2 Not to Bad Day’s

Thursday after school Munch’s Express It! group started back up, they are running it differently now, it’s going to be a 6 week programme rather than just a group run every week,I am hoping it will be a bit more focused, as I have felt before that it was not really helping in any way apart from I was good for us to go along and have contact with others, so we will see. Whilst there I was asked by the manager if I would be willing to join the parent’s forum that they are starting so I agreed to that.

During the group, because wev’e had a break for a month Munch was ‘performing’ very well for his audience, he was uncooperative, was not taking part, laying down in the middle of the group circle, being very loud and talking over people. Half way through I took him aside and laid down the law that this behavior was not allowed, if he carried on we would go straight home and onto the step, he did calm down a little after that but we will have to see what next week bring’s.

Friday was a relatively good day too. After school we went shopping for new shoe’s for Munch, he has such a strong sence of what he like’s I knew it was going to be a difficult job. We eventually agreed on a pair, normally I would within reason let him pick his own, but these were to wear to the Wedding we were going to the next day so I was a bit more choosy  than I normally would have been.

The shoe’s were from Next and whilst we were in there Munch spotted a Trilby Hat, he tried the hat on and really wanted it, and he did look very cool, I agreed to him having the hat if he used his pocket-money towards it and also said that because of the extra money I would have towards it that we would not be able to go to Hobby Craft to get the paper cutter’s he wanted. He still wanted the hat, when we were paying for it he asked the lady at the counter to take the tags off, which she did, as soon as she did it he gave her the hat and said that he didn’t want it any more,I told him it was too late , the lady has taken the tag of now like you asked her to, he created and he cried was begging the assistant to take it back, I just told her to ignore him, paid for our bit and left the shop with a wailing child, and just made it clear to him that all that creating was not going to help, that you cannot just expect people to take things back and that in future he needed to think carefully before making decisions.

With a bit of jollying along an a lot of you looked great, really cool in that hat,he then proudly wore it back to he car.

At home he asked to watch the Karate Kid again before bed.

Iffy Day!!!

Bit of an iffy start to this morning, Munch was just in one of those moods where nothing was right, he moaned and groaned on, I just ignored rather than give him the satisfaction of biting and fueling his mood even more, he got sent to the step once for speaking rudely, but we got to school on time. I was a bit upset after dropping him off as it hit me how when they line up they have to do it in pairs, and this morning Munch went and stood next to the girl who was at the end of the line, as soon as the next person came she moved and stood next to them so Munch was on his own, it made me realise that he is always on his own and never has a partner, a had a little cry to myself afterwards, I think I will have a word with his teacher as I do not want him being left out all the time by the other children.

Daddy picked Munch up from school today, when they got in they had a quick game of paper chase where Munch wrote clues and daddy followed them, then we were off to his Express It! group, Munch was very obviously in his mood still, he was not listening and very hyper. On the way over I spoke to him and told him, that if he could no behave and listen to what he was told to do when there we would go home. They were making pizza today, Munch was on form, he was all over the place, still making crying noises, not listening and generally being a pain in the backside, once the pizza’s were ready for cooking we went to play some games, munch just was not listening he was extremely hyper, so I took him outside sat him down to calm down and spoke to him saying that there were no more warnings, if he still behaved as he was we would go home. Back in we went and Munch was still all over the place not listening one bit, so I just said you were warned what would happen, home and step. He refused to put on his shoes, said he would not leave, so I just picked up his jumper, coat and shoes and walked to the door. Munch followed me, I asked him to put on his shoes, he refused, so I just said fine walk home without them then and took hold of his hand and walked, he pulled but I just keep going, we go as far as the gate and he wanted to put his shoes on, I stopped for him to put his shoes on with out letting go, he was shouting he waned his pizza, I told him he had been warned wha would happen, he had chosen to carry on the way he did, so it was down to him that he had missed out on his pizza, he hit and kicked, I just kept saying firmly it was not allowed and he could not behave like that, he tried biting my arm, and holding on to things as we walked past, I  just kept going, at one point someone in a van shouted out of their window, well I shall not print here what Munch shouted after them, needless to say the air was very blue!!!

