1st Half Term in Juniors.

Can you believe we are at the half term mark already!!

Well not such a successful 1st half term in the Junior’s for Munch. There has not been a week when I have not been called aside by his teacher because of his behaviour at break times. Time and time I have tried to explain why he is unable to manage the unstructured time but it seems to be falling on deaf ears. I have tried putting the ball in the court and asking what they are going to do to help him manage this time, and it also feels like he is beginning to become a bit of a scape-goat – all ready labelled so lets blame him.

Anyway after yet another incident on the last day of the half term, I have said that I want a meeting. I have been busy downloading and print stuff of the Internet about attachment and have been tying to strengthen my knowledge and understanding of how Munch’s past life experiences have affected him. I have made 2 copies of everything I have printed off and intend to take in the extra copy to the school and ask the teacher to read it. I have also order Inside I’m Hurting:  Practical  Strategies for Supporting Children with Attachment Difficulties in Schools by Louise Bomber which has been dispatched today, so hoping it will come tomorrow so it will give me a while to read it and take what I need out of it before I meet h his teacher.

Work wise he is doing really well though and Munch himself is really enjoying as he puts it the harder work that they do in the Junior’s. He also gets on well with his homework which I though we might have a problem with but a the moment he is enjoying doing it.

On Friday we also received a letter from the family therapist at CAMHS, Munch’s case had been reviewed and it was decided that he needed to have Child Psychotherapy, they have a long waiting list though so were unable to accept him onto it!!!! We have an appointment to meet with the family therapist next month to discuss what we want to do, she did not fill me with confidence that last time, so some more work to do there I intend to write every thing down before I go so that I do not get all tongue tied and let them fob me off.

Munch is doing a weeks Karate School this week, he is still doing very well with his Karate, even after the set back of breaking his arm over the summer. And on the subject of that, last week at school he fell and has really hurt it again, we went to A & E and it was x-rayed, the registrar came and looked at the x-ray and said it was fine, just to come back for an outpatients appointment in 2 weeks, a week on though he is still unable to move it properly and is still in pain, so we have a doctor’s appointment for the morning.

Last thing, tomorrow is the day of the team meeting where they will discuss whether we will be accepted onto the books so to speak of the LA on the road to no. 2, fingers crossed +++++++

Initial SW Visit For No. 2.

We had our initial visit yesterday on the way now hopefully for number two.

We talked generally about how things were going with Munch,  how our lives had changed, how we have dealt with things. We discussed how we thought that Munch would deal with a new addition, the SW filled in all the bits she needed to.

We then discussed what we would be looking for in our 2nd child, an why, we have said that to take out any rivalry we would prefer a girl this time, we have also said between 3 and 6 years old. There were things like contact as well to be taken into consideration, we were very open to direct contact last time, but as Munch only has letterbox we feel that it would be total unfair to him to have a sibling who had direct contact with BF, and would open up a whole new can of worms, so have said that it’s a no to direct contact.

The next step is that the SW has to take it to the next team meeting, she has said that she cannot see any problem with us being accepted, after that she is looking at doing a couple of long sessions, and a couple of Saturday sessions so that Munch can be included and  these 4 visits should be more than enough to update our previous PAR. She has asked that we use my mum as 1 of our references so that she can come and see here when she is visiting over Christmas and that we should get to panel in the New Year, so all sounding positive.

10 Days Since……….

Well as you can see I have a new ticker, I have decided to rather than  have two blogs, that I will keep them together.

We are finally on our way to hopefully having a brother or sister for Munch, we had spoken to our 1st SW before the summer holiday’s about sarting the process again and she agreed to come out and see us. We asked to have the summer holiday’s 1st and she was on holiday for the 2nd week of September, then on the 23rd September we received the phone call from her to set up an initial visit.

It was initially set up for 12th October, but she phoned a couple of day’s ago to change it to the 14th which worked out well as we then received a hosital appointment for Munch on the 12th and at the same time so we would have had to change anyway. She is going to bring all the official paper work with her, so another watch this space!!!!


	

Where did the 6 week summer Hols go!!!

Well I cannot believe that the 6 week school summer holiday’s has been and gone already and my Munch is now in the Junior School.

Our holiday started well we had a week at home before we went away with Granny and his big cousin to Butlins for a 4 night break from the Monday to the Friday night. We travelled down to my brother and sister-in-laws on the Sunday night and had a night there before leaving early on the Monday. We stopped for breakfast on the way which all enjoyed. My niece brought one of her CD’s with us and we played it all they way there, the look on Munch’s face as we all sang along to he song’s in the car was a picture.

