23/12 – The Two Santa’s.

This morning I woke up at 9am, I went into Munch’s room he was awake with the light on but just laying in bed. The 1st thing he said to me was “can you pass me my hair please”. He wanted his Halloween wig, and wore it for most of the morning. He asked to split his hour of computer into 2 1/2’s again, so had sometime playing club penguin.

Munch played for a while in his room before it was time for us to go to the Christmas party at the Children’s Centre across the road. Munch had a great time whilst there, he alway’s make’s friends easily and I had a nice easy time as he was off playing and eating.

Half way through the party, it was time to sit on the mat’s in a big circle for a Christmas Story and then they all had to make lots of noise to let Santa know they were there, what Munch didn’t know was that daddy was playing the part of santa.

Santa knocked on the door and above 30 other children all you could hear was Munch shouting, it’s santa. it’s santa!! We were worried that he would clock straight away that it was daddy, but he didn’t. He just sat scowling at Santa and when he though nobody was looking, he had a big beaming smile on his face. Munch still finds it really hard to accept anything good happening to him. We were sitting at the side of santa and you could see the elastic of the beard, so Munch kept saying, he’s fake. I just said that Santa was very busy and so he had some helper santa’s, he excepted this readily, and never once did he think it was daddy, not even when his little friend shouted “Santa’s got tattoo’s” as hubby has a tattoo on his wrist.

Afterwards, we hung around to say our goodbyes and Merry Christmas’s to the staff, so daddy had time to get home and be sitting at the table drinking tea by the time we got home, Munch was full of tales, of ‘fake’ santa’s and tattoo’s, oh to be so innocent again.

We had an hour at home before heading off to visit Santa again at a local shopping Centre, I had booked this long before I knew about the Children’s Centre Party or I would not have booked them together, we arrived just in time for our slot, so me and Munch jumped out of the car and run in to find Santa’s Grotto, daddy made it in just in time to come in. This Santa was lovely, he asked Munch what he wanted for christmas, I was waiting for the usual EVERYTHING, when Munch answered a watch, I think Santa saw the look of horror on my face, oh said he a watch, yes said Munch, a watch that is like a watch but not a watch!!!

Out we came and photo’s, key rings and fridge magnets all bought. Munch was so excited because that one was the REAL SANTA.

We had a very health Macdonald’s for tea, before heading home. In the car Munch was so tired he was falling asleep even though it was a good hour before his bedtime. Once home we sat at the kitchen table for supper and Munch decided he wanted to write his list for Santa!! 2 days before Christmas, we have been asking him to do one for weeks and weeks and he has refused and because of things from his past we have not pushed it. Anyway he wrote his list, we just kept saying it was to give Santa an idea, but he had to remember that there was only 2 days to go.

On his list he had a real parrot, with a cage, a puppy dog of his own, 2 things santa just can’t get at such short notice. Thank goodness the X Box was on there. He also added a letter which read – Dear Santa, I have been a very good boy and I listen to my mum and dad , love Munch xxx – the I listen to my mum and dad had come from a video message we had done for him from Santa earlier in the week were Santa asked Munch to listen to his mum and dad.

The letter was placed under the tree for the elves to fetch and off to bed it was, story was frantic, he was unable to kep still during snuggle time and wanted his cream, but just messed around whist he was having it so I stopped, he was being very hyper and messing around so I just left the room and went down stairs. I knew it would not be long before he called down as he will not sleep if things are left on a bad foot, 5 minutes later, mummy I need water, told him I had done his water, said good-night, love you, to which he said the same and peace reigned.

Me and hubby got all the presents wrapped, at 10.30pm I went to Tesco’s, what we have not got now we will have to go with out, once home a couple of glasses of Bailey’s were drunk, before we went to bed.

 

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17/12 – Lets try and Wind Mummy Up!

This morning when I went into Munch’s room, the light was on, he was in bed making out to be asleep but he had a huge grin on his face. I played along and pretended to wake him up, I said I was going down to put on his toast, he said he wanted a lay in, so downstairs I went and put on his toast. Munch called downstairs to say he only wanted one piece, so I just did him one piece, when he came down he said he didn’t wan any breakfast, I could just see by the look on his face what sort of mood he was in and I was not playing, ok don’t eat it if you don’t want to, and he started eating, can I have a yogurt instead he asked, ok said I and got 1 out, look of shock on his face, no I don’t want it now he say’s, ok say’s I and put it back. I’m going to give my toast to the dog say’s he, ok say’s I, Munch ate his toast. Upstairs we went to get ready, I’m not brushing my teeth say’s he, ok say’s I and put his tooth-brush on the sink, he brushed his teeth, I’m not having a wash say’s he, ok say’s I and walked away, he washed. After that he I realised that he just was getting now where and gave up.

It had snowed a little the day before so when we went out to the car, 1st we could not open the doors as they were frozen, then when we finally managed to get in, the windscreen was so icy that the de-icer was not de-icing. I did what I could and just had to put the heater on the window and wha for it to get to work, so despite having left early we ended up a few minutes late.

