30/12 – Panto

Munch went into Granny this morning, he called us to go and see to the dog as her ears were playing up.

The morning went well, he played for a while with his new drum sticks off Grampy, he was making us laugh as he was drumming on his head, his tummy, his legs, he then went upstairs, to do his hour.

We all went into the local shopping centre, daddy took Munch to his favorite football teams shop and granny brought him a jumper with the logo on. We all had dinner in BHS and generally just had a walk around. Munch used his own money to by a Club Penguin toy before we came home.

Munch went upstairs to watch a film on the TV, he only watched about 1/2 of it before getting bored and then became a dog, he must have spent the next hour and a 1/2 crawling around on his hand and knee’s barking and just generally being a pest, in the end we had to tell him to stop.

At last it was time to get ready for the Panto, we were all off to see our local production of Snow White. We all really enjoyed it, Munch sat in awe most of the time and only joined in towards the end, he said that he really enjoyed it though.

Back home and it was supper and bed.

Weekend with Granny

Friday morning went very considering I had not gone to bed until 2am after consuming several rather large glasses of wine, my feet still hurt from wearing ridiculously high heels for the 1st time in what must be a year now.

Munch was very excited because when I picked him up from school we were driving straight to Granny’s in Wales, after having breakfast and getting ready for school Munch got out his rucksack and filled it with toy’s and games to take.

I picked Munch up from school, we made ourselves comfy in the car and off we set. I had made us up some rolls and we had some crisps and drinks and we set off, part way there I became very tired and had to pull off the motorway for a rest, we had a loo break and I grabbed a coffee and we were on our way. The traffic was heavy through London and on some parts of the M4 so it was 9pm before we reached Granny’s house. We are lucky that Munch is so good in the car, in total from leaving school to reaching granny’s was 6 hours!!!!

When we got there Munch was very excited he was out of the car and running to find the house with the tile missing off the porch, that’s how he always knows which one is Granny’s and was in and having a big hug with granny, a proper hug, unlike before so he made granny’s day.

We had a drink and granny gave Munch his christmas cards and then we had to play a quick game of his Junior Monopoly which I had said he could do, I limited the time to 1/2 hour as it was 10pm before we started, by the time we had finished and Munch had his supper it was 10.45pm when he got into bed a hug and a kiss and Munch was away with the fairy’s.

Munch had a cough which had been developing over the previous few day’s, me and him were sharing a bedroom and during the night he called me to tell me he had a little cough.

Next day we got up and watched tv with granny for a while, we had a little outing to the shop but did not go far as, my sister-in-law and niece were coming to granny’s today as well and staying until tomorrow. Munch could not wait for them to get there, when they arrived he was very happy and him and his cousin got on with doing what children do and played all afternoon.

Later on my cousin’s wife and her daughter and friend came, all of the children played together for a while, really nicely considering the 3 girls were all a few years older than Munch. Munch was very well-behaved, he had to sit on the step a couple of times earlier, not for any major incidents but more because he can be very boulshie when in other people company and give’s it the big I am and I wanted to control it before it got over the top.

We all sat down to watch strictly Come Dancing and then the x Factor and Munch even sat nicely and watched these, once they were over it was supper and bed.

For the second morning running on Sunday we got to have a lay in until almost 9am. Munch got up and went downstairs as Granny was down there. I went down to find him sitting in font of the fire looking at presents granny had put there ready for after dinner as she was doing a Christmassy dinner as we were all together, Munch was chomping at the bit to open his but granny said no till after dinner, can I have my dinner now please said Munch at 9am. The girls eventually go up as my cousins daughter had stayed over night as well and eventually we were all dressed and ready for the day we had a lovely dinner and Munch was so excited about having prawn crackers as he insists on calling Christmas crackers, we all opened our little token presents and Munch was very pleased to get a set of Power Rangers, before all sitting round the coffee table for a lovely selection of deserts.

I nipped out to the car for some reason and by the time I got back Munch was in the kitchen with a stoney look on his face, S-I-L explained that he had just hurt one of the girls fingers and had been asked to say sorry, Munch being Munch though and very stubborn would not do so, also because I was told afterwards he had not realised at the time that he had hurt her as it was an accident, I asked him to apologise, nothing, now I now from experience the more you go on the more he digs his heals in, I told him what he needed to do and left him as I now he would have stood in the door way for a minute or to then with a frown on his face would have mumbled sorry, not ideal I now, but a big step for him, and gradually came in the room and joined us.

