Way Hay, A Good Day.

At 5am this morning Munch called for his daddy, 1st time he has ever called for daddy rather than me in the night, so off daddy went and ame back looking as pleased as punch that he had been called rather than me, 5 minutes later into our room came Munch saying that he was scared, so daddy took him back to bed, then came and said do you think just for tonight Munch could come in with us. I have tried sleeping with both of them and Munch is such a wriggler it does not work so I went and fetched Munch and went into the spare room.

This morning was lovely, Munch was in such a jolly mood, he got himself up came down with a cheery good morning, ate his breakfast well, we sat an talked an giggled. I then told Munch that daddy would be picking him up as I was going out with friends and said that I would have to have a nice big hug and kiss in the playground before he went into school, no way say’s he, he just does not do kisses or cuddles in the playground, I will very occasionally get a little look over his shoulder as he is going in and a sort of wave, so I said well I will just have to have it now and to my amazement over he came sat on my lap gave me a huge hug and a lovely kiss.

He dressed himself with out moaning and asking for help and we had an equally pleasant drive to school, and now I am home ordering thing’s that the Play Therapist told us to get yesterday, so I have now ordered Pinocchio on DVD, the book The Boy Who Cried Wolf, and some squeakers to squeak at Munch when he is saying something that is not real.

Once that was done I got myself ready for my afternoon out with some friends and had a lovely time having Afternoon Tea at The Dorchester.

Daddy reported that  Munch had been very good after school, they had tea, Munch went on the computer for a little while, then claimed he had nothing to do, so not really sure what he did until it was time for his 1st Karate Lesson, which again daddy reports that he really enjoyed, he listened and concentrated well throughout.

I was home before they got in, Munch was full of it and showing me all his moves he had learned, he then watched TV for a while before supper and bed, he is already counting down the day’s till his next lesson and was so full of it found it hard to get to sleep tonight, he did eventually go off though.

Pinocchio and Telling the Truth

This morning started off with Munch coming downstairs and being cross with the dog because she had knocked the Laptop on the floor, once he had picked it up and put it on to make sure it was still working he sat happily playing with his Club Penguin, computer is not normally allowed in the morning but as it was Play Therapy day and we have a later start I left him to it so I could get on.

Then the Play Therapist arrived Munch was up and on the go at 100 miles an hour, he was dragging the poor dog around by her collar, in and out as we were fetching things in, that was until he trip over her and banged his head on the car, he started to hit and kick the dog, I had to pull him away, this was in the living room with the Play Therapist so I left her to him and went in the kitchen.

I think it was then that what had happened last night and with the incident over the weekend caught up with me and I just sat at the kitchen table and cried, I did get myself together though for when they had finished.

Daddy took Munch off to school and I told the Play Therapist about the 2 incidents, Munch today had wanted all of her play equipment out of her car and she said the thing that he had picked to play with was Pinocchio, and they had done a lot of work around telling the truth and his nose growing and they had between them developed a squeaking technic for when Munch was being untruthful, so we are now on a mission to find the little squeaks that you put inside teddy bears so that when he is being untruthful we can squeak at him, she said we are no to say he is lying, but to say that is not real. She also said to make a note of these things, one so that she can see what they are and 2 for our record, I also said that I though it was a good idea to ring Munch’s SW and she said yes to do that and to tell him that we have some strategies in place.

The next thing that I spoke to her about was the comment that had been made to me at the wedding on Saturday when I was asked if Munch had been diagnosed, and before I could say anything she said, with ADHD, I said about reading about it and Munch displaying practically all of the tell-tale sign’s and she said to make an appointment with our GP and say we want referring to a pediatrician who specialises in this field. Like she said ADHD is often be masked by attachment issues. So an appointment has been booked for Friday with he GP.

We talked about getting Pinocchio on DVD, as we said we must have every other Disney DVD bar that one (we had them all way before Munch came along), and also about getting The Boy Who Cried Wolf to read to him, and some sort of children’s programme called if I remember right Jaker’s, which uses morals for the back drop of it’s stories, I will have to do a bit of research about that online.

Munch was in a good mood when I picked him up from school, I had brought him his own mouse for the computer, something we have been going to do since he arrive last year!!!! Better late than never, so after doing his reading he was pleased to use it.