Me and daddy went off to by a Santa suit in the afternoon as hubby is playing Santa Claus on Thursday at the Children’s Centre’s Christmas Party as their original Santa had let them down and they could not find anyone else to do it, we said that we would provide the suit as they have done so much for us and helped our little one no end over the last 12 months.

Picked Munch up, at home we sat for a good 2 hours making up the Lego figures, that he had received of Grampy in the post today, he still finds it very hard to receive anything and did his usual of saying it was rubbish, I know that this is a defence mechanism kicking in on his part, but it really is staring to grate on me, I cannot bare un-gratefulness. So have said that I am going to tell people to stop sending him things.

After that he had his computer time whilst I cooked a lovely Nigella Lawson Cheese Risotto, then it was bath, TV, supper and bed.

Ouch, That Hurt.

This morning was a much better start to the day than yesterday, Munch came knocking on the door again asking when were we getting up, this needs to be nipped in the bud, so he will be being informed that there will be no TV on school mornings when he does it, I know his answer will be that it doesn’t matter, but a couple of mornings of having to sit at the kitchen table will soon have the desired effect.

Although Munch was lively this morning, the mood that he was in yesterday had definitely lifted thank goodness, as it used to be that type of mood that we knew would escalate into a full-blown, full on meltdown, it could go on for a few day’s before he would blow, so we must be doing something right to have averted it.

We had to defrost the car this morning for the 1st time this year, and having changed my car a couple of months ago to make it more affordable for me not to return to work, I have to say I really missed my heated windscreen that I had on my last few cars, still beggers can’t be choser’s!!!! We got to school early today, Munch lined up and one of the little girls in his class came and stood next to him and held his hand, he had the biggest smile, and so did I after feeling so sad yesterday morning about him never having a partner to walk in with.

We have Munch’s main Christmas prezzie off Santa but apart from a few bits and piece’s had not got a clue what to get him, so me and hubby took ourselves off to Smyths Toy’s Superstore as Munch always refers to it this afternoon, we now have a long list of things to go and get next week.

From there we went to pick up Munch from school, he came out armed with his school photo’s, and even if a say so myself, what a very handsome son I have, off to the car where as both me and daddy were there Munch had to sit in the back. here was a helium balloon in the back from Sunday, on the drive home he kept pushing the balloon into the front of the car making it difficult to see, he was asked to keep it in the back, again he did it, was told again to keep it in the back and if he did not we would stop and get out and walk, well Munch being Munch just had to push it that bit further and push it into the front again, so car was stopped he was taken out of the car kicking and screaming, hubby walked him home whilst I took the car, the last I saw of them was Munch biting daddy’s arm, then shouting help me help me. 7 minutes after I was home I could hear them coming down the road, Munch was still shouting, still hitting, he was sent straight up to his room.

After 10 minutes I called him down so that we could go to the stay and play session at he children’s centre, we were the only ones there so Munch had a great time playing Connect 4, then football and building a very tall tower with the worker there before we went home.

Things were going swimmingly until it was time for tea, as daddy was off again tonight we had decided to take the opportunity to have a chinese after Munch was in bed. I sat at the table whilst Munch was having his dinner, he did no have a civil word to say, he was talking aggressively, kept making very babyish crying noises and was generally being rude, he had a warning and when he did not stop was told  to go and sit on the step, he refused and said he wanted to eat his tea, I was having none of it and was firm and told him step, he then flew at me punching really hard, I told him to go upstairs as I would not be hit, he protested a little, but i think that he realised that he had well overstepped the mark so went up, I called him down after his 7 minutes and he finished his dinner.

I went on the computer for a short while then went to do his bath, all hell broke out when I was upstairs, so I had to come down and sort both of them out, all over 2 sweets!!!

Munch had his bath, daddy did his hair and dried and got him ready for bed, then Munch ran from his room into the spare room and as he did he caught his foot on the meal bit of the Hoover and cut his foot, he was crying and he his foot was bleeding a fair bit, he actually let me hold onto his foot tightly with a towel round it to stop the bleeding, daddy sat next to him and held him, afterwards he took comfort from both of us, daddy carried him downstairs, and I was able to cuddle him on the sofa, such a difference from him not letting us anywhere near him when he has hurt himself before.

Rest of evening went by without a hitch and one happy and content boy is asleep in his bed right now.

19/11- Bullying

We had a very good start to the day. When we got to school and Munch lined up one of the other boys came up and stood next to Munch and said to his mum, that’s Munch, he’s the one I’ve been telling you about, I said to Munch what have you been up to, and he looked back at me with a very puzzled look on his face, this other boy said he’s been bullying me in the playground. I then spoke to the mum and asked her if  her boy had been having a problem, I think that she was a bit shocked that I spoke to her, and sort of warbled that her son had been coming home for a few day’s saying that Munch had been hitting him. I told her I would go and have a word with the teacher, and told Munch that I would speak to him about it when we got home.

I spoke to the teacher and told her what had been said, she was very surprised, she said that she would speak to both of them today. Munch often mention’s this boy, he is one of the few children that he does talk about, so I was very surprised, but if it was happening I wanted it nipped in the bud ASAP. Munch, I know can be very clingy with children, and I know some do not like this and in he past we have had friends children who have found this scary.

