Where did the 6 week summer Hols go!!!

Well I cannot believe that the 6 week school summer holiday’s has been and gone already and my Munch is now in the Junior School.

Our holiday started well we had a week at home before we went away with Granny and his big cousin to Butlins for a 4 night break from the Monday to the Friday night. We travelled down to my brother and sister-in-laws on the Sunday night and had a night there before leaving early on the Monday. We stopped for breakfast on the way which all enjoyed. My niece brought one of her CD’s with us and we played it all they way there, the look on Munch’s face as we all sang along to he song’s in the car was a picture.

We had a lovely week, Munch as usual was a bit of a handful and needed some reigning in on times, but on he whole was good. One of the funny thing’s when we were there was that he got himself a girlfriend!! He never got to know her name though!!

The following week we met his Foster Carer’s at a restaurant with a play area attached, we were happy to be doing it as we feel it is very important for Munch to see that there are still people in his life that care, but we were also well aware that it was what triggered his realisation last year that we were his family and our honeymoon period came to an abrupt halt.  We had a lovely few hours with them, they are at present fostering 3 children so Munch enjoyed having other children to play with, they had a couple of hours in the play room and as it was nice they were also able to play on the outdoor play area.  The time went very quickly and before we knew it the time was getting on and as we all had a couple of hours drive home it was time to leave. We all agreed to met again and said our goodbye’s.

We had a bit of a detour on the way home and finally arrived home quite late, Munch played with his football for a little while outside until he fell and banged his arm on the wall, he must have hurt himself because he actually came to me and cuddled in. I looked at his arm, there was no marks or swelling even though he said it hurt to turn his hand, and off he went to bed.

Next morning when Munch got up he said that it was still hurting to turn his hand, again I checked it but no visible signs of  anything wrong and off he went playing in the garden whilst daddy was tidying the garden, after a little while he went on his trampoline he was bouncing away and did a handstand and his arm just gave way and he collapsed in a heap on the trampoline. I was sitting in the kitchen and  heard his bone crack from where I was . Munch was very good he was upset and must have been in so much pain, his arm was bent. I have never got dressed so quick in my life and we were in daddy’s taxi and on the way to the hospital within 5 minutes.

The hospital was very busy he was taken straight into children’s A and E but we did have to wait a while until the doctor was able to see him, the x-ray showed that he had broken both the bones in the front of his arm. In the end a nurse came and said that she was going to put a temporary cast on it as he must be in a lot of pain, they also gave him morphine for the pain. Eventually the doctor was able to come and said that it would need pinning so we had to stay in overnight so that Munch could go to theatre in the morning.

Munch thoroughly enjoyed the attention over the 2 day’s, I have never seen anyone look so pleased to be going down to theatre the next morning, different story when it came to them putting in a cannula though!!! Once his am had been set we were allowed home later that day.

The broken arm put pay to a lot of our plans and we were limited to what we could do for the rest of the holidays.

We had a great weekend camping with other adoptive families, it truly was a great experience, it was good to see that Munch was not on his own in some of his behaviours, it was great that when he did have his moments, I id not feel like all eyes were on us, I cannot recommend these holiday’s enough to adoptive families.

We had a week camping booked for the last week of the holiday but as the weather was a bit unpredictable and the site we had booked onto had terrible reviews, when Munch asked when were we going to stay at granny’s again we gave him the choice of the camping holiday or going to granny’s, he choose granny’s, so me and him went to granny’s for the week instead.

It worked out well, it took his mind off going back to school the next we, we all ha a lovely time, his behaviour was getting a little anxious and at times he was very trying, but looking back to the same period last year it is hard to believe the progress we have made in the last 12 months.

So he has now been back at school for 3 weeks and he is loving it, he likes the harder work, he at the moment is even enjoying his homework so lets hope that continue’s, we have had a problem with him fining it hard to manage the freedom of dinner times and has been getting himself into trouble and getting a lot of detention. I have spoken to his teacher and as firmly as I can have put the ball in their court, I have said as much as we can talk to him about it we are not there and that they have a care of duty, what can they do to help him manage his time, whilst he is coming across as very cocky and confident it is his way of hiding the fact that he is very scared and thinks that nobody likes him, that he is not good, so I have said that whilst I know that his behaviour has to be dealt with I am not happy with him constantly getting detention as this will just re-enforce his image of himself, so I will give it a week then ask to speak to her again to be updated on what THEY are doing.

Our Celebrations

Well a lot has happened in adoption term’s since I last posted, we had a great week a couple of weeks ago, it started with a great Celebration Hearing at our local County Court, Granny, Grampy, Auntie, Uncle, big cousin and our SW all attended with us. The look of pure joy on Munch’s face when he received his Certificate will stay with me for ever and boy did that certificate take some getting off him!!!!