My cousin’s wife kept talking to him though and then went in the Kitchen to talk to him, he was getting more and more agitated by now and the glass doors were being slammed and still she talked, so I just said to her that she was fuelling him, we all needed just to get on and ignore him until he came round which he did within a few minutes then.

It’s very difficult with other people, but as parents of adopted children or any children for that matter we have to tell them our way’s.

Dinner finished and gradually people started leaving, S-I-L and niece first, followed by cousin’s wife and daughter, we eventually left at 5.50pm, granny was very happy as Munch not looing at her said just as he was getting into the car ‘love you’,made Granny’s weekend. We stopped for petrol and Munch got some sweets which made his hand sticky and he was not happy and kept screaming, even after he fell asleep every now and again he woe up screamed and shook his hands a bit then off he would go again. I stopped for a coffee and so Munch could wash his hands, from then on in he was wide awake, we had a great conversation when driving around Parliament Square about the student riots that had happened a few day’s before.

We arrived home at 10pm, Munch was out of the car and running up the drive to see daddy and the dog, supper and drink and into bed for my little man, his cough had gotten steadily worse over the weekend, so I decided to see how he was in the morning to decide whether or not to take him into school.

All in all a very good and weekend, everyone had a great time, and they all remarked on how much calmer and how he seemed much more settled now, hurrah, we must be getting somewhere.

2 Very Different Days

Yesterday morning for some reason Munch came and woke me up at 6.40am, I told him to go back to bed which he did and put his TV on, he must have come in another 4 times and in the end we got up earlier than planned. Munch is normally good at staying in his room until 9am on a weekend so I am not sure what was a matter this morning.

Munch was 1 of the 4 Beaver’s representing his group in a Connect 4 competition in the morning so we got ready for that, he was his usual apprehensive self when going somewhere new, saying that he did not want to go. I knew that he would be fine once he got there so gave him lots of encouragement, and he was ok and off with the other Beaver’s from his group as soon as we arrived.

I was back a couple of hour’s later to pick him up and watch the presentation of certificates, Munch go a taking part certificate of which he was really pleased with.

After we went straight to our local shopping centre because Munch has completely out grown his old winter coat and he needed one. Munch was in a very funny mood by the time we got there he was cranky, very un-cooperative, he had pocket-money he wanted to spend, he had his Kevin and Perry head on, so he was full of attitude and generally not listening and thinking he was being very clever, he had several warnings. We went o the toilet and he insisted on coming in with me and did not want o leave and stand on his own, I told him that the mood he was in I did not trust him not to open the door, he promised that he would not, and then did. I told him that he had enough warning’s and that we were going home. He did his usual and said that he had forgotten not to open the door it was an accident, which it was not. I just took hold of his hand and walked through the shopping centre with him protesting until we got to the car park. I was really aware of the fact that I desperately needed to get him a coat, so I took him aside when we got to the car park and talked to him and said that we would go back, but here would be no more warnings, if he stepped out of line just once, we would go home, coat or no coat, and if he had no coat we could not go to the Fireworks display  we were going to tha evening.

The rest of the shopping trip passed very sullenly, we got a coat, as he behaved we went to Disney and he spent his pocket-money on Club Penguin books and we made it home in one piece.

Munch’s attitude carried on at home, he clearly was not having a good day and was struggling. We had tea and got ready for the Fireworks Display, we were meeting friends. Whilst there Munch was trying to be very controlling of everything, nothing was right, he was very heavy-handed with our friends daughter. He moaned and groaned although the fireworks, the later night and very early morning was obviously kicking in, walking out he was deliberately bumping into people as it was very crowded, we walked a little way to get a bus, all the bus’ passing were full, we managed to get a taxi in the end, this cheered him up and we had a much better mood.

