First Ever Proper Hug!

We had a bit of a lay in this morning as we did not have such an early start, morning went well, Munch even went upstairs, did teeth and dressed himself on his own, and was very pleased with himself to.

He had a very good session with the play therapist, he chose to make bead necklaces, all of which represented his time here. The PT said that he was like a different child today, he worked well with her, he was able to accept things like praise, we then had our session, which was just a general catch up really. So all in all very good, we did the questionnaire we did before we started play therapy which showed the improvement we have made.

Daddy picked Munch up from school today and I nipped to the shop at the same time, they were back before me and as I walked through the door Munch shouted mummy’s home and threw himself at me and gave me the biggest cuddle, what a break through, things that other families so take for grant, something I have never had in the 10 months Munch has been home, a proper heart-felt hug, I could have cried right then, but I managed not to which is good for me.

Daddy took charge of our home from school routine, and boy could you tell it was a rare thing for daddy to do, Munch decided he wasn’t getting changed, so daddy let him stay in his school cloths, I did not interfere because Munch would have jumped on that immediately, then reading, Munch was like he used to be with me and still does occasionally, mumbling, missing lines out, not knowing easy words, daddy just said finish that page, much to Munch’s puzzlement, daddy then wrote in Munch’s reading diary that he had been uncooperative and not read well, Munch really does not like this, so I am sure next time he is reading with daddy he will remember and read properly.

Daddy took the dog for his evening walk, Munch was going to go on his bike, but at the last-minute decided not to, I was busy doing dinner so Munch sat drawing at the kitchen table, we were talking and Munch decided to speak rudely to me, usual speech and step, MUnch pushed me on the way to the step, so I told him firmly that I would not be pushed and for him to go to his room, he said he would not, I said fine, which I think confused him because he immediately said ok then and off he went. He called down to ask how long he had to stay there, until dinner time said I, could he go in our room asked him, no said I and he stayed up till dinner time.

After dinner Munch and daddy went to the shop’s to get Munch’s crisp’s for film club tomorrow, once back Munch went on the computer until it was time for Beaver’s. Afterwards it was supper and bed yet another lovely hug and goodnight kisses, and a very happy mummy.

Tonight I have been colouring the grey roots!! Munch was talking to me as I was doing it, he asked to sleep in our bed, no was my answer, but mummy said Munch, it would be much better for the environment, he does make me laugh sometimes.

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20/11-Becoming Clingy

Munch woke up very early calling out to me so I went into him, he said that he was scared, I just soothed him and said that he was ok and he went back of to sleep, at 8.15 he came into our room saying that it was 9 o’clock. I got up been as I was awake, and had strong words with him about coming in before he is supposed to, and about not telling the truth about the time.

We had breakfast and then went to get dressed, whilst on the stairs Munch pushed me, something he does often, so was usual body language all wrong, not allowed, step. Afterwards I went to get ready with Munch 2 steps behind, I realised then how Munch is following me everywhere, and has been doing it for a while now, I cannot even go to the loo these day’s without a shadow.

We went and did a bit of shopping and Munch was well-behaved through out, he bought some sweets with his pocket-money and was very pleased that he had £2.11 left to add to next weeks pocket-money.

When we got home I got on with hing’s in the kitchen and Munch went into the living room with daddy, I was listening to him talking to daddy, he was telling daddy that mummy was weird, one of his favorite words at the moment, and he then said “you’re a jealous daddy”, so daddy said “am I, what am I jealous of”, “me” said Munch, “oh I am, am I” said daddy “yes, you want to be me” said Munch, that made me giggle, so funny what goes through their little minds.

Daddy and Munch then played at being spy’s for a while, Munch was playing really nicely, he had a little book he was writing his spy rules in and was in great spirits, then whilst playing he deliberately hit daddy across his face right on his glasses, usual speech, step. Once time was over he just went and lay on the sofa with his head on daddies lap.

After dinner Munch went on he computer, but again since daddy had gone to work, wherever I went, so did Munch. We then sat down and watched Polar Express, such a lovely film, and for the 1st time since our Intro’s Munch snuggled right up to me and we had a lovely couple of hours doing one of the things I had dreamed about doing whilst going through the adoption process, for me a priceless moment.

Afterwards, he went back on the computer for a short time, but the computer was playing up so he was making funny noises and creating. Then he wanted the toilet and would not go on his own he was crying and saying he was scared to go on his own, no tears I might add, I did not want him to think that if he made a fuss he got his own way so I refused to go with him, so he did eventually go on his own.

I was time for Merlin, he watch’s this every Saturday, he did at 1st lay on the sofa as usual, then came and sat on the arm of the chair I was sitting in, saying he was scared on his own!!