We had a lovely week, Munch as usual was a bit of a handful and needed some reigning in on times, but on he whole was good. One of the funny thing’s when we were there was that he got himself a girlfriend!! He never got to know her name though!!

The following week we met his Foster Carer’s at a restaurant with a play area attached, we were happy to be doing it as we feel it is very important for Munch to see that there are still people in his life that care, but we were also well aware that it was what triggered his realisation last year that we were his family and our honeymoon period came to an abrupt halt.  We had a lovely few hours with them, they are at present fostering 3 children so Munch enjoyed having other children to play with, they had a couple of hours in the play room and as it was nice they were also able to play on the outdoor play area.  The time went very quickly and before we knew it the time was getting on and as we all had a couple of hours drive home it was time to leave. We all agreed to met again and said our goodbye’s.

We had a bit of a detour on the way home and finally arrived home quite late, Munch played with his football for a little while outside until he fell and banged his arm on the wall, he must have hurt himself because he actually came to me and cuddled in. I looked at his arm, there was no marks or swelling even though he said it hurt to turn his hand, and off he went to bed.

Next morning when Munch got up he said that it was still hurting to turn his hand, again I checked it but no visible signs of  anything wrong and off he went playing in the garden whilst daddy was tidying the garden, after a little while he went on his trampoline he was bouncing away and did a handstand and his arm just gave way and he collapsed in a heap on the trampoline. I was sitting in the kitchen and  heard his bone crack from where I was . Munch was very good he was upset and must have been in so much pain, his arm was bent. I have never got dressed so quick in my life and we were in daddy’s taxi and on the way to the hospital within 5 minutes.

The hospital was very busy he was taken straight into children’s A and E but we did have to wait a while until the doctor was able to see him, the x-ray showed that he had broken both the bones in the front of his arm. In the end a nurse came and said that she was going to put a temporary cast on it as he must be in a lot of pain, they also gave him morphine for the pain. Eventually the doctor was able to come and said that it would need pinning so we had to stay in overnight so that Munch could go to theatre in the morning.

Munch thoroughly enjoyed the attention over the 2 day’s, I have never seen anyone look so pleased to be going down to theatre the next morning, different story when it came to them putting in a cannula though!!! Once his am had been set we were allowed home later that day.

The broken arm put pay to a lot of our plans and we were limited to what we could do for the rest of the holidays.

We had a great weekend camping with other adoptive families, it truly was a great experience, it was good to see that Munch was not on his own in some of his behaviours, it was great that when he did have his moments, I id not feel like all eyes were on us, I cannot recommend these holiday’s enough to adoptive families.

We had a week camping booked for the last week of the holiday but as the weather was a bit unpredictable and the site we had booked onto had terrible reviews, when Munch asked when were we going to stay at granny’s again we gave him the choice of the camping holiday or going to granny’s, he choose granny’s, so me and him went to granny’s for the week instead.

It worked out well, it took his mind off going back to school the next we, we all ha a lovely time, his behaviour was getting a little anxious and at times he was very trying, but looking back to the same period last year it is hard to believe the progress we have made in the last 12 months.

So he has now been back at school for 3 weeks and he is loving it, he likes the harder work, he at the moment is even enjoying his homework so lets hope that continue’s, we have had a problem with him fining it hard to manage the freedom of dinner times and has been getting himself into trouble and getting a lot of detention. I have spoken to his teacher and as firmly as I can have put the ball in their court, I have said as much as we can talk to him about it we are not there and that they have a care of duty, what can they do to help him manage his time, whilst he is coming across as very cocky and confident it is his way of hiding the fact that he is very scared and thinks that nobody likes him, that he is not good, so I have said that whilst I know that his behaviour has to be dealt with I am not happy with him constantly getting detention as this will just re-enforce his image of himself, so I will give it a week then ask to speak to her again to be updated on what THEY are doing.

Our Celebrations

Well a lot has happened in adoption term’s since I last posted, we had a great week a couple of weeks ago, it started with a great Celebration Hearing at our local County Court, Granny, Grampy, Auntie, Uncle, big cousin and our SW all attended with us. The look of pure joy on Munch’s face when he received his Certificate will stay with me for ever and boy did that certificate take some getting off him!!!!

