Our 1st Proper Family Holiday and Grampy!!

Well we have just returned from our 1st proper family holiday since Munch arrived, we have had weekends away and I have  been away with him but this was our 1st time with the three of us.

Leading up to the holiday we have had some testing times which resulted in a major meltdown a couple of weeks before we went. Munch completely lost the plot and for the 1st time in what must be a year he was extremely violent, he hit kick spat, bit, you name it and he did it and it took us a long time to calm him down, we just had to stay near and try and remain calm!!

The week leading up to the holiday Munch was very excited and counted down the day’s, the night before we left for Florida we stayed in a hotel near the airport and we had a little boy bouncing off the walls with excitement until midnight and we had to threaten to go home if he did not stop!!!

We  had a lovely week in Florida, Munch was hard work at times, he finds it hard to accept anything nice happening so will often rubbish things and try’s very hard to show no emotion, which we find hard as we were doing our best to make sure he was having a good time. As we only went for a week we gave him the choice of either Universal or Disney, he chose Universal because of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, he would never say a ride was good, would mostly say they were boring, but would talk very excitedly about them!!

We had a few day’s at the pool which Munch really enjoyed, he is very sociable so made friends with other children and had a good time playing with them, after a lovely day by the pool though it was almost like he could not accept that he had a nice day and in the evening would do things to disrupt the evening meal, almost like as if he felt that he did not deserve to have had such a nice day.

Since being back we have had a relatively calm time, Grampy came to visit and I was worried about how Munch would react as his behaviour towards my dad has gradually got worse with each visit until the last visit where he was just awful towards him. I need not have worried he has been lovely with him this time, but he has obviously been stressed by his visit as we have had some tell tale signs of stress from Munch.

I have been doing a course since Christmas on Attachment Focused Parenting with our adoption agency and spoke to one of the therapists there about this, with out going into detail we came to the conclusion that it was a link with his past and feeling let down by one of his grandfathers, that said I am so proud of the effort he has made this visit as it must be very hard for him.

On our 2nd adoption front things are ticking along nicely, we have one HS left to do next week and that should finish off our part nicely, the SW then wants to do a couple of visits with Munch, so hoping now that we should be nearing the end.

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25/12 – Our 1st Family Christmas Day.

It started at 7.05am, when I could hear Munch calling that he was scared, the landing light which is normally left on had been switched off, I went into him, put on his light and as soon as I did that he noticed the filled stocking on his bed and he picked it up and ran into out room and into my space in the bed as quick as a flash.

He started taking the stocking fillers out and was genuinely very excited and pleased with everything, even the sock’s!!! We had been expecting lots of scowls on his face and why has he got me that, and that’s rubbish, we had none, not bad going considering that it had only been in October at his Birthday when he coud not accept a gift graciously. We know it’s down to wha has happened in his past, which I will keep private, but as I have said before it drives me potty.

Then it was downstairs, the armchair had a hand full of presents on for me and daddy and also Christmas presents and birthday presents for the dog as she was 6 today. The armchair was the 1st Munch saw, and he asked if they were all for him, then he looked behind the door at the sofa which was completely full of presents, so much so that they had to be put on the floor as well. When he saw them he said, I know I saw them earlier when Santa was here, oh did you see him said  I, yes said Munch I came down here with him and we talked about the weather!! What imagination they have.

Anyway, so began the present opening, we had discussed staggering it through out the day but decided against it as we felt that it would drive him potty if he wasn’t allowed to open them and would start him off, so we just let him get on with it. He was fab, he was so excited with everything, he never once dissed a gift, and was  genuinely pleased with everything, towards the end when he opened a set of Enid Blyton Secret Seven books, he had a bit of a scowl on his face, so I said I know books are a bit boring, oh no said he I really like them, well done that boy.

After that me and daddy opened out presents, we only had token prezzies off each other as both of us has a bit of a mare getting our prezzie’s for each other and they are al coming after Christmas through no fault of our own. We felt though that we need to have something to open off each other for appearance with it being Munch’s 1st Christmas with us.

The 1st thing Munch wanted to pay with was his big 4×4 Ford Remote Control truck, opened up, battery needed charging for 8 hours so would not be ready till 6pm. So gradually through out the day he used most things, he enjoyed his Gross Majic Tricks, and every now and again came and did one for me. We set up his X Box on his TV in his bedroom so we had an hour peace whilst he played on that. We put together his Electronic Drum and Keyboard Set and were very pleased to find that it played through his headphones and we only had to listen to his singing. We were very glad we had been to Costco’s and brought a variety of batteries last week as so many of the things needed batteries.

Munch decided as it was Christmas Day he did not want to get dressed all day so we left him in his PJ’s for the day and his lovely snuggly Ugg boot slippers that his Aunty and Uncle had sent him from Australia.

The one thing that I wish we had done different was food, it wasn’t a problem, but we had decided before as it was Christmas Day we would let him have what he wants as he has become fussy of late with his food and I did not want to sit down to Christmas Dinner and be nagging. Munch played on this, not in a bad way, but used it to eat lots of sweets and biscuits, when we sat down to dinner, he ate only a few carrots and did not want the rest, and didn’t want anything else. In the end he had a Chicken Pot Noodle for tea. Next time I will treat it as a normal day food wise, usual meals, because I am sure had we not said about him having what he wanted he would have eaten some of his Christmas Dinner. You live and learn.

The rest of the afternoon passed on pleasantly, Munch and Daddy played some of his games he got, we watched some TV. When the battery was finally charged for his Truck daddy and Munch took it on the patio in the back garden for a while.

Munch then asked to go back upstairs at 8pm to play on his  X Box, by now he was getting tired and a little tetchy, he cried because he didn’t know how to get it onto the TV, so we said that he could have 1/2 then it was bedtime, he ended up having more or less an hour, then down for supper and bed.

Well what can I say, our 1st Christmas Day exceeded all our expectation’s, we all had a fantastic day and we were so proud of our son, oh yes, and one more thing, whist daddy and Munch were watching TV in the afternoon, I booked our 1st proper family holiday. We are off to the Dominican Republic in August for 2 weeks, bring it on.

Week 3

Not to much to add this week. We have spoken to our SW a couple of