It was then off to gymnastic’s, then home for tea, get ready for Beaver’s and off there, Tuesday’s are busy nights thank goodness his gymnastic’s is only for 5 weeks.

I did phone Munch’s SW but he is off sick so I phoned our SW and filled her in, I am going to email Munch’s SW as soon as I have finished this.

Munch is now tucked up in bed after another performance to cut his toe nails, why do I get so wound up over toe nails!!! Still done now for another little while.

A day That Ended In Tear’s, Munch’s and Mine.

Well after being in bed by 7pm last night Munch slept right through till 8am, not a peep did we hear all night.

Munch was in a very good mood all morning and I didn’t have to niggle at him once!!!

After school was a different matter, he was full of attitude when I picked him up, was not listening to anything and before we had even got to the car he had earned himself a time on the step.

Once in straight on the step, then we did his reading which he did well and we were going to do one of his 2 pieces of home work but ended up doing them both, so at least they are out-of-the-way until Friday.

After that I asked Munch what he was going to do, but he was very cheeky so got sent to the step again, even whilst on the step he was being cheeky, so ended up being sent to his bedroom, where I left him until dinner time.

After dinner Munch had his computer time until bath and TV time.

All went well until he was in bed for his story, just as I was about to start reading he said, “mummy I’m going to tell Miss ——- that you punched me in the face tomorrow”, well to say I was a bit shocked and very hurt and quiet upset was a understatment, we have had a lot of blaming before, but not so blatant and after yesterday, now normally I am good at showing no emotion and ignoring, but this really got to me, so I put down his book and said well if you are going to say that I have done that to you I am not going to sit here and read you a story. He then said I wont say it, ok, so I picked up the book to start reading and as soon as I did  he immediately said, that he was going to tell his teacher that I had punched him in the face, so very un theraputically, and not the right thing to do, I asked him what he thought would happen if he told his teacher that, I said she would have to tell his SW and did he think his SW would be able to leave him with a family that punched him in the face. Oh dear, what an awful thing to say to him, now I’m angry with him and myself.

I went away to cool down, Munch followed me down the stairs, I told him to go back up, he would not so I caught hold of him by he arm and pushed him up onto the stairs, next thing he is shouting you hurt me you scratched me, he had an angry scratch along his wrist, now I cannot say for sure that I did not do it, but I had only held him by the wrist, and with his history of self harming, I am not sure. Anyway I apologised and said that I was very sorry, I did not mean to scratch him, and that if we do thing’s wrong we will say sorry, big hugs and kisses, and even now as I type he is calling, so I think we are in for a very restless night.

I am glad his play therapist is coming tomorrow as what with the incident yesterday and now this, I know she will be a big help and give us some wonderful strategies to deal with this, afterwards I will phone our SW and his just to fill them in.

Oh, the joy’s of Adoptive Parenting.

23/1 – A Quiet Sunday.

After such a late night Munch was up at 9am, so not to bad. We had a quietish day to make up for the very lively day we had yesterday.

We had a couple of incidents, both concerning the cause of yesterday’s meltdown, I am not going to talk about them on here as it is a very sensitive issue which we feel is from his past, but very disturbing in the fact he is saying we have done it, I have worked in the past with children who have used people they feel safe with to bring issues to the surface, it is something we will discuss with our play therapist and Munch’s SW, our main worry is that we need to get these incident on record to cover ourselves in case he should say it to somebody else.

Lunch time we all took a trip to fetch the car as we had got a taxi home last night, I came home and daddy and Munch went bowling for a couple of hours.

Back at home and it was a quick shower, some TV for Munch then an early bedtime to make up for lack of sleep, he was in bed by 7pm, and must have gone to sleep straight away because even when our Chinese was delivered we di not get the usual shout from upstairs of “save me some”!!!!!

22/1 – Munch’s 1st Wedding.