Afterwards we all apart from our SW who had another meeting to attend, took the train into London and had a lovely meal in The Rainforest Cafe. On entering they asked if we were celebrating anything special, when we said it was Munch’s Adoption day they gave him a Happy Birthday Sticker!!! He was happy enough with it though.

The following day his class held a party for him, he had a ball, me and my mum took in some picky party food bits, they gave him a fabulous card that had lile individual cards of each child in his class, and also all the teachers had written in it to, he was happy to see that the head mistress had written in it as well. Some of the messages that the children had written were fab, our favorite by far really made us laugh, one of the girls ha wrote, Dear Munch – I hope your 2nd mum and dad come through!!!! Out of the moths of children… I also got asked one morning by another little girl was I Munch’s new parent. A few of te parents actually spoke to me too, it’s only taken them 18 months!!!

On the Saturday we had a big BBQ for all our family and friends, and it was lovely how many people came to help us celebrate, Munch and we had some lovely present’s which were not expecting, we had a Bouncy Castle for the kids, my mum and I did a big buffet, the BBQ was on the go all afternoon and on into the early evening, we had lots of people dropping in during the day and the last people left at almost mid-night, Munch handled the day wonderfully we had a few moments, but our boy is getting there a couple of times he took himself off to his bedroom to have a ‘cool down’.

We have had another session with CAMHS, our 4th one, this one was with Munch, so now the family therapist will be making her recommendation’s so we will just have to wait now.

Munch has now earned his orange belt at karate, and is doing really well.

At school we had his sat results, he got significantly above his age for maths and science, and above average for his age in all other subjects apart from his writing, but that has so improved from how it used to be so we could not be prouder of our boy. The school once again have been fantastic in helping his transition from them to Junior School in September, they have done extra visit’s with him and one of the TA’s took him over with a camera and they took lots of pictures of the school and teachers and today he brought home a little book he had made with all the photo’s in so that he can look at it over the 6 weeks. We are just hoping that the Junior school is going to be so on the ball regarding his needs as the Infants have been.

Our last bit of adoption related news is that we have started the ball rolling for number two this week, we have spoken with our original SW who left just after Munch was placed and she is coming for an initial informal meeting in September as we wanted to get the 6 weeks over with 1st.

Catch Up

Well I thought it was about time a did a bit of catching up.

We had our appointment with the family therapist at CAMHS, we did our initial appointment with Munch, then me and hubby went back the next day as they had a cancellation and we were offered the extra appointment as the therapist though we had a lot to cover, we also have another appointment just for me and hubby next week. We were asked if we would like a carer’s assessment to which we said yes, so after our next appointment it will be taken to their next meeting to decide where we go from here.

In the mean time we received a phone call from Munch’s ex-SW, feels goo to be able to say that, saying that his LA had agreed to fund 4 extra play therapy session’s so we just need to contact the play therapist now.

Granny has been to stay for a week, so good times were had there and a few late nights!!!

This week they have had an international week at school and they have been going into different classes all week this has had a very unsettling effect on Munch, because as we know change is very scary for our children, we had been noticing it at home that his behaviour was beginning to get very controlling again, then there was an incident in the school play ground, but the school have put more structure into his lunch break which has helped him feel more contained .

Lastly today we have a poorly boy who as spent most of the day in bed!!! He has vomited a couple of times, and is generally feeling under the weather, but on the plus side he has let me be his mummy today, I have been able to cuddle him and sooth him. Hope he is feeling better tomorrow though.

We Told Munch.

Well in the end we told Munch that our Adoption Order had been granted. In the few day’s afterward it was granted his behaviour was deteriorating and we felt it was because he knew something was going on, he was being very rude in the way he spoke to us, was trying to control everything and then after being rude over the weekend and being sent to do his time out on the step, he very calmly walked up to me pushed me really hard and pulled hard on my hair, so after talking with hubby we decided to tell him.

We sat him down and told him we had some very good news and that we had heard that the judge had now signed our adoption papers and we were now legally a family, we could not have hoped for a better response, Munch was so happy, he said ‘it’s the best day of my life, I have got my adoption papers’, then off he went to play in the garden, just as he was going out of the door though he said ‘actually when we go to Disney World Florida will be the best day of my life’, that’s my boy, gets his priority’s right!!!

Apart from that it has been an uneventful week, Munch was back to school on Tuesday, his last half term in infants before going to junior’s after the summer holiday’s. He is growing quicker than we can keep up with.

One last thing, we finally got an appointment with our local CAHM’s team, which is on Monday so not to long to wait, not to sure what to expect from this so we shall wait and see.

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