1st Half Term in Juniors.

Can you believe we are at the half term mark already!!

Well not such a successful 1st half term in the Junior’s for Munch. There has not been a week when I have not been called aside by his teacher because of his behaviour at break times. Time and time I have tried to explain why he is unable to manage the unstructured time but it seems to be falling on deaf ears. I have tried putting the ball in the court and asking what they are going to do to help him manage this time, and it also feels like he is beginning to become a bit of a scape-goat – all ready labelled so lets blame him.

Anyway after yet another incident on the last day of the half term, I have said that I want a meeting. I have been busy downloading and print stuff of the Internet about attachment and have been tying to strengthen my knowledge and understanding of how Munch’s past life experiences have affected him. I have made 2 copies of everything I have printed off and intend to take in the extra copy to the school and ask the teacher to read it. I have also order Inside I’m Hurting:  Practical  Strategies for Supporting Children with Attachment Difficulties in Schools by Louise Bomber which has been dispatched today, so hoping it will come tomorrow so it will give me a while to read it and take what I need out of it before I meet h his teacher.

Work wise he is doing really well though and Munch himself is really enjoying as he puts it the harder work that they do in the Junior’s. He also gets on well with his homework which I though we might have a problem with but a the moment he is enjoying doing it.

On Friday we also received a letter from the family therapist at CAMHS, Munch’s case had been reviewed and it was decided that he needed to have Child Psychotherapy, they have a long waiting list though so were unable to accept him onto it!!!! We have an appointment to meet with the family therapist next month to discuss what we want to do, she did not fill me with confidence that last time, so some more work to do there I intend to write every thing down before I go so that I do not get all tongue tied and let them fob me off.

Munch is doing a weeks Karate School this week, he is still doing very well with his Karate, even after the set back of breaking his arm over the summer. And on the subject of that, last week at school he fell and has really hurt it again, we went to A & E and it was x-rayed, the registrar came and looked at the x-ray and said it was fine, just to come back for an outpatients appointment in 2 weeks, a week on though he is still unable to move it properly and is still in pain, so we have a doctor’s appointment for the morning.

Last thing, tomorrow is the day of the team meeting where they will discuss whether we will be accepted onto the books so to speak of the LA on the road to no. 2, fingers crossed +++++++

Initial SW Visit For No. 2.

We had our initial visit yesterday on the way now hopefully for number two.

We talked generally about how things were going with Munch,  how our lives had changed, how we have dealt with things. We discussed how we thought that Munch would deal with a new addition, the SW filled in all the bits she needed to.

We then discussed what we would be looking for in our 2nd child, an why, we have said that to take out any rivalry we would prefer a girl this time, we have also said between 3 and 6 years old. There were things like contact as well to be taken into consideration, we were very open to direct contact last time, but as Munch only has letterbox we feel that it would be total unfair to him to have a sibling who had direct contact with BF, and would open up a whole new can of worms, so have said that it’s a no to direct contact.

The next step is that the SW has to take it to the next team meeting, she has said that she cannot see any problem with us being accepted, after that she is looking at doing a couple of long sessions, and a couple of Saturday sessions so that Munch can be included and  these 4 visits should be more than enough to update our previous PAR. She has asked that we use my mum as 1 of our references so that she can come and see here when she is visiting over Christmas and that we should get to panel in the New Year, so all sounding positive.

10 Days Since……….

Well as you can see I have a new ticker, I have decided to rather than  have two blogs, that I will keep them together.

We are finally on our way to hopefully having a brother or sister for Munch, we had spoken to our 1st SW before the summer holiday’s about sarting the process again and she agreed to come out and see us. We asked to have the summer holiday’s 1st and she was on holiday for the 2nd week of September, then on the 23rd September we received the phone call from her to set up an initial visit.

It was initially set up for 12th October, but she phoned a couple of day’s ago to change it to the 14th which worked out well as we then received a hosital appointment for Munch on the 12th and at the same time so we would have had to change anyway. She is going to bring all the official paper work with her, so another watch this space!!!!


Where did the 6 week summer Hols go!!!

Well I cannot believe that the 6 week school summer holiday’s has been and gone already and my Munch is now in the Junior School.