We got home just as daddy was about to leave for work, we got in I just said step, he sat but he was make very load, very false crying noises, half way through he went quiet and just sat there, he then said I really want my pizza, daddy said if you sit and do the rest of your time quietly we can go back as long as you apologise to everyone else for spoiling their time, luck for Munch that daddy was there as I would not have taken him back, I should point out that he centre is only a couple of minutes walk from us. So back we went and Munch was much quieter and did manage to behave for the remaining time we were there, all though the hyper levels were beginning to creep up.

Back at home Munch was still in a funny mood, so I run his bath early. He had his bath, watched TV until his usual bedtime, supper and daddy took Munch to bed as by now daddy had decided to take the night off (he is self-employed), they had not been up there  very n long before I could hear Munch making a crying noise again and daddy was downstairs, Munch was most upset to have missed his snuggle time so I went up and we had a shorter time, he talked in a very babyish voice to start with but gradually lost it. Daddy came up and they had a cuddle and a bit of tickling time, and thankfully, the mood that had been so visible over Munch today disappeared so lets hope it’s still gone in the morning.

Early Awakening

Munch came into our room at 3am this morning saying that he could not sleep, I was saying to him, come on I’ll come back with you, but I only got to the come on and he shot up the bed and in between us quicker than Linford Christie in one of his races. Ok, next time I will choose my words more carefully!! Well for an hour he wriggled and wriggled, in the end I told him I was going to the toilet and went into the spare bedroom. He then went to sleep, he got up and went to the toilet just before the alarm was due to go off, he looked at me and said I’m not getting up yet and off back to my spot in the bed he went!!

When I dropped him at school I had a word with the head teacher who again said, no he did not start yesterday’s nose bleed, obviously not listening to anything that I had to say. Oh well.

Picked Munch up from school, on the way to the car he was deliberately trying to trip me up, asked to stop, he carried on so usual spiel, step when you get in, this just made him do it all the more!!!

At home he went straight on the step, then upstairs to get changed, then we went straight to his Express It! group. On the way I warned him that if I had to speak to him once about his behaviour we would leave, something must have got through because we has a good time at the group.

At home we did his reading, another book he has had before and that is far to easy for him, so strong words were written in the reading diary, next we did his book work, then his homework, and lastly his spellings. Munch was told to choose something to do whilst I was preparing dinner, Munch had lost the use of the computer tonight for not listening and stringing out what he was doing the night before on there at bathtime, so he chose to get his pool game out, as things where not happening as he wanted to Munch started hitting himself about the head, I said for him to stay calm, think about what he was doing then when he though that he could manage it to try again, he was very upset about that and talked very rudely to me so, spiel again, step. Munch was not happy with this and threw the chairs on the floor in the kitchen and deliberately punched me, once off the step he was rude again, so back to the step he went, this time quietly and sat and did his time well. Once off, he played with his pool game nicely until dinner time. As dinner was a bit later it was straight in the bath, his bedtime routine went well tonight.

Night Out

This morning ran smoothly, again Munch had no TV as a consequence for not brushing his teeth properly the night before. We were up and running and into school.

On picking Munch up I told him that about mine and daddy’s night out, I explained that it was the babysitter he had met a couple of times before, I went through when she was coming and what would be happening in terms of his routine so that he had clear instruction’s, we had not told him untill now as we knew that if we gave him to much notice he would worry about it, and has sleepless nights where he genuinely has pains in his body, the same thing happens if we tell him before his SW is visiting, he will wake up with pains in his legs. When talking to the play therapist she said it is because his SW has been the one who has been with him through out the journey of being removed from his BF to FC’s, then from them to us his forever family, and the pains in his legs are because he associates his SW walking him through his journey, makes sence to me.

I digressed, he was happy with me giving him the set routine he was going to have, but did ask me if the babysitter was his new FC now, how sad.

