A Year Ago Today…..

Well a year ago today we met our wonderful gorgeous Munch for the very 1st time.

2 years and a couple of weeks from filling in a form online requesting information from our Agency Childlink on a night-shift at work our dreams were finally coming true.

Oh what a day that was, and what a rollercoaster of a year we have had.

There have been incredible high’s, and extremely bad low points, but the one thing for sure it is the best thing we have ever done, and we would not change our son for the world.

Looking back on the year, the 1st few months were the most surreal time ever. We played at being a family for a long time, Munch spent the 1st 12 weeks, doing and saying what he thought we wanted him to do, he tried to be very controlling, and it was like living with a stranger. He did thing’s that drove me potty, and even little things annoyed me that ordinarily would not.

I don’t think however much you prepare yourself, the reality of living with a child who has lived with severe trauma in their lives, especially when they do not see it as that as that has been the norm for them for so long is bloody hard work. Also, as much as you read and re-read their CPR’s, listen to everything all the professionals tell you, what their FC’s who know them best at the time they are moving on to you tell you, and you read forum’s on adoption by people who have been and are parenting traumatized children, there is always that small part of you that thinks it’s not going to be like that for you and your family.

12 weeks in we met with the FC’s, we were not able to do it sooner because of personal reason’s on the FC’s part, it was like a light when on in Munch’s head that this was it he was not going back, and things changed for the worst, we had terrible meltdowns that got longer and longer and more frequent, till they were lasting for hours and on a daily basis. I have been hit and kicked, had cloths ripped, been spat at, the language was very blue.

Afterwards he would be so ashamed of himself and would claw at his face, hit himself and call himself all sorts of names, it was horrible to see, and all this time we could not touch him, he would scream if we did, so we had non of the hugs and kisses that you dream of giving your children.

Munch and hubby clashed dreadfully and I felt like I could not leave them alone together, 3 times hubby walked out and said he was not coming back.

In July when Munch’s LA were expecting us to put in for our Adoption Order at our 3 review, we refused to do it, what we said was that we were 110% behind Munch, so were there fore sore it as our duty to him to fight to get him the help he needed.

In September, we started Play Therapy with a lady who worked for our local LA and has she been a godsend to us, she has changed our lives around, yes we have still had our problem’s, and when I child has had such a difficult start in life as our son had, we know we can never ever take away his past and that we can expect to have times which will be hard we are so thankful for what she has done for our family.

So into our 2nd year as a family we go and we could not be happier, I now love listening to Munch and daddy together, it has been a long hard slog, but I am so looking forward to our future together.