Our holiday started well we had a week at home before we went away with Granny and his big cousin to Butlins for a 4 night break from the Monday to the Friday night. We travelled down to my brother and sister-in-laws on the Sunday night and had a night there before leaving early on the Monday. We stopped for breakfast on the way which all enjoyed. My niece brought one of her CD’s with us and we played it all they way there, the look on Munch’s face as we all sang along to he song’s in the car was a picture.

We had a lovely week, Munch as usual was a bit of a handful and needed some reigning in on times, but on he whole was good. One of the funny thing’s when we were there was that he got himself a girlfriend!! He never got to know her name though!!

The following week we met his Foster Carer’s at a restaurant with a play area attached, we were happy to be doing it as we feel it is very important for Munch to see that there are still people in his life that care, but we were also well aware that it was what triggered his realisation last year that we were his family and our honeymoon period came to an abrupt halt.  We had a lovely few hours with them, they are at present fostering 3 children so Munch enjoyed having other children to play with, they had a couple of hours in the play room and as it was nice they were also able to play on the outdoor play area.  The time went very quickly and before we knew it the time was getting on and as we all had a couple of hours drive home it was time to leave. We all agreed to met again and said our goodbye’s.

We had a bit of a detour on the way home and finally arrived home quite late, Munch played with his football for a little while outside until he fell and banged his arm on the wall, he must have hurt himself because he actually came to me and cuddled in. I looked at his arm, there was no marks or swelling even though he said it hurt to turn his hand, and off he went to bed.

Next morning when Munch got up he said that it was still hurting to turn his hand, again I checked it but no visible signs of  anything wrong and off he went playing in the garden whilst daddy was tidying the garden, after a little while he went on his trampoline he was bouncing away and did a handstand and his arm just gave way and he collapsed in a heap on the trampoline. I was sitting in the kitchen and  heard his bone crack from where I was . Munch was very good he was upset and must have been in so much pain, his arm was bent. I have never got dressed so quick in my life and we were in daddy’s taxi and on the way to the hospital within 5 minutes.

The hospital was very busy he was taken straight into children’s A and E but we did have to wait a while until the doctor was able to see him, the x-ray showed that he had broken both the bones in the front of his arm. In the end a nurse came and said that she was going to put a temporary cast on it as he must be in a lot of pain, they also gave him morphine for the pain. Eventually the doctor was able to come and said that it would need pinning so we had to stay in overnight so that Munch could go to theatre in the morning.

Munch thoroughly enjoyed the attention over the 2 day’s, I have never seen anyone look so pleased to be going down to theatre the next morning, different story when it came to them putting in a cannula though!!! Once his am had been set we were allowed home later that day.

The broken arm put pay to a lot of our plans and we were limited to what we could do for the rest of the holidays.

We had a great weekend camping with other adoptive families, it truly was a great experience, it was good to see that Munch was not on his own in some of his behaviours, it was great that when he did have his moments, I id not feel like all eyes were on us, I cannot recommend these holiday’s enough to adoptive families.

We had a week camping booked for the last week of the holiday but as the weather was a bit unpredictable and the site we had booked onto had terrible reviews, when Munch asked when were we going to stay at granny’s again we gave him the choice of the camping holiday or going to granny’s, he choose granny’s, so me and him went to granny’s for the week instead.

It worked out well, it took his mind off going back to school the next we, we all ha a lovely time, his behaviour was getting a little anxious and at times he was very trying, but looking back to the same period last year it is hard to believe the progress we have made in the last 12 months.

So he has now been back at school for 3 weeks and he is loving it, he likes the harder work, he at the moment is even enjoying his homework so lets hope that continue’s, we have had a problem with him fining it hard to manage the freedom of dinner times and has been getting himself into trouble and getting a lot of detention. I have spoken to his teacher and as firmly as I can have put the ball in their court, I have said as much as we can talk to him about it we are not there and that they have a care of duty, what can they do to help him manage his time, whilst he is coming across as very cocky and confident it is his way of hiding the fact that he is very scared and thinks that nobody likes him, that he is not good, so I have said that whilst I know that his behaviour has to be dealt with I am not happy with him constantly getting detention as this will just re-enforce his image of himself, so I will give it a week then ask to speak to her again to be updated on what THEY are doing.