When we got in daddy had to go to nanny’s, we had a very nice supper time then off to bed. Munch walked out of the kitchen then just walked back in and punched me out of the blue, and started shouting that I had left his new coat on the back of the chair. Now I am not proud of the fact, but at this point I have to say I completely lost the plot, I was so angry, I shouted and shouted, I told him I was sick and tired of his attitude, tha I was not going to be hit and kicked by him anymore, that was not what son’s did to their mummy’s and if he carried on that from now on he could stay upstairs in his bedroom where I did not have to see him, me shouting like a fish wife gave him even more ammunition to shout back and swear at me like a trooper. I was just so angry that I yelled and yelled about what I don’t know.

I came downstairs and sat down and could not believe how I had acted, so after a few minutes, I went back up and apologised to him, it is the first time in the 10 months that he has been our son I have ever seen his face wet with tears, I said I was very sorry that I shouted at him, we had a hug and a kiss and off to sleep he went.

On reflection we should not really have taken Munch to he display, what we have said is that in future if we are planning on doing something like that we will leave it until the last-minute to tell him the we can judge before we go if we feel that he will be able to cope with it.

Today has been totally different, he got up in a much better frame of mind. After breakfast I decided to take Munch to the local Sunday market, we spent a couple of hours there. Munch bought a little yappy dog. We called in the supermarket on he way home, had an hour indoor’s then went and met one of my friend’s and her dog with our dog. Munch had a good couple of hours walking and running with the two dog’s.

Back at home he watched TV before bath his evening TV and yet more fireworks, supper, bed story. Tonight he wanted to do his bottle again sitting on my knee. In all the a very good day.

These Last 3 Days.

Last 3 day have been pretty uneventful, school all day Tuesday, no play therapist as she had to attend court, Munch went to Beaver’s and was pleased to be 1 of the 4 Beaver’s to be picked to attend the District Connect 4 competition on Saturday out of his group.

Wednesday he had his film club after school, as it was granny’s last night she did bath and story.

Today we had a bit of attitude in the morning which resulted in time-out, granny went home. We attended the Express It! group and as usual Munch was very uncooperative and did not listen and generally missed behaved more so than usual, so on coming home was sent upstairs until dinner. Dinner was a bit of a disaster as new recipe and it was not nice. Munch watched TV for a while after dinner until his cousin called and they played on club penguin until bedtime, Munch got himself ready for bed, we had some of his juice bottle and a cuddle on mummy’s bed story and nite nite followed.

All Boy’s Together

Yesterday mummy and granny had a day out in London and left daddy in charge of Munch. Before we went though Munch had an appointment with the nurse at the doctor’s surgery for his Hep B booster, he was really looking forward to this!!! When we got there though the nurse was not sure why he was having it, I asked her to get his note’s, but there was a great big pile of them so she asked us if we would mind coming back so that she could look at the notes and she would ring me later. When she did ring me later I was annoyed as I was questioned as to my relationship, and when I had taken him before was I his Foster Carer!!!! No we are his parents, we just have not had our day in court yet, I then had to explain that we have joint parental responsibility with his LA. We have a letter saying that we are able to do all things like doctor’s appointments, dentist’s, vaccinations etc, we gave the doctor’s a copy when we first registered Munch, but they want me to take it again aaarrggghhh!!!!!

After that we got ready for our day in London, daddy and Munch run us to the local station, all the way Munch cuddled up to me and when asked fo a cuddle I had a beautiful cuddle before going, and we had a laugh a the little hand waving out of the back wind of daddy’s cab.

We had a fab day doing a bit of shopping in Hamley’s and Harrod’s, in between the two shop’s we had Dorchester, then in the evening we went to see Dirty Dancing, what a fab day.

Munch and daddy had a great day too, they had gone to the Pitch and Putt, but it was closed so they went to Kids Kingdom. After they came home and played some games, they fetched take away for tea. Daddy did Munch’s bath, TV, supper then bed. Munch asked for Sqirrel Nutmeg story, which is about a squirrel who has to be adopted. Daddy really enjoyed his day with Munch so a good time had by all.

Oh Dear!

Yesterday morning from the minute Munch go up he was in a hyper mood going at a 100 miles an hour. He was not to bad just doing everything really quickly.