Bedtime routine was as usual, story, snuggle time and cream, followed by lights out.

Early Awakening

Munch came into our room at 3am this morning saying that he could not sleep, I was saying to him, come on I’ll come back with you, but I only got to the come on and he shot up the bed and in between us quicker than Linford Christie in one of his races. Ok, next time I will choose my words more carefully!! Well for an hour he wriggled and wriggled, in the end I told him I was going to the toilet and went into the spare bedroom. He then went to sleep, he got up and went to the toilet just before the alarm was due to go off, he looked at me and said I’m not getting up yet and off back to my spot in the bed he went!!

When I dropped him at school I had a word with the head teacher who again said, no he did not start yesterday’s nose bleed, obviously not listening to anything that I had to say. Oh well.

Picked Munch up from school, on the way to the car he was deliberately trying to trip me up, asked to stop, he carried on so usual spiel, step when you get in, this just made him do it all the more!!!

At home he went straight on the step, then upstairs to get changed, then we went straight to his Express It! group. On the way I warned him that if I had to speak to him once about his behaviour we would leave, something must have got through because we has a good time at the group.

At home we did his reading, another book he has had before and that is far to easy for him, so strong words were written in the reading diary, next we did his book work, then his homework, and lastly his spellings. Munch was told to choose something to do whilst I was preparing dinner, Munch had lost the use of the computer tonight for not listening and stringing out what he was doing the night before on there at bathtime, so he chose to get his pool game out, as things where not happening as he wanted to Munch started hitting himself about the head, I said for him to stay calm, think about what he was doing then when he though that he could manage it to try again, he was very upset about that and talked very rudely to me so, spiel again, step. Munch was not happy with this and threw the chairs on the floor in the kitchen and deliberately punched me, once off the step he was rude again, so back to the step he went, this time quietly and sat and did his time well. Once off, he played with his pool game nicely until dinner time. As dinner was a bit later it was straight in the bath, his bedtime routine went well tonight.

SW’s Visit – 17/11

We had a good morning today, I had told Munch the previous evening that his SW was visiting today as it ment that he was unable to stay to film club after school. We had stopped telling him before his SW visited and we normally only tell him now when we pick him up from school when his SW is already here as the first couple of times he visited Munch was awake all night before with pains in his legs. Munch had slept all night so that was good.

We were not only having a visit from Munch’s SW but our SW was coming to as we have our 4th review next week, our SW was coming a bit before so that we could discuss anything we needed to before Munch’s SW arrived. In the mean time we received a phone call from Munch’s school to say that he had really bad nose bleed and what should they do!!!! I explained to them that his was one of Munch’s big trick’s when he is stress about anything, when he was 1st here we used to get up to his bedroom wall looking like a massacure had taken part in his bedroom, he would plaster his walls by his bed in blood, I was a bit annoyed, the fact that we had no leg pains last night, it was his way of showing his stress, person who I was talking to went and spoke to person dealing with Munch and came back and said, no he had not made I bleed himself, to which I said that he is very clever in how he does it,  I have seen him make it pour in front of me on more han one occasions when he has not been able to deal with a situation. They asked me what I wanted to do, he is at school with you what do you want me to do!!!!! Person said that they would speak to the head teacher and phone back, by now Munch’s SW had phoned early to say that he was at the station, so off when daddy to pick him up, our SW then turned up, so not much time to talk to her about anything before the other one turned up, and then the head teacher phoned to say that Munch was looking very pale  so it would be best if we picked him up, this I was not pleased with as giving Munch’s track record I have visions of a nose bleed every time something is happening he is not keen on at school. I told her that I was just waiting for the SW to turn up and we would be there when we could. We took the opportunity to have 10 minutes all together when daddy and SW got back then daddy went and fetched Munch.

Before fetching Munch we managed to talk about his SW applying for more funding for he play therapy and us having our papers ready so that everyone in agreement we can put our papers in to court he very next day, yipee!!!!

Munch and daddy turned up, Munch looked far from pale and put on a great show with his pool table, wanted to wash his nose asap, which they had not been willing to do a school. One very happy to be home child, able to listen to everything that was being said. The good thing that came out of it was that, Munch having been seen by his SW,  off when said SW nice and early, he had booked into a hotel for the night as he always does, so was having a nice early finish.

Sw’s gone, Munch wanted to play with his Lego with daddy, he was very obviously on a Knife edge though after the visit and some of our biggest meltdowns have been post SW visits, he was in one of his contrary moods, and it was obvious that it did not mater what anybody did it was going to be wrong, in the end I just said you are being very rude all the time, it is not allowed, step. He was not happy, banged on the door, made lots of noise for he 1st couple of minutes then just sat on the step. This seemed to regulate him though and he and daddy had a great time with the Lego up until dinner.

