Brief update

Well its been a long time since I last posted, things here have been pretty tricky with Munch, we seem to have one very angry boy on our hands at the moment.

We have started ADHD medication which has helped slighly but on the other hand has made his anxieties much worse, his sleeping has suffered a great deal because of the medication also, so he is now having medication to help with his sleeping, we will wait and see how that goes.

On our 2nd adoption front, we have been on hold for a while due to Munch’s extreme behavior, we are hoping to get back on track soon so watch this space……

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Bit of a Catch Up

We have had a fairly good time since the last time I posted, when the play therapist came last Tuesday and she asked how things were, it was good to be able to say good thank-you, funny thing was though is we had loads of thing’s to cover, a lot of it though was the little under lying things that are normally masked by the big issue’s that are going on.

Nanny ended up in hospital last Monday where she still is now, I have finally booked our 4 night holiday to Butlins in August for me, Munch, granny and big cousin which Munch is very excited about.

We have taken Munch to the doctor’s and requested a referral as we feel and the Play Therapist felt that we needed to get Munch assessed to see if he does have ADHD.

We went to Grampy’s for the weekend and had a great weekend apart from Munch being extremely hyper the who time we were there and this has carried on at home for the last 2 day’s also.

We had a Play Therapy visit today, and afterwards whilst doing our session we I asked for her opinion on going in to adopt number 2, I value what she has to say and I wanted to know how she thought it would affect Munch. She brought it more round though to how we would feel, as she said we have a child who has had a very traumatic and abusive past, that from her time working with him, she feels that what we have now is what we have for life, that this is him and we are going to have to work very hard at maintaining this structure for, basically what she was saying was how fair would it be on another child to live how we do, and our PT being very honest, and she is part of the adoption social worker team at our local LA, if she was looking for a family for a child, that we would not be her 1st choice, and I am grateful for her honesty, I had a little cry and felt like crap, the other thing she said is we have to think hard about our fantasy and our reality.

Her advice was to give it at least a year an then think about it then, so we will do just that, and we were not thinking about doing anything till later on in the year anyway.

We ha a bit of a blip this evening when Munch got very wound up about the computer, but I asked him to sit on he sofa and calm down and when he had done that I would come back in to him, 5 minutes later a much calmer Munch, I spoke to him and calm reigned till Beaver’s.

 

Pinocchio and Telling the Truth

This morning started off with Munch coming downstairs and being cross with the dog because she had knocked the Laptop on the floor, once he had picked it up and put it on to make sure it was still working he sat happily playing with his Club Penguin, computer is not normally allowed in the morning but as it was Play Therapy day and we have a later start I left him to it so I could get on.

Then the Play Therapist arrived Munch was up and on the go at 100 miles an hour, he was dragging the poor dog around by her collar, in and out as we were fetching things in, that was until he trip over her and banged his head on the car, he started to hit and kick the dog, I had to pull him away, this was in the living room with the Play Therapist so I left her to him and went in the kitchen.

I think it was then that what had happened last night and with the incident over the weekend caught up with me and I just sat at the kitchen table and cried, I did get myself together though for when they had finished.

Daddy took Munch off to school and I told the Play Therapist about the 2 incidents, Munch today had wanted all of her play equipment out of her car and she said the thing that he had picked to play with was Pinocchio, and they had done a lot of work around telling the truth and his nose growing and they had between them developed a squeaking technic for when Munch was being untruthful, so we are now on a mission to find the little squeaks that you put inside teddy bears so that when he is being untruthful we can squeak at him, she said we are no to say he is lying, but to say that is not real. She also said to make a note of these things, one so that she can see what they are and 2 for our record, I also said that I though it was a good idea to ring Munch’s SW and she said yes to do that and to tell him that we have some strategies in place.

The next thing that I spoke to her about was the comment that had been made to me at the wedding on Saturday when I was asked if Munch had been diagnosed, and before I could say anything she said, with ADHD, I said about reading about it and Munch displaying practically all of the tell-tale sign’s and she said to make an appointment with our GP and say we want referring to a pediatrician who specialises in this field. Like she said ADHD is often be masked by attachment issues. So an appointment has been booked for Friday with he GP.

We talked about getting Pinocchio on DVD, as we said we must have every other Disney DVD bar that one (we had them all way before Munch came along), and also about getting The Boy Who Cried Wolf to read to him, and some sort of children’s programme called if I remember right Jaker’s, which uses morals for the back drop of it’s stories, I will have to do a bit of research about that online.

Munch was in a good mood when I picked him up from school, I had brought him his own mouse for the computer, something we have been going to do since he arrive last year!!!! Better late than never, so after doing his reading he was pleased to use it.

It was then off to gymnastic’s, then home for tea, get ready for Beaver’s and off there, Tuesday’s are busy nights thank goodness his gymnastic’s is only for 5 weeks.