Later we all got ready and went to the local shopping centre, we went for something to eat, all the time we were out Munch was pushing at the boundaries several times he was asked to do things or not to do things and it would take several times before he would listen. We were going to a shop to get things for Halloween today and a few times I said that if he continued we would not go, on the way to the shop, he kept repeating over and over, please can we go to the —–, I asked him to stop, he carried on, I said that if he carried on we would not go, he carried on whilst laughing, so I said  he had to many chances and that was it we were going home, Munch did not like it at all and at this point I could see we were in for one of his meltdowns, he cried and growled on the way back to the car, he got in and we started off home. When he is in this zone we know that there is no reasoning with him as this just fuels it and we just we have to do to keep him and ourselves safe. Granny though decided that she was to start telling him how if he had listened to mummy and not kept pushing it, Munch by this stage just could not cope with that and hit granny round the head, I had to pull over into a petrol station and get him out of the car, by now he was in his really scary zone where he just cannot control it, I could not let go of him as it was to dangerous, but just holding him by the hand, he was able to hit out, kick, bite, spit so I literally had to get behind him and restrain him. The lady came out from he garage and knocked on the car window to ask if she could do anything. LIKE WHAT!!!!! He eventually seemed to calm so I got him back in the car, only for him to lash out again, so back out of the car we got, I said that we would have to walk home, he was completely out of it, I had to sit at a bus stop and restrain him, it must have taken 1/2 hour to get him to  a calm enough state to get back into the car. He was told that when we got home he was going to his bedroom for a cool down period, if he hit or did anything that he should not the time in the bedroom would be extended, we managed to get home without any incident, and Munch went straight up to his bedroom.

Once up there though he started again, I ended up upstairs with him for a good hour sitting in the door of the bedroom, he threw things at me launch himself at me with his fists and feet on more than one occasion I had to put my hands up to defend myself which sent him reeling back onto he floor, all of which I then got blame for being told that I had done it on perpose!! Eventually I could see that he was trying to regulate himself, so I got him to get his drinks bottle to suck as sucking is very calming. Munch sucked his bottle and then came and sat on my knee and snuggled in whilst sucking on his bottle. Eventually cam was restored 2 hours after meltdown had started.

The rest of the day past without incident, me and daddy made the most of granny being here and had a night out.

Quiet Day

Today the plan was to go to Legoland for the fireworks, but after such busy day’s for the past few day’s I decided that a quiet day was in order. I did not mention it to Munch, nor he to me so it was left at that. I was very glad that we did not go as later on we received a phone call from a fellow adopter friend who was there with her daughter to say that there was a power cut and the park was closing as the power was going to be out for at least 3 hours, so lucky escape is what I say!!!

Munch played on the computer for a lot of the day today, I know bad mummy letting him. We went to Tesco’s to do shopping, whilst there they had a special offer for an Alien’s vs. Monster’s Halloween Special DVD, so I bought it for Munch as he does like to sit and watch a film. What a rip off, it was a whole 20 minutes long!!!! Note to self, remember to check running time when buying DVDs in future. He enjoyed it though which is the main thing.

We spent an hour in the afternoon doing some Halloween picture’s, then back on the computer he went. Munch asked me to do something with him on Club Penguin, he had got up a video on YouTube showing him a mission. When I looked I asked to sit down to look as a though that I was an old video and wanted to check the date, Munch stood up and as I went to sit down got very angry and knocked the coffee I was holding all over the floor. I got a cloth and cleaned it up and was telling him how dangerous it was and trying to explain that I thought the video was out of date when he lashed out, hitting is straight to a 3, so on the step he went, he was very angry about this and as I went passed him kicked, so even though told by our play therapist that once the 7 minutes starts that what ever happen’s it is just that 7 minutes I just thought I am not tolerating this, so told him that his 7 minutes was starting again, to this he howled and called me a f*****g idiot, so I started it a, so I started it again, he lashed out at the dog, so I started it again, he did then calm down, did his time and went to play on the computer again, he looked very tired when I looked at him so I think that the late nights are catching up on him.

Whilst I was preparing dinner Munch played with his ClubIce Hockey game with granny, ate dinner well, played ice hockey again with granny whilst I got his bath ready. Bathed whilst playing with granny, TV, supper, he lost his story for teasing the dog and normal bed time routine. An hour after bed he was calling down for cream, once applied not a peep was heard again.

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