Today started in the very early hours of the morning when Munch came into the bedroom saying very cheery that he was scared, I went back to his room with him tucked him back in and off he went to sleep. 1/2 hour later in he came again, this time he was crying and what can only be described as howling, he just got into bed with me (daddy still was not home from work) and was shaking his legs saying that they were hurting, I tried rubbing them, but that made him howl more, he then started saying that it was his knee’s, still crying still howling. Then it was his nose, this went on for a good 15 minutes, he kept hitting me and saying my nose, he would take no comfort. In the end I picked him up and carried him back to his room, he was still crying and howling, he was saying my nose, I can’t breath shouting it over and over again, I got him tissues and told him to blow his nose, he just threw them, then he stared throwing his teddies at me, was in full meltdown mode by now, he was shouting get out of my room, but the slightest move even though I was going nowhere, he was yelling no don’t leave me, I just said I am not going anywhere, I am just going to stand here where you can see me, he carried on shouting, crying and howling, but stopped throwing thing or telling me to get out, when he had calmed just a little and was just making a noise, I said right I am going into my room I will come back in 5 minutes. As soon as I left he room he was quiet, I waited for it to start again, but it didn’t, by then though I was unable to get back to sleep as he slightest little thing had me thinking here we go again.

Then hubby came in for work so silly o’clock I ended up getting up and having a cuppa with him, back to bed and I went into the spare room, so I did not have to listen to hubby snoring as I was shattered by then, hubby put the TV on in our room so I could hear the mummering through the wall, and I was just in that state where anything was keeping me awake, after an hour of listening to this I went in to ask him how much TV he was going to watch and he was sound asleep!!!!!

Got up a bit later than intended, we had a Wedding to go to today, it was a 12 noon start and we had a little way to travel, so we spent all morning getting ready. Munch is not good with new situations, so was a little hyper during the morning and me and hubby had discussed that we though we would see how thing’s were going and if we needed to we would leave if it was all getting too much for Munch.

As it was we had a great day, they were all brand new people for Munch as it was a friend I used to work with getting married, it was lovely as there were friends there who we had not seen for years, most of them I keep in touch with through Facebook, but one who I had not seen for a long time, when I was talking to her Munch called me, is he yours she said, yes said I how old is he said she, 7 said I, Oh, I didn’t realise it had been that long since I saw you last said she, he’s only been my son for a year said I, oh said she and off she went looking rather puzzled!!!! A fair bit had been drunk by then.

We were sat on a table with a friend’s of our’s who had moved up North a few years ago, and their 2 children, their daughter was the bridesmaid, and Munch and them were the only children there. Munch was on the whole very good with their 2-year-old and looked after him all day and also got on really well with the daughter who is a year  older than him.

Munch was well-behaved most of the time but was his usual self when in public, on the go all the time, loud in a look at me sort of way and very attention seeking from everyone. I had an interesting conversation with someone who I knew, but not very well, and because we were all siting together picked up on our situation, he asked if I minded him asking if Munch had a diagnosis, no said I like what, he said it’s just that I work with children with ADHD and he display’s a lot of the same characteristic’s, I was not at all offended as I think he though I was going to be, and I would not be at all surprised if Munch had, I read an article the other day which gave pointer’s to look out for and at the time though, oh dear Munch has them all.

We had one mini meltdown by Munch’s standard’s when he was told off by daddy for taking the little one’s balloon’s off him, he was crying and shouting, hitting out, I eventually, got him to come out to a quiet place with me where I spoke to him and calmed him down. We decided to give to stay a little longer to see how he went, and he was as good as gold for the rest of the night, enjoyed the fact he was able to go and get a drink when ever he wanted, he kept asking for a beer every time he went up, and came away with  juice or pop, but 10 out of 10 for persistence. He enjoyed the buffet, he joined in with some of the dancing, and made ever one laugh when at the end of the night after all he buffet had been taken away off he took himself up to the bar and came back with a plate of Chicken Curry!!!

Back at home, I had to rush to the loo and 30 second’s later Munch was behind me saying he was so shattered he just wanted to go to bed, no supper, no nothing, that has never happened before, no matter what with Munch he has alway’s had to have his 4 eat’s as he say’s, typical of a child who has at one time or another been starved, he even had to have supper when we went to my cousin’s 40th Birthday Party and because they put on coach’s we did not get back to granny’s until 2 am, so  for the 1st time ever in over a year he felt safe enough to go to bed with out supper, may not seem anything to most people to us that was such a big step.