After his bath Munch was allowed to have his supper and drink in the living room whilst watching TV for a one-off. Upstairs straight after for story, but Munch, kept interupting and messing around so story book got put away, we then did snuggle time, but when time was up he would not move hen was very hyper and I had to leave the room with hug or kiss, just I good night, I waited for it and a few minutes later got he call fo a hug and a kiss, which I went up and we had. Quiet at last.

Switching on The Christmas Lights

The day started of well, the play therapist came and her thing, I could hear them in the living room and thing’s seemed a lot calmer than they had been the week before, when finished daddy took Munch to school and we had our usual catch up, this week we talked a lot about helping him to manage things.

I picked Munch up from school and we went straight to our local shopping centre where they were having the grand switching on of the christmas lights. This was something out of the norm for Munch and when we arrived he found it very difficult to cope with, he did his usual thing when he feels out of control, he wanted to go home, then he didn’t, we were going to eat he didn’t want to then he did, he moaned about the restaurants, so I took control and told him that if he was unable to cope we would go home we would not spend all evening with him being as awkward as he could, so I just said to the car now, and marched him back to the car, all the way protested that he didn’t want to go home, I did not respond, I just kep going until we got to the car, opened the door and told him to get in, once he was in, I spoke to him and said that his behaviour that he had been displaying was not allowed and he could decide now whether he wanted to carry on or if he could stop we would go and see the lights, if he decided to stay, if I had to speak to him once more we would go straight home no second chance, he chose to stay, and I think this help him to regulate himself as we had a couple of little moans, but nothing major.

We went to Frankie and Benny’s to eat Munch’s choice, read him the kids menu, don’t know why really as he chose the Spag bol, he always does. Once we had eaten we went to the market square where the events were happening, we had a look around the few stalls, Munch wanted a Santa Claus hat which he wore with pride all night, I said that he could choose something of the toy stall and he chose a mini pool table. We then went to watch what was happening on the stage, we watched some dancer’s, then Hagrid, Dumbldore and Harry Potter made an appearance, Munch was enjoying this until the sound went and he got bored so another walk around the stalls, he had a ride on one of the little ride’s, but I think after riding of the rides he went on a Chessington that Ithink he found them a bit tame. We bought some sweets to eat on the way back to the stage, there was a couple of singer’s, so we had a bit of a dance and sing along, hen Santa, Rudolf and Jack Frost came along and did a bit on stage, towards the end of their bit I think MUnch was getting a bit bored and asked if we could go, but as thee was only about 5 or 10 minutes until the switch on I said we should stay, we joined in the big count down and on came the few light bulbs, there was a lovely firework display which Munch enjoyed, then it was back with the crowds to the car, As we were walking back and we were looking at the lights Munch said “see mummy, I told you they were going o be rubbish” and he wasn’t far of the mark.

Once home Munch wanted to play a game of pool whilst having his supper which we did, the pool game was absolute market rubbish, but Munch really enjoyed it so that was the main thing. Game went on till after bedtime, so straight up, teeth and bed, we had a hug and kiss good-night, when kissing  Munch, I smothered his face all over and kept going, he was really giggling, when we said good nigh he said “that was great fun”. Later on when I looked in on him, Munch was fast asleep wearing his Claus hat, looking even cuter, if that’s possible, than ever.

 

So Begin’s The Week

This morning Munch was still asleep when I go up so I left him in bed for a while. The morning was very pleasant and we got to school all in good spirits.

After school we once home we did Munch’s reading, he was not in a cooperative mood, so I told him to read it as he wanted to and that I would just write in the book how he had read, he was mumbling his words, saying them very quietly, missing out whole lines and making out he was unable to read some words that I know he know’s, I just did not rise to it and told him again what I was going to write, half way through, he gave up and read well, no point not reading well when it is not getting you the attention he wants. I wrote what I said I was going to in his book, which will be a good deterrent in future as he does not like to look bad at school. Reading finished we did some subtraction’s which he did well and some spelling’s which I myself have decided to start doing with him as his spelling is appalling and I feel that he needs help, so I am going to start off with 5 words a week and see how we go.