Afterwards we all apart from our SW who had another meeting to attend, took the train into London and had a lovely meal in The Rainforest Cafe. On entering they asked if we were celebrating anything special, when we said it was Munch’s Adoption day they gave him a Happy Birthday Sticker!!! He was happy enough with it though.

The following day his class held a party for him, he had a ball, me and my mum took in some picky party food bits, they gave him a fabulous card that had lile individual cards of each child in his class, and also all the teachers had written in it to, he was happy to see that the head mistress had written in it as well. Some of the messages that the children had written were fab, our favorite by far really made us laugh, one of the girls ha wrote, Dear Munch – I hope your 2nd mum and dad come through!!!! Out of the moths of children… I also got asked one morning by another little girl was I Munch’s new parent. A few of te parents actually spoke to me too, it’s only taken them 18 months!!!

On the Saturday we had a big BBQ for all our family and friends, and it was lovely how many people came to help us celebrate, Munch and we had some lovely present’s which were not expecting, we had a Bouncy Castle for the kids, my mum and I did a big buffet, the BBQ was on the go all afternoon and on into the early evening, we had lots of people dropping in during the day and the last people left at almost mid-night, Munch handled the day wonderfully we had a few moments, but our boy is getting there a couple of times he took himself off to his bedroom to have a ‘cool down’.

We have had another session with CAMHS, our 4th one, this one was with Munch, so now the family therapist will be making her recommendation’s so we will just have to wait now.

Munch has now earned his orange belt at karate, and is doing really well.

At school we had his sat results, he got significantly above his age for maths and science, and above average for his age in all other subjects apart from his writing, but that has so improved from how it used to be so we could not be prouder of our boy. The school once again have been fantastic in helping his transition from them to Junior School in September, they have done extra visit’s with him and one of the TA’s took him over with a camera and they took lots of pictures of the school and teachers and today he brought home a little book he had made with all the photo’s in so that he can look at it over the 6 weeks. We are just hoping that the Junior school is going to be so on the ball regarding his needs as the Infants have been.

Our last bit of adoption related news is that we have started the ball rolling for number two this week, we have spoken with our original SW who left just after Munch was placed and she is coming for an initial informal meeting in September as we wanted to get the 6 weeks over with 1st.

Catch Up

Well I thought it was about time a did a bit of catching up.

We had our appointment with the family therapist at CAMHS, we did our initial appointment with Munch, then me and hubby went back the next day as they had a cancellation and we were offered the extra appointment as the therapist though we had a lot to cover, we also have another appointment just for me and hubby next week. We were asked if we would like a carer’s assessment to which we said yes, so after our next appointment it will be taken to their next meeting to decide where we go from here.

In the mean time we received a phone call from Munch’s ex-SW, feels goo to be able to say that, saying that his LA had agreed to fund 4 extra play therapy session’s so we just need to contact the play therapist now.

Granny has been to stay for a week, so good times were had there and a few late nights!!!

This week they have had an international week at school and they have been going into different classes all week this has had a very unsettling effect on Munch, because as we know change is very scary for our children, we had been noticing it at home that his behaviour was beginning to get very controlling again, then there was an incident in the school play ground, but the school have put more structure into his lunch break which has helped him feel more contained .

Lastly today we have a poorly boy who as spent most of the day in bed!!! He has vomited a couple of times, and is generally feeling under the weather, but on the plus side he has let me be his mummy today, I have been able to cuddle him and sooth him. Hope he is feeling better tomorrow though.

We Told Munch.

Well in the end we told Munch that our Adoption Order had been granted. In the few day’s afterward it was granted his behaviour was deteriorating and we felt it was because he knew something was going on, he was being very rude in the way he spoke to us, was trying to control everything and then after being rude over the weekend and being sent to do his time out on the step, he very calmly walked up to me pushed me really hard and pulled hard on my hair, so after talking with hubby we decided to tell him.

We sat him down and told him we had some very good news and that we had heard that the judge had now signed our adoption papers and we were now legally a family, we could not have hoped for a better response, Munch was so happy, he said ‘it’s the best day of my life, I have got my adoption papers’, then off he went to play in the garden, just as he was going out of the door though he said ‘actually when we go to Disney World Florida will be the best day of my life’, that’s my boy, gets his priority’s right!!!

Apart from that it has been an uneventful week, Munch was back to school on Tuesday, his last half term in infants before going to junior’s after the summer holiday’s. He is growing quicker than we can keep up with.

One last thing, we finally got an appointment with our local CAHM’s team, which is on Monday so not to long to wait, not to sure what to expect from this so we shall wait and see.

Another Milestone in Our Adoption Journey.

Well yesterday was another milestone in our adoption journey, our Adoption Order was granted. So 3 years and 4 months after starting our journey we are finally a fully fledged family.