2 Not to Bad Day’s

Thursday after school Munch’s Express It! group started back up, they are running it differently now, it’s going to be a 6 week programme rather than just a group run every week,I am hoping it will be a bit more focused, as I have felt before that it was not really helping in any way apart from I was good for us to go along and have contact with others, so we will see. Whilst there I was asked by the manager if I would be willing to join the parent’s forum that they are starting so I agreed to that.

During the group, because wev’e had a break for a month Munch was ‘performing’ very well for his audience, he was uncooperative, was not taking part, laying down in the middle of the group circle, being very loud and talking over people. Half way through I took him aside and laid down the law that this behavior was not allowed, if he carried on we would go straight home and onto the step, he did calm down a little after that but we will have to see what next week bring’s.

Friday was a relatively good day too. After school we went shopping for new shoe’s for Munch, he has such a strong sence of what he like’s I knew it was going to be a difficult job. We eventually agreed on a pair, normally I would within reason let him pick his own, but these were to wear to the Wedding we were going to the next day so I was a bit more choosy  than I normally would have been.

The shoe’s were from Next and whilst we were in there Munch spotted a Trilby Hat, he tried the hat on and really wanted it, and he did look very cool, I agreed to him having the hat if he used his pocket-money towards it and also said that because of the extra money I would have towards it that we would not be able to go to Hobby Craft to get the paper cutter’s he wanted. He still wanted the hat, when we were paying for it he asked the lady at the counter to take the tags off, which she did, as soon as she did it he gave her the hat and said that he didn’t want it any more,I told him it was too late , the lady has taken the tag of now like you asked her to, he created and he cried was begging the assistant to take it back, I just told her to ignore him, paid for our bit and left the shop with a wailing child, and just made it clear to him that all that creating was not going to help, that you cannot just expect people to take things back and that in future he needed to think carefully before making decisions.

With a bit of jollying along an a lot of you looked great, really cool in that hat,he then proudly wore it back to he car.

At home he asked to watch the Karate Kid again before bed.

19/1 – Arranging Karate Lessons

Today started well, and we had a pleasant morning before school.

Daddy picked Munch up from school and as soon as he came in he was straight upstairs and onto his Harry Potter Lego game on the XBox. Daddy and I had already discussed doing his reading later, after daddy has gone to work, rather than as soon as he gets in, so we will be giving this a trial run to see how it works, anyway problem was solved as he had not brough home his reading diary or his learning diary. I shall be checking his bag before he leaves school tomorrow as this is one of his little ploy’s to get out of doing the work. I would not mind, but it’s not as if we push, as long as he is doing his reading which is what his school expects, with his learning diary, which is a subject that they are given every Friday to do with what they are doing at school, we will talk about it, I will give him any help he asks for and then when he has finished as long as he is happy with what he has done so are we, at the moment I feel we have much more to worry about and be working on than his home work. Some times its 5 minutes and its done, other times he will spend a long tome on it so we will for the time being do as we are doing on the homework front.

When Munch had finished with his Xbox, he asked if we could bake some cakes, which we did, he watched TV whilst they were cooking, then had great fun decorating them when they were finished he proudly gave one each to me and daddy and then had 2 himself (they were very small).

Ever since Munch has been here he has talked about Karate, we have spoken before about him doing it but we were a bit unsure, anyway we decided to phone up a local group, hubby spoke to the leader who said to bring him along and to have a look a bit of a join in, the only thing he said was that the area where we live is a big into football so the youngest they had at the moment was 14 years, double Munch’s, anyway we though we would take him along anyway, we had picked this club because of the time as it was 6.30 -7.30, where the others were all later times.

Off we went leaving 1/2 hour early so we could meet the leader, as it was it took us that whole 1/2 hour to find the place, and then once in the building we had to find them as the receptionist sent us to the ballroom dancing lessons!!! When we finally found them they had already gone in but there was a different club that had just finished and they had lots of littley that were around Munch’s age, we spoke to them and have decided they would be much more suitable and Munch was happier that there were other children there, so we will go back again next week.

Back home Munch had another of his little cakes for supper before heading off for bed.

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