Once all that was out-of-the-way we did Munch’s special time play, this is where we play what Munch wants to  do, and I do what he wants, he is totally in control, the theory is if we give him this time of control, he will feel less like he has to try to take control at other times. I had on the request of the play therapist I had bought Munch a tube of Lego today to add to his already very large collection of Lego, Munch had spotted this so wanted to play with it, I took my lead from him and built what he asked me to, whilst building himself, he kept getting very annoyed with himself when things were not going as he wanted them to, he started hitting himself and saying he was an idiot, I kept saying to him he was doing really well, that the good thing about Lego was that if it was not right you can change it and build it stronger, we had a few episode, but with lots of reassurance he got through them, they were all direct at himself. When we had finished he carried on playing with the Lego on his own.

Tea, bath, and bedtime routine went well, I sat on Munch’s bed and he cuddled in whilst having his story and he asked for 5 minutes snuggle time afterwards which I gladly did, we did our cream after that, lots of massaging in his cream, lovely hug and kisses, wow, lots of positive touch this evening, and one happy mummy.

Best laid Plan’s…..

Munch was very good this morning and stayed in bed watching his TV until I went in to him at 9am. We came down and watched a bit more TV whilst having breakfast.

By the time breakfast was finished daddy was awake so Munch went up to see him, in the mean time I had told Munch my plan’s to either go to Madame Tussaud’s or to  the Science Museum. Munch said that he wanted to do neither, he wanted to go swimming, I did not fancy it as last time we went it was freezing. Daddy said that he would take him and go into work later on, one happy mummy.

For a while daddy and Munch played a bit of rough and tumble in the living room, Munch is very toddler like sometimes in his play as this is yet another of the area’s that he missed out in his early years. Trouble is whilst it is good to regress with him, it can be hard to keep him in check and very easy for him to go over the top and find it hard to calm himself down again, he was asked several times to calm a little before he hurt himself or daddy, twice he went slap on the floor, the 2nd time he did hurt himself. He would not take any form of soothing or help, this is another of the area’s that need’s a lot of work on, he is unable to accept comfort at all and it is so hard to see when you desperately want to help make it better, and just scoop him up and give him a great big cuddle, maybe one day.

We all got ready and I went along to watch, Munch is coming along so well with his swimming now and for the first time managed to swim a bit with out his armbands, when I think of all the money we spent on swimming lesson’s for 20 weeks when he first came, they were such a waste off money, he has come on so much better with us taking him ourselves. I just love watching him in the pool, he is so confident in the water and given half a chance would spend all day in there if he could.

We went to the pool cafe and ate afterwards. There was  some sort of Karate competition being help at the sports centre and Munch kept saying that he wants to do it and could we find out about it for him. All the way home he kept asking, we had already said that we would, daddy and I were talking and all of a sudden, I had 2 big kicks in the back of the chair, I gave the body language is all wrong, that not allowed, step as soon as we get in, just for a very cocky little boy to say but I was trying to speak to you, that’s not the way to go about getting my attention!!

Home 7 minutes on the step done and Munch practiced his magic on daddy until it was time for us to take daddy to pick up his taxi. On the way back we stopped in the shops to pick up a few bits and pieces, Munch managed to speak in a rude voice again so ended up on the step as soon as we got in.

After that we settled down to a quiet couple of hours before bed, we watched The Nightmare before Christmas, then Munch found a Scooby Doo film, this took him up to bedtime, so he was let of his bath fo 1 night.

Munch was in desperate need of his toe nails to be cut, we have done them a few times since he has been here without a fuss, I have tried to do them a few times of late, and every time he has made a fuss and not let me, I can see that it is a control issue, and again tonight we had the same issue, it was definitely him trying to control what was happening, but his toe nails have now got so long that they really needed doing, he would not let me snacking his foot away every time I went to clip. This went on until I have to say that I lost it with him, it was such a silly thing to loss it over, but knowing that we had done it several times before with out an issue tipped me over the edge, I left them room after shouting at him, said that he would just have to have long toe nails, and when they started to hurt he could go to the doctors. Oh dear, how childish was I, and an issue to talk to the play therapist about Tuesday.

Once downstairs I have to say I shut the living room door and just sat feeling very bad, Munch kept calling but I ignored him until in the end he actually came and stood at the bottom of the stairs, he has never come down once in bed since he has been here. He was crying with real tears, only the second time I have seen him do that as well since he has been here and saying I want a hug and kiss, so I said come on let’s go back to bed, and for the 1st time ever I had a big proper hug, where he hugged me back as well, I kissed him on the head with out him, yelling get off, what a break though!!

I said what a silly pickle we have got ourselves into over a couple of toe nails, he let me cut them and we had another cuddle and kiss good-night. It was like afterwards he decided that he liked the hugs as he called down saying he felt poorly and needed a hug again, which I did, in the end he has ended up in mummy and daddy’s bed, but we will be putting him back in his own bed when we go up.

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