Ouch, That Hurt.

This morning was a much better start to the day than yesterday, Munch came knocking on the door again asking when were we getting up, this needs to be nipped in the bud, so he will be being informed that there will be no TV on school mornings when he does it, I know his answer will be that it doesn’t matter, but a couple of mornings of having to sit at the kitchen table will soon have the desired effect.

Although Munch was lively this morning, the mood that he was in yesterday had definitely lifted thank goodness, as it used to be that type of mood that we knew would escalate into a full-blown, full on meltdown, it could go on for a few day’s before he would blow, so we must be doing something right to have averted it.

We had to defrost the car this morning for the 1st time this year, and having changed my car a couple of months ago to make it more affordable for me not to return to work, I have to say I really missed my heated windscreen that I had on my last few cars, still beggers can’t be choser’s!!!! We got to school early today, Munch lined up and one of the little girls in his class came and stood next to him and held his hand, he had the biggest smile, and so did I after feeling so sad yesterday morning about him never having a partner to walk in with.

We have Munch’s main Christmas prezzie off Santa but apart from a few bits and piece’s had not got a clue what to get him, so me and hubby took ourselves off to Smyths Toy’s Superstore as Munch always refers to it this afternoon, we now have a long list of things to go and get next week.

From there we went to pick up Munch from school, he came out armed with his school photo’s, and even if a say so myself, what a very handsome son I have, off to the car where as both me and daddy were there Munch had to sit in the back. here was a helium balloon in the back from Sunday, on the drive home he kept pushing the balloon into the front of the car making it difficult to see, he was asked to keep it in the back, again he did it, was told again to keep it in the back and if he did not we would stop and get out and walk, well Munch being Munch just had to push it that bit further and push it into the front again, so car was stopped he was taken out of the car kicking and screaming, hubby walked him home whilst I took the car, the last I saw of them was Munch biting daddy’s arm, then shouting help me help me. 7 minutes after I was home I could hear them coming down the road, Munch was still shouting, still hitting, he was sent straight up to his room.

After 10 minutes I called him down so that we could go to the stay and play session at he children’s centre, we were the only ones there so Munch had a great time playing Connect 4, then football and building a very tall tower with the worker there before we went home.

Things were going swimmingly until it was time for tea, as daddy was off again tonight we had decided to take the opportunity to have a chinese after Munch was in bed. I sat at the table whilst Munch was having his dinner, he did no have a civil word to say, he was talking aggressively, kept making very babyish crying noises and was generally being rude, he had a warning and when he did not stop was told  to go and sit on the step, he refused and said he wanted to eat his tea, I was having none of it and was firm and told him step, he then flew at me punching really hard, I told him to go upstairs as I would not be hit, he protested a little, but i think that he realised that he had well overstepped the mark so went up, I called him down after his 7 minutes and he finished his dinner.

I went on the computer for a short while then went to do his bath, all hell broke out when I was upstairs, so I had to come down and sort both of them out, all over 2 sweets!!!

Munch had his bath, daddy did his hair and dried and got him ready for bed, then Munch ran from his room into the spare room and as he did he caught his foot on the meal bit of the Hoover and cut his foot, he was crying and he his foot was bleeding a fair bit, he actually let me hold onto his foot tightly with a towel round it to stop the bleeding, daddy sat next to him and held him, afterwards he took comfort from both of us, daddy carried him downstairs, and I was able to cuddle him on the sofa, such a difference from him not letting us anywhere near him when he has hurt himself before.

Rest of evening went by without a hitch and one happy and content boy is asleep in his bed right now.

Best laid Plan’s…..

Munch was very good this morning and stayed in bed watching his TV until I went in to him at 9am. We came down and watched a bit more TV whilst having breakfast.

By the time breakfast was finished daddy was awake so Munch went up to see him, in the mean time I had told Munch my plan’s to either go to Madame Tussaud’s or to  the Science Museum. Munch said that he wanted to do neither, he wanted to go swimming, I did not fancy it as last time we went it was freezing. Daddy said that he would take him and go into work later on, one happy mummy.

For a while daddy and Munch played a bit of rough and tumble in the living room, Munch is very toddler like sometimes in his play as this is yet another of the area’s that he missed out in his early years. Trouble is whilst it is good to regress with him, it can be hard to keep him in check and very easy for him to go over the top and find it hard to calm himself down again, he was asked several times to calm a little before he hurt himself or daddy, twice he went slap on the floor, the 2nd time he did hurt himself. He would not take any form of soothing or help, this is another of the area’s that need’s a lot of work on, he is unable to accept comfort at all and it is so hard to see when you desperately want to help make it better, and just scoop him up and give him a great big cuddle, maybe one day.

