick’s when he is stress about anything, when he was 1st here we used to get up to his bedroom wall looking like a massacure had taken part in his bedroom, he would plaster his walls by his bed in blood, I was a bit annoyed, the fact that we had no leg pains last night, it was his way of showing his stress, person who I was talking to went and spoke to person dealing with Munch and came back and said, no he had not made I bleed himself, to which I said that he is very clever in how he does it,  I have seen him make it pour in front of me on more han one occasions when he has not been able to deal with a situation. They asked me what I wanted to do, he is at school with you what do you want me to do!!!!! Person said that they would speak to the head teacher and phone back, by now Munch’s SW had phoned early to say that he was at the station, so off when daddy to pick him up, our SW then turned up, so not much time to talk to her about anything before the other one turned up, and then the head teacher phoned to say that Munch was looking very pale  so it would be best if we picked him up, this I was not pleased with as giving Munch’s track record I have visions of a nose bleed every time something is happening he is not keen on at school. I told her that I was just waiting for the SW to turn up and we would be there when we could. We took the opportunity to have 10 minutes all together when daddy and SW got back then daddy went and fetched Munch.

Before fetching Munch we managed to talk about his SW applying for more funding for he play therapy and us having our papers ready so that everyone in agreement we can put our papers in to court he very next day, yipee!!!!

Munch and daddy turned up, Munch looked far from pale and put on a great show with his pool table, wanted to wash his nose asap, which they had not been willing to do a school. One very happy to be home child, able to listen to everything that was being said. The good thing that came out of it was that, Munch having been seen by his SW,  off when said SW nice and early, he had booked into a hotel for the night as he always does, so was having a nice early finish.

Sw’s gone, Munch wanted to play with his Lego with daddy, he was very obviously on a Knife edge though after the visit and some of our biggest meltdowns have been post SW visits, he was in one of his contrary moods, and it was obvious that it did not mater what anybody did it was going to be wrong, in the end I just said you are being very rude all the time, it is not allowed, step. He was not happy, banged on the door, made lots of noise for he 1st couple of minutes then just sat on the step. This seemed to regulate him though and he and daddy had a great time with the Lego up until dinner.

After his bath Munch was allowed to have his supper and drink in the living room whilst watching TV for a one-off. Upstairs straight after for story, but Munch, kept interupting and messing around so story book got put away, we then did snuggle time, but when time was up he would not move hen was very hyper and I had to leave the room with hug or kiss, just I good night, I waited for it and a few minutes later got he call fo a hug and a kiss, which I went up and we had. Quiet at last.

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