In the end it was all a bit of an anti climax, we sat waiting for the phone called, in the end I phoned Munch’s SW to see what time he was due in court, only to be told he had been told not to attend, so I phoned the court myself and was told the order had been granted that morning, for all the noise BM had been making about contesting, she hadn’t even bothered to show up, so that’s it we are now legally the parents of the most wonderful boy in the word, our wonderful, lovely, funny son – OUR son!!!!!

We have not told Munch yet as we have our Celebration Hearing coming up in a few weeks and we have arranged a BBQ for the weekend after to celebrate with all our family and friends, and did not want to confuse him, so we will tell him nearer the date and use the date of our Celebration Hearing as our ‘official’ date.

Munch being the astute boy that he is though know’s something is afoot and has been acting accordingly over the last week, just pushing and generally being a pain in the backside, so we have had to be on top of his behaviour all the time to stop him from spiralling, it is very tiring though, but we know we have to do it for his sake.

We did go out and Celebrate even though Munch did not know we were celebrating, we went to  children’s Activity Zone and then out for a meal at a place of Munch’s choice.

So it’s a very happy and official mummy signing off tonight x

Another Proud Mummy Moment!!

It hit me a few days ago how things must be a lot calmer here, at one point I was posting a lot, now I tend to only post every now and again, and hopefully for more thing’s that are nice than the other way around.

Munch being Munch is always going to have his moments as all children do but it is nice to be able to post thing that I want to look back at and smile.

The week has been a typical week in the Munch household a few step moments for mainly speaking rudely, will we ever get rid of that behaviour!!!

On Saturday Munch had his 2nd Karate grading and did very well, he earned his yellow belt and got a trophy for being best red – yellow belt student, so a very pleased Munch and proud mummy and daddy went to celebrate at Macdonald’s, don’t say we don’t know how to live!!!

Back at home, Munch and daddy took the dog out for a walk, Munch rode his bike, he was still riding the bike that his cousin had given him the 1st time they met last year. We had asked him during he week that been as we will be going to court soon for our Adoption Order (we still haven’t told him exactly when), what would he like for an Adoption Present and he had asked for a new bike and a family game, bless him!! When they got back daddy was very concerned that the brakes that had been fixed a few times were again not working. So we decided to take him to our local bike shop and get his new bike, which we did and Munch peddled it home with daddy.

Yesterday was another day spent at the ice rink, I am seriously thinking of booking lessons for both me and him, him because he is actually quite good at it and me because I am not, and joining in is preferable to sitting and freezing watching him!!!!!

Until next time…….

Typical Day.

This morning started off with Munch coming into our bedroom before the alarm had gone off, I have told him that if he does this tomorrow there will be no 1/2 lights on in his room before story, so we will remind him again to night and see what happen’s tomorrow, otherwise we had a nice easy morning.

As we are having our Adoption Celebration at home on the Saturday after our Celebration Hearing, we have made a start on the back garden, hubby got some spot lights yesterday from B & Q, when he went to put them up yesterday most of the pars were missing so we took it back to change it this afternoon, every one that they had pieces had been taken out of the box, we went through them all, what are people like!!!!

After school the 1st thing that Munch did was his go and water his plants in the garden, then came in and read extremely well before getting ready for football , he got 7 minutes on the step for calling me an idiot, so was told he was being rude, an asked to apologies when his time was up.

After his football  we called into Tesco’s to get  a few bits, when we pulled up in Tesco’s car park I said something to Munch and he hit me on the arm, he has been warned about doing this before and had to sit in the back for a week, I can’t even remember what it was, but I told him that he knew the consequence for hitting me in the car and to put his buster in the back, he tried to say that he had hit me after we had stop so that was ok, I told him that hitting is never ok, and to put the seat in the back, he then got very cheeky, that soon stopped, when he got himself another week in the back.

Back at home thing’s went fine, he was watching a film so was allowed to spend his 1/2 light on time watching the end, then shower and bed.

As we seem to have cracked the constant calling out at night of late I decided to have a bath, oh dear not a good idea, he kept coming in the bathroom and talking, so in future will have to wait until he is asleep, at least he is going to sleep earlier when he is not calling out, so will have to give it an hour next time.

Another Milestone.

Well I have another milestone to report we finally have received our court date’s, in just over 2 weeks Munch will legally be all our’s. Our letter stated that on the day of our Representation Hearing they will be granting the Adoption Order and hat we will take full parental responsibility from that day. We also received the date for our Celebration hearing which is just 4 weeks later in our local Family Courts.

I cannot believe how excited we are, we have already arranged a Celebration Party on the Saturday after our Celebration hearing and have been over whelmed by all the good wish’s we have received from family and friends.

We are not going to tell Munch about the Adoption order until just before the Celebration hearing as I am sure it will be such a big thing for him we are fully expecting to have some sort of back lash, but we will deal with that as and when.