We all got ready and I went along to watch, Munch is coming along so well with his swimming now and for the first time managed to swim a bit with out his armbands, when I think of all the money we spent on swimming lesson’s for 20 weeks when he first came, they were such a waste off money, he has come on so much better with us taking him ourselves. I just love watching him in the pool, he is so confident in the water and given half a chance would spend all day in there if he could.

We went to the pool cafe and ate afterwards. There was  some sort of Karate competition being help at the sports centre and Munch kept saying that he wants to do it and could we find out about it for him. All the way home he kept asking, we had already said that we would, daddy and I were talking and all of a sudden, I had 2 big kicks in the back of the chair, I gave the body language is all wrong, that not allowed, step as soon as we get in, just for a very cocky little boy to say but I was trying to speak to you, that’s not the way to go about getting my attention!!

Home 7 minutes on the step done and Munch practiced his magic on daddy until it was time for us to take daddy to pick up his taxi. On the way back we stopped in the shops to pick up a few bits and pieces, Munch managed to speak in a rude voice again so ended up on the step as soon as we got in.

After that we settled down to a quiet couple of hours before bed, we watched The Nightmare before Christmas, then Munch found a Scooby Doo film, this took him up to bedtime, so he was let of his bath fo 1 night.

Munch was in desperate need of his toe nails to be cut, we have done them a few times since he has been here without a fuss, I have tried to do them a few times of late, and every time he has made a fuss and not let me, I can see that it is a control issue, and again tonight we had the same issue, it was definitely him trying to control what was happening, but his toe nails have now got so long that they really needed doing, he would not let me snacking his foot away every time I went to clip. This went on until I have to say that I lost it with him, it was such a silly thing to loss it over, but knowing that we had done it several times before with out an issue tipped me over the edge, I left them room after shouting at him, said that he would just have to have long toe nails, and when they started to hurt he could go to the doctors. Oh dear, how childish was I, and an issue to talk to the play therapist about Tuesday.

Once downstairs I have to say I shut the living room door and just sat feeling very bad, Munch kept calling but I ignored him until in the end he actually came and stood at the bottom of the stairs, he has never come down once in bed since he has been here. He was crying with real tears, only the second time I have seen him do that as well since he has been here and saying I want a hug and kiss, so I said come on let’s go back to bed, and for the 1st time ever I had a big proper hug, where he hugged me back as well, I kissed him on the head with out him, yelling get off, what a break though!!

I said what a silly pickle we have got ourselves into over a couple of toe nails, he let me cut them and we had another cuddle and kiss good-night. It was like afterwards he decided that he liked the hugs as he called down saying he felt poorly and needed a hug again, which I did, in the end he has ended up in mummy and daddy’s bed, but we will be putting him back in his own bed when we go up.

Day 2 of Mummy Gets Tough

The morning started well, we got up a bit later than normal as because of consequence which were put in place because of Munch’s behaviour the morning before. I will point out that these were before the play therapist had been and I started our almost supper-nanny like regime, I had said that is what was going to happen and as Munch remembers everything I needed to follow them through. So breakfast at the table no TV, that had been for jumping on daddy the previous morning, dressed over shop to buy crisps for film club this evening, car, school, easy.

As Munch had film club I did not have to pick him up until 4.45pm, bliss. Once in the car Munch said about making a lead for his little dog which we said that we would do together, I had not been able to get out to get the ribbon to make it and said so and that if I went out the next day I would see if I could get it, que Munch shouting at me aggressively and saying tha I had lied, I did the that is a very rude voice, that is not allowed, firmly and he was told to hang up his coat hen step as soon as he got in.

Once we got in that’s what he did, once finished he practiced his reading for assemble the following day and did his homework which I am pleased to say he is now putting a bit of effort into as before he never wanted to do it and it would be very rushed. Munch’s writing is very untidy, and his spelling is terrible, so I am thinking of doing some work on that myself at home with him once or twice a week. I shall keep up our regime and once he is getting into a better state of mind around his control issues I will start.