I did phone Munch’s SW but he is off sick so I phoned our SW and filled her in, I am going to email Munch’s SW as soon as I have finished this.

Munch is now tucked up in bed after another performance to cut his toe nails, why do I get so wound up over toe nails!!! Still done now for another little while.

22/1 – Munch’s 1st Wedding.

Today started in the very early hours of the morning when Munch came into the bedroom saying very cheery that he was scared, I went back to his room with him tucked him back in and off he went to sleep. 1/2 hour later in he came again, this time he was crying and what can only be described as howling, he just got into bed with me (daddy still was not home from work) and was shaking his legs saying that they were hurting, I tried rubbing them, but that made him howl more, he then started saying that it was his knee’s, still crying still howling. Then it was his nose, this went on for a good 15 minutes, he kept hitting me and saying my nose, he would take no comfort. In the end I picked him up and carried him back to his room, he was still crying and howling, he was saying my nose, I can’t breath shouting it over and over again, I got him tissues and told him to blow his nose, he just threw them, then he stared throwing his teddies at me, was in full meltdown mode by now, he was shouting get out of my room, but the slightest move even though I was going nowhere, he was yelling no don’t leave me, I just said I am not going anywhere, I am just going to stand here where you can see me, he carried on shouting, crying and howling, but stopped throwing thing or telling me to get out, when he had calmed just a little and was just making a noise, I said right I am going into my room I will come back in 5 minutes. As soon as I left he room he was quiet, I waited for it to start again, but it didn’t, by then though I was unable to get back to sleep as he slightest little thing had me thinking here we go again.

Then hubby came in for work so silly o’clock I ended up getting up and having a cuppa with him, back to bed and I went into the spare room, so I did not have to listen to hubby snoring as I was shattered by then, hubby put the TV on in our room so I could hear the mummering through the wall, and I was just in that state where anything was keeping me awake, after an hour of listening to this I went in to ask him how much TV he was going to watch and he was sound asleep!!!!!

Got up a bit later than intended, we had a Wedding to go to today, it was a 12 noon start and we had a little way to travel, so we spent all morning getting ready. Munch is not good with new situations, so was a little hyper during the morning and me and hubby had discussed that we though we would see how thing’s were going and if we needed to we would leave if it was all getting too much for Munch.

As it was we had a great day, they were all brand new people for Munch as it was a friend I used to work with getting married, it was lovely as there were friends there who we had not seen for years, most of them I keep in touch with through Facebook, but one who I had not seen for a long time, when I was talking to her Munch called me, is he yours she said, yes said I how old is he said she, 7 said I, Oh, I didn’t realise it had been that long since I saw you last said she, he’s only been my son for a year said I, oh said she and off she went looking rather puzzled!!!! A fair bit had been drunk by then.

We were sat on a table with a friend’s of our’s who had moved up North a few years ago, and their 2 children, their daughter was the bridesmaid, and Munch and them were the only children there. Munch was on the whole very good with their 2-year-old and looked after him all day and also got on really well with the daughter who is a year  older than him.

Munch was well-behaved most of the time but was his usual self when in public, on the go all the time, loud in a look at me sort of way and very attention seeking from everyone. I had an interesting conversation with someone who I knew, but not very well, and because we were all siting together picked up on our situation, he asked if I minded him asking if Munch had a diagnosis, no said I like what, he said it’s just that I work with children with ADHD and he display’s a lot of the same characteristic’s, I was not at all offended as I think he though I was going to be, and I would not be at all surprised if Munch had, I read an article the other day which gave pointer’s to look out for and at the time though, oh dear Munch has them all.

We had one mini meltdown by Munch’s standard’s when he was told off by daddy for taking the little one’s balloon’s off him, he was crying and shouting, hitting out, I eventually, got him to come out to a quiet place with me where I spoke to him and calmed him down. We decided to give to stay a little longer to see how he went, and he was as good as gold for the rest of the night, enjoyed the fact he was able to go and get a drink when ever he wanted, he kept asking for a beer every time he went up, and came away with  juice or pop, but 10 out of 10 for persistence. He enjoyed the buffet, he joined in with some of the dancing, and made ever one laugh when at the end of the night after all he buffet had been taken away off he took himself up to the bar and came back with a plate of Chicken Curry!!!

Back at home, I had to rush to the loo and 30 second’s later Munch was behind me saying he was so shattered he just wanted to go to bed, no supper, no nothing, that has never happened before, no matter what with Munch he has alway’s had to have his 4 eat’s as he say’s, typical of a child who has at one time or another been starved, he even had to have supper when we went to my cousin’s 40th Birthday Party and because they put on coach’s we did not get back to granny’s until 2 am, so  for the 1st time ever in over a year he felt safe enough to go to bed with out supper, may not seem anything to most people to us that was such a big step.