When I picked Munch up from school, I spoke again to his teacher, she said that she had spoken to the boy in question, he was adamant that nothing was happening, and that him and Munch were friends, so I have left it at that. On the way home, Munch said about me going to speak to him at home so I told him that I had spoken to his teacher and she had said every thing was ok so I had nothing to talk to him about, he said then tha he had done nothing, I have to say that I think we can tell when he is not being truthful and I felt like he was then, so I used this to illustrate how it is not nice to blamed for something you have not done and that is why when he blames people for something they have not done he has to sit on the step.

We went to the Children’s Centre for there stay and play session, he does not have very much contact with other children besides school and Beaver’s so I thought it would be good to go so that he had other children to play with, he kept saying that he didn’t want to go, but I knew once he got there he would enjoy it, so I said that we would go and stay for 10 minutes, if after that he didn’t want to stay we would go home, once there he was off playing with he other’s, they did a few things fo Children in Need, like face painting and guess how many spots were on the wall. He lasted till 5 minutes from the end then wanted to go home.

The rest of the evening went ok, apart from when I was speaking on the phone and he kept interrupting, we had snuggle time on his bed, I am really enjoying this time as we having lovely talks during them, tonight Munch was asking how long it was until the Christmas Party at the centre, I told him it was a little while yet, and that after the party we were going to have to got straight out as I had arranged for him to meet a certain man who would be visiting soon, his face was a picture although he was trying not to show it, he then said, I don’t want to visit santa Claus, that’s ok said I, I can cancel it, oh well said he, we had better go now then been as you have already booked it!!!!!! He had the biggest grin, a proper heart melting moment.

Night Out

This morning ran smoothly, again Munch had no TV as a consequence for not brushing his teeth properly the night before. We were up and running and into school.

On picking Munch up I told him that about mine and daddy’s night out, I explained that it was the babysitter he had met a couple of times before, I went through when she was coming and what would be happening in terms of his routine so that he had clear instruction’s, we had not told him untill now as we knew that if we gave him to much notice he would worry about it, and has sleepless nights where he genuinely has pains in his body, the same thing happens if we tell him before his SW is visiting, he will wake up with pains in his legs. When talking to the play therapist she said it is because his SW has been the one who has been with him through out the journey of being removed from his BF to FC’s, then from them to us his forever family, and the pains in his legs are because he associates his SW walking him through his journey, makes sence to me.

I digressed, he was happy with me giving him the set routine he was going to have, but did ask me if the babysitter was his new FC now, how sad.

We got home, got changed and headed off, after 7 minutes of time-out for not listening to mummy, to his Express It! group, when we got there it had been cancelled, which did me  a favour really as we were off out later, but I have to say, was it not for the fact that Children’s  Centre that we attend for it is directly opposite our house, I would have been very annoyed.

At home Munch was allowed to go on the computer whilst I was able to tidy up a bit more and get myself ready. Sod’s law, babysitter was coming at 6pm, at 10 minutes to hubby phoned to say he was stuck in traffic!! He eventually arrived at 6.35, quick change and wait for it, our big night out, and we were off to our local Adoption Uk support group.

It was a good night as there was no speaker, we all just sat  in a group and just talked, it was good to share our experiences, a good mixture of adopters who were newly placed and some who were a long way in with their children, there was also a couple who were going through the approval process, and as we all said to them at the end we hope we hadn’t put them off!!!

Afterwards we went to the pub and met up with a couple of friends as we thought whilst we had the babysitter we might as well make the most it. On returning home she said that Munch had been very well-behaved.

Granny Comes Visiting

Yesterday again we had a good day. Munch and I went shopping for a Halloween outfit and a bit of food. We then went home and got ready for the Ugly Bug Ball we were attending in the afternoon at our local Children’s Centre.

We went Munch was well-behaved but as usual in these situations his emotional age is a few years younger and he just ran round and round, joining in the dancing once or twice. Our friends daughter was there with her child minder and for a lot of the time he just wanted to be with her. Towards the end daddy and granny came, Munch was pleased to see granny but was very caught up in what was happening in the centre.

Munch was very good at home in the evening and on very good form with granny even sitting on her knee. He played hide and seek and on the computer before bed.

Today has been a day of 2 halfs, this morning Munch got up and went to granny but did go back to bed when asked to. We were going to Chessington today and Munch had been looking forward to it.

After breakfast and getting dressed i was like Munch had his finger on the self distruct button, he was uncooperative, was in one of his blaming and twisting moods, he ended up having time out, he was very angry and kicking out and swearing. He calmed down before the end of the 7 minutes, and we eventually go off.

Once at Chessington, he was moody waned to go on rides then did not want to, he had a rotten attitude and was constantly being rude, in the end I read him the riot act and told him that I was fed up of it, we were not just going to wonder around aimlessly all day, that he could loss his attitude and that this was it no more warning’s. The next time we would just go home. He was a bit sullen afterwards, be picked up and we had a lovely rest of the day.

Coming home in the car I was beginning to think we had picked up he wrong child, he was very polite and kind, he was very pleasant. We came home, he had supper and off he went to bed.