The High’s and Then Very Low Finish to the Weekend.

We had a lovely Saturday, we got up early and me and Munch had a lift off daddy up to Madame Tussaud’s, it was not somewhere I would have taken Munch but as we have Merlin Annual Passes had nothing to lose and he did enjoy it even though he didn’t know who the wax models were. He enjoyed the taxi ride and 4D film at the end. I always find rides are good for our attachment as well as Munch always wants you to hold him really tightly, I think this is because he has an valide reason for you to cuddle him.

Afterwards we went to the Science Museum and again he liked it here, we only saw a very small part of it as he was very interested in the Launch Pad area were it has lots of interactive things for children to do and also the area to do with Space, so I can see lots of visits to the Science Museum happening.

He was well-behaved all day and the few little bits of attitude we had were easily dealt with by saying that we would have to go home if they continued and he did not want to go home.

Sunday started off well, Munch used the computer for a short while, then watched a film, St Trinian’s of all film’s, but he was engrossed in it so I left him to it, then we went swimming.

His swimming is coming on a treat, he is very confident now and does not need his armbands at all, he is swimming a little on his own and I am sure with a few more visits before we go away he is going to just love the pool.

On the way home Munch’s attitude was that of a stroppy teenager again, so he was told that as soon as we got in he was to go on his step, he then though it was going to be a good idea and mimic me in a silly voice about the step, he didn’t think it was such a good idea when he was told that instead of 7 minutes on the step he had earned himself 30 minutes upstairs.

After his 30 minutes upstairs he watch Aliens vs. Monsters, we had dinner, then played Junior Monopoly, before his usual TV before bed. Daddy came home from work and Munch asked if rather than TV we could play a game of Monopoly again which we agreed to.

After supper was had and up to get ready for bed Munch went, all going very pleasantly. Munch went into he bathroom and hid behind the bathroom door, something he used to do all the time, but has not done for a long time. I went in put his toothpaste on his brush and called him, he came from behind the door and I was standing with my back to it and pushed me really hard making me stumble forward a little as I was not expecting it, now normally it would have been you cannot push people like that, it is not allowed – step, but as it was bedtime and I felt that he had been playing for time at supper, sending him to sit on the step would have been playing right into his hands, so I said that it was wrong and that tomorrow night he would come to bed at 7.30 instead of 8pm, He just flipped he started hitting and kicking and swearing, saying it had been an accident, I was in his way, I explained to him that all he had to do was say excuse me please and I would have moved, which made him rage more, I said that hitting and being aggressive was not allowed so knocked another 1/2 off his bedtime, he started hitting and saying unless I let him go to bed at 8.30pm he was no going to stop, by then I had got him in his bedroom, he was pulling my hair, hitting and kicking, kept repeating that if I didn’t let him stay up until 8.30 he was going to carry on, every time I tried to leave the room he had hold of my clothing or my hair and was screaming for me not to go, then he was biting. I just kept saying no he was going to bed at 7pm tomorrow as he could no expect go behave like this and stay up late, he had to take the consequences of his action’s. I picked him up and put him into his bed as he was refusing to get in, he had hold of my hair in both hands pulling so hard, where do they get teir strenght from when they are having these meltdowns!!!! Now this where I am not very proud of myself, but he was pulling so hard and I could not get him to let go, that I pulled his hair back, and the shock of it made him let go immediately, he said you are not allowed to hurt me, I just said but you were really hurting me and now you know what it feels like, I just said our usual goodnight blardy blar, and left the room, feeling horrible with what I had done.

I left it for 15 minutes and went upstairs on the pretence of going to the loo as Munch had been very quiet, and that has not been him just lately when in bed. As I was going upstairs, he asked is that you mummy in the sweetessed of voices as if nothing had happened, I went in he was playing his DS in bed, I apologies for pulling his hair, he asked if he could stay up till his normal time tomorrow, I stuck to my gun’s and said no, told him that he should not be playing his DS in bed and he was to finnish what he was doing and put it down, there was no calling out or anything afterwards, he jus finished and went off to sleep.

I hold my hands up and say I was completely at a loss as how to handle the situation, thank goodness for our Play Therapist, it shall be top of my agenda on Tuesday to get some help and guidance on how to deal with things when step is playing right into his hands.

So the weekend started on a high and ended up on a an extreme low 😦

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The Good, the Bad and the Good Again.

Well this morning started off very well, Munch came into our room a little earlier than I would have liked on a Sunday morning, especially after a lovely night last night filled with plenty of Bacardi, but he came in armed with a letter and had written to mummy and daddy I love you from Munch, what could we do after that, so we let him in, he watched Cartoon Network fo a while, then we put on the X Factor that we had recorded from last night, we watched just over half of it but Munch was starting to restless so we all got up.

I cooked a nice big Sunday breakfast of sausage, bacon, eggs black pudding, mushrooms and potato cakes. Munch did well, he ate some of his mushroom’s, egg, bacon and sausage, he tried the potato cake, and the black pudding but did not like them.

He asked to watch the Karate Film again, and went off to the living room to watch, when daddy went him, Munch was very rude and told daddy that he was not watching the film, daddy took offence at this and world war 3 broke out, daddy was shouting, Munch was shouting, which made daddy worse, now Munch has the upper hand and the control hat he wants, so out comes the language calling daddy a f—–g idiot, you f—–r, which enraged daddy even more, I dragged Munch upstairs and put him in his room and closed the door as he was being extremely violent. He was told he was not to leave his bedroom and he could stay there until told otherwise.

I was so angry with hubby, what was the point in all the work we had done with the play therapist, it is one of Munch’s little tricks to try to rile and recreate that chaotic , abusive lifestyle that to him was the norm for so many years of his precious life and hubby had played right into, what happened to our that is rude and not allowed – step.

Hubby went off in a strop with the dog because I told him what I though of him, Munch was upstairs wailing and that’s all it was a big noise and going on and on about wanting to go ice skating as that was what we were supposed to be doing today, but as a consequence of his behaviour was just not happening, I just said no we would not be going today, and he was to say upstairs until further notice.

Hubby came back with a face like a fiddle, I eventually let Munch down, he was acting like an angel and still though he was going to be able to go skating –  NO. He played on the computer for a short while, then engaged daddy in a spy game, by then hubby had stopped sulking, so off upstairs went they and came down with their spy costumes on, they did this for about half hour until Munch was bored with that.

Me and Munch went and made some jelly together to have for afters later, we then had lunch and got out all the paints and arts and craft bits and did some painting and sticking. After Munch had enough we went upstairs and played Junior Monopoly for an hour, Munch really enjoyed this and played it very well, we packed up in time for a nice quiet afternoon in front of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

After all the going’s on of this morning, I did not have the incline or the energy to do a Sunday roast, so am afraid Munch sat down to a Sunday dinner of beans on toast, followed by his orange jelly that he had made today.

Straight in the bath after were Munch played with all his toy mobile character’s as he usually does, he called out to me at one point and when I asked him what he wanted his reply was “love ya” aaaahhhh!!

TV, supper, story read and little man is now tucked up in bed, been a bit of a strange day today, daddy is in work, so lets hope he is in a better mood when he gets in, and tomorrow is another day.

The Morning After.

This morning started well but seemed to disintegrate whilst Munch was getting dressed, at the moment we are indulging him and helping him get himself dresses even though he is very capable of doing it himself, this is so that we can help him to get back some of the things that he missed out on when he was younger, this morning he decided that he was going to throw his socks at me in an aggressive way, so I said that I would not help him put them on, he then started to do a high-pitched scream in a very babyish way, I asked him to stop and he spoke to me in a very aggressive way, so new that was a very rude  you used, that is not allowed, step. After step back up to get dressed, Munch was still acting much younger and doing a lot of squealing, downstairs he was rude again so back on step, this ment we were going to be late for school, he does not like being late, and I have to say we have only ever been late once before after he had one of his big meltdown’s, all through his time on the step he kept saying about being late but I stuck to it, afterwards I said that he had chosen to speak to me with a rude voice, he know’s that it is not allowed and what the consequence is, that it was down to him to tell his teacher why he was late, and maybe in future he will remember that. As it was we were not that late inly a few minutes so he will have been in class by register.

This evening he has been a star, he played nicely in his room until dinner, then had his computer afterwards, bathed and is now watching TV until supper at 8.30 as it’s Friday. I have every confidence that supper and bedtime is going to go just as smoothly as it has until now. Right I might as well join him watching Phineas and Ferb.

Night Out

This morning ran smoothly, again Munch had no TV as a consequence for not brushing his teeth properly the night before. We were up and running and into school.

On picking Munch up I told him that about mine and daddy’s night out, I explained that it was the babysitter he had met a couple of times before, I went through when she was coming and what would be happening in terms of his routine so that he had clear instruction’s, we had not told him untill now as we knew that if we gave him to much notice he would worry about it, and has sleepless nights where he genuinely has pains in his body, the same thing happens if we tell him before his SW is visiting, he will wake up with pains in his legs. When talking to the play therapist she said it is because his SW has been the one who has been with him through out the journey of being removed from his BF to FC’s, then from them to us his forever family, and the pains in his legs are because he associates his SW walking him through his journey, makes sence to me.

I digressed, he was happy with me giving him the set routine he was going to have, but did ask me if the babysitter was his new FC now, how sad.

We got home, got changed and headed off, after 7 minutes of time-out for not listening to mummy, to his Express It! group, when we got there it had been cancelled, which did me  a favour really as we were off out later, but I have to say, was it not for the fact that Children’s  Centre that we attend for it is directly opposite our house, I would have been very annoyed.

At home Munch was allowed to go on the computer whilst I was able to tidy up a bit more and get myself ready. Sod’s law, babysitter was coming at 6pm, at 10 minutes to hubby phoned to say he was stuck in traffic!! He eventually arrived at 6.35, quick change and wait for it, our big night out, and we were off to our local Adoption Uk support group.

It was a good night as there was no speaker, we all just sat  in a group and just talked, it was good to share our experiences, a good mixture of adopters who were newly placed and some who were a long way in with their children, there was also a couple who were going through the approval process, and as we all said to them at the end we hope we hadn’t put them off!!!

Afterwards we went to the pub and met up with a couple of friends as we thought whilst we had the babysitter we might as well make the most it. On returning home she said that Munch had been very well-behaved.