As he did not have long until  bath time Munch was allowed to use the computer until his dinner was ready, he had one more episode of rude talking and time out, then dinner, bath, straight to supper with no TV tonight, another of his consequences from the previous morning. Munch has got into a very bad habit of not brushing his teeth properly, so I am trying to encourage him, tonight he was repeatedly asked to brush them properly, and continued not to, so he lost the next mornings TV again.

We ead a story that the PT had lent us about a cross crocodile who was in pain and how a little mouse came and took away his pain and held it for him then buried it, I altered the wording a little to reflect the pain that Munch carries around with him and how we help to take it away, but using the character’s in the story, Munch really cuddled up to me whilst I was reading it which he still finds very hard to do so is lovely for me when he does, and he wanted me to sit back on his bed so that he could sit on me and have a cuddle afterwards, which is another rare but good when it happens occurence. We did cream water and cuddle, did not quiet manage the kisses tonight, but there’s always tomorrow. Munch called down a few times afterwards, then eventually sleep.

In addition to above, I spoke to both our SW and Munch’s SW today, we are worried about the fact that we only have 3 more sessions with the play therapist and we feel that we need more, if only for support for us. Munch’s SW has said tha he will try to speak to he PT so that he is able to go back to their funding panel for more funding, so fingers crossed.

All Boy’s Together

Yesterday mummy and granny had a day out in London and left daddy in charge of Munch. Before we went though Munch had an appointment with the nurse at the doctor’s surgery for his Hep B booster, he was really looking forward to this!!! When we got there though the nurse was not sure why he was having it, I asked her to get his note’s, but there was a great big pile of them so she asked us if we would mind coming back so that she could look at the notes and she would ring me later. When she did ring me later I was annoyed as I was questioned as to my relationship, and when I had taken him before was I his Foster Carer!!!! No we are his parents, we just have not had our day in court yet, I then had to explain that we have joint parental responsibility with his LA. We have a letter saying that we are able to do all things like doctor’s appointments, dentist’s, vaccinations etc, we gave the doctor’s a copy when we first registered Munch, but they want me to take it again aaarrggghhh!!!!!

After that we got ready for our day in London, daddy and Munch run us to the local station, all the way Munch cuddled up to me and when asked fo a cuddle I had a beautiful cuddle before going, and we had a laugh a the little hand waving out of the back wind of daddy’s cab.

We had a fab day doing a bit of shopping in Hamley’s and Harrod’s, in between the two shop’s we had Dorchester, then in the evening we went to see Dirty Dancing, what a fab day.

Munch and daddy had a great day too, they had gone to the Pitch and Putt, but it was closed so they went to Kids Kingdom. After they came home and played some games, they fetched take away for tea. Daddy did Munch’s bath, TV, supper then bed. Munch asked for Sqirrel Nutmeg story, which is about a squirrel who has to be adopted. Daddy really enjoyed his day with Munch so a good time had by all.

Dare I Say it…..

We have had another good day here. Few wake up calls before 9am but sent back to bed. Afterwards up and breakfast. Dressed and bike ride with daddy whilst he walked the day.

Munch played on the Wii for a while whilst we had a cuppa before we all went to pick up daddy’s cab. Daddy went off to work whilst me and Munch went and did a bit of shopping. We then called in to see a friend who had been one of our references, it was the 1st time she had met Munch. He was really well-behaved, he put on his usual front, but it was not half as bad as normal.

When we got home I asked Munch to entertain himself as I needed to as Granny is coming tomorrow to stay, this he did lovely, he played upstairs for a while then downstairs making a huge mountain out of my pile of ironing!!!  At one point I asked Munch for a cuddle and got a lovely one, a real 1st for him to just come and give me one.

After tea Munch went on the computer whilst speaking to his cousin on the phone, said goodbye when told to had his supper and off to bed. We had a lovely goodnight hug and kisses, Munch then called me back saying I had cuddled him and he wanted to cuddle me, after the cuddle he then went on to kiss me on the cheek put in a totally inappropriate way, I asked him to stop but he continued, I repeated several times  that is not how son’s kiss their mummy’s, but he continued laughing and kept saying ‘scardy cat’, I left the room and on the way out of the room said that I was sad that even though I had asked him not to kiss me like that and why, he had continued to do so. Half way down the stairs I got a ‘sorry mummy’.

A little while after he had been in bed Munch started calling down saying he need cream for a poorly, I think it was more to do with not liking to go to sleep on a bad note, and needed me to go up and show him I was not cross and everything was ok.