We got home, got changed and headed off, after 7 minutes of time-out for not listening to mummy, to his Express It! group, when we got there it had been cancelled, which did me  a favour really as we were off out later, but I have to say, was it not for the fact that Children’s  Centre that we attend for it is directly opposite our house, I would have been very annoyed.

At home Munch was allowed to go on the computer whilst I was able to tidy up a bit more and get myself ready. Sod’s law, babysitter was coming at 6pm, at 10 minutes to hubby phoned to say he was stuck in traffic!! He eventually arrived at 6.35, quick change and wait for it, our big night out, and we were off to our local Adoption Uk support group.

It was a good night as there was no speaker, we all just sat  in a group and just talked, it was good to share our experiences, a good mixture of adopters who were newly placed and some who were a long way in with their children, there was also a couple who were going through the approval process, and as we all said to them at the end we hope we hadn’t put them off!!!

Afterwards we went to the pub and met up with a couple of friends as we thought whilst we had the babysitter we might as well make the most it. On returning home she said that Munch had been very well-behaved.

These Last 3 Days.

Last 3 day have been pretty uneventful, school all day Tuesday, no play therapist as she had to attend court, Munch went to Beaver’s and was pleased to be 1 of the 4 Beaver’s to be picked to attend the District Connect 4 competition on Saturday out of his group.

Wednesday he had his film club after school, as it was granny’s last night she did bath and story.

Today we had a bit of attitude in the morning which resulted in time-out, granny went home. We attended the Express It! group and as usual Munch was very uncooperative and did not listen and generally missed behaved more so than usual, so on coming home was sent upstairs until dinner. Dinner was a bit of a disaster as new recipe and it was not nice. Munch watched TV for a while after dinner until his cousin called and they played on club penguin until bedtime, Munch got himself ready for bed, we had some of his juice bottle and a cuddle on mummy’s bed story and nite nite followed.

Memory’s

Well we have had a good couple of days, so we are all happy.

Today we went to our usual Express it group, it’s run at our local children’s centre and it’s aim is to help children to express their emotions in a safe way. Today they were doing safe combat, this was acting out punching, kicking etc in a controlled none contact way. Munch got very agitated by this and very uncooperative, I voiced my concerns that may be this was triggering bad memory’s for Munch, and the group facilitator changed what they were doing straight away. Munch was a little more cooperative, but still a little wobbly and was very immature emotionally for the rest of the session.

Once home Munch was much better and we had a good rest of the evening until afer bed where he called down several times, until I have to say I ended up losing it and shouting at him, que me feeling really bad and a little voice calling down once more ‘sorry mummy’.

Mummy’s Going Out

Today started ok, we had breakfast then went upstairs to get changed. Munch decided to go in and wake daddy even though asked not to and ended up getting counted to 3 so had to do his time-out. We got off  with out a hitch after that.

After school we went to his Express It class, Munch was all over the place there today, was unable to listen and at times very uncooperative.

We went home where Munch played football with daddy then went on the computer before dinner. During dinner Munch again was in one of his moods, he pu loads of tomato sauce on his dinner when asked not to, was putting large pieces of food into his mouth and claiming not to be able to cut them, when I went to help he shouted that I had moved his sauce and then kept pushing food of his plate and crying tha all his food was falling off his plate, he was given a count of 3 and told to go and sit on his chair, at this he exploded, he hit and kicked and was swearing, daddy shouted at him which just makes things worse, I removed him from the kitchen into the living room, the lifted him and carried him to his bedroom and stayed with him until he calmed down, he lay on his bed so I told him to lay there for 5 minutes and calm down. I came downstairs and after 5 minutes called him down to finish his dinner which he did nicely. Then went outside and played with football with daddy.

I was going out to an AUK meeting and had told Reece so on our way home from school, we realised that this is what had triggered his behaviour this evening, it was the change in his routine, or rather the change in person doing his routine, it was different to how it normally happens and Munch finds change really difficult.

After I had gone, the rest of the evening until bedtime went ok, Munch being Munch, tried it on with just about everything by the sounds of it, bet then again, that’s my boy!!!