Besides that we have been having a fairly good time of it lately, we have had our usual moments, of times when munch finds it difficult to let go of control and has tried his best to control things, we have had his usual attitude, but no major incidents.

School is at long last back to usual with all the bank holiday’s and things over, Munch has managed to keep his room tidy and is actually spending time on his own playing with out prompting.

As for the calling out at night we seem to have cracked it with allowing 2 call outs as most evening now he doesn’t call out at all, he always say’s before I leave his room that he has 2 call outs and wants to know that I will go up if he needs me to, but hat reassurance seems to be enough though, so evenings after he is in bed are actually nice and relaxing now.

As a back lash of the no calling down now, Munch is getting to sleep much early and is awake now in the mornings, the last few morning’s though he has been coming in and waking us up before getting up time, it’s wouldn’t be a big problem apart from the fact that daddy works evenings and some times does not come in until 4 0r 5 in the morning, so this is our next thing to tackle. This morning I have said that if I comes in tomorrow morning he will not get his 1/2 lights on in his bedroom after bedtime, it will be bed, story, lights off. So we will see how we get on for the next few days!!!

Lovely day at Chessington.

Well yet another day off school today as Munch’s was being used as a polling station.

We were going to use our Merlin passes at Thorpe Park, but once we were in the car we decided on Chessington instead. On the way I said to Munch, at last his life was free of Social Works, his answer was ‘until a get a younger brother’. Which show’s that he has taken in all that we have told him about how he came to be our son enough to know that any new child coming would come in the same way.

We had a lovely day at Chessington, it was quiet and we were able to ride most of the rides a couple of times. Munch went on all the big rides that he can now and enjoyed them all. He was very nervous going on Dragon’s Fury but could not wait to get on again once we were off.

On the way home, we had an incident where Munch decided to wipe his shoes on me,I took it off him and put it on the back seat, he started screaming and kicking the dashboard of the car, he’d already had a couple of warnings in the car, I had to stop for milk, so told him to take his seat in the back and that he can spend the next week in he back.

At home Munch had watched TV until lights out.

Last night I had requested some suggestion’s of how to combat Munch’s constant calling out every night after lights out on the AUK forum, the were lots of answers, lot’s of which I had already tried, one which was a bit bazaar, and I few I will try.

Tonight I went with the suggestion of saying that he was allowed 2 call down’s then after that I would not answer, well what can I say 2 hours later and we have only had 2 call down’s!!!! Afer he 2nd I told him he’d had his 2 and he has not called down since. I shall continue with this whilst it lasts, and keep all the other suggestion’s in mind if this one does not work, so watch this space.

After almost 7 Years, Munch’s Life is Free of Social Worker’s.

Well another milestone met today, Munch’s SW came for the very last time.

I had told Munch last night that his SW was visiting today, we had the usual calling but no aches or pains overnight like we used to get.

We had a very good morning routine apart from Munch manage to drop his breakfast on the floor 3 times!!!!

Our SW also came today so that she could make sure all the loose ends were tied up, she arrived before Munch’s SW and whilst hubby was picking him up from the station, she phoned the court to see where they are at with our application, the judge has read all the paper work and had told them to go ahead and arrange a date. Because of all the holiday’s of late there have been no court managers working and apparently it is them who have to make the dates, so hopefully as they will be back next week we should have a date by the end of next week.

Hubby arrived with Munch’s SW, there is not much to sort our really, he is waiting for a date to go to the finance panel for our extra therapy sessions, he is going to make a start on Munch’s later life letter, and has asked us to chase him if we have not got it in a couple of months time. The good news he had was that Munch’s birth mum had requested legal aide to contest the Aoption Order but was refused it on the grounds as she does not have a case.

We drank tea and coffee and munched on lovely cookie until it was time for hubby to go and fetch Munch from school. Hubby said Munch was very quiet on the way home, when he got in he went into talking in a very babyish way, he went up to his room and was fake crying and making very load noises, he behaved in a way he had never behaved before when his SW has been here, he did eventually calm a little and came down and played with his football in the garden, he flatly refused to engage with his SW, and would not say good-bye when the time came.

We did get him to come in and we gave his SW a couple of bottles of wine and a thank-you card, we thanked him for allowing us to be the parents to as far as we are concerned the best little boy in the world, he also said, that he feels that this placement was one of the best decision’s that he has made. He said good bye to Munch and for him to have a very good life and off he went with hubby, Munch did say good-bye as they left.

Me and Munch went up to his bedroom and had a little sing and ance around his bedroom, and I saw one of the biggest grins I have ever seen on his face, finally after almost 7 years of his little life, he is SW free!!!!

The rest of the evening went by nicely, we had tea went to Karate where Munch really concentrated well, home and TV before bed. (Lots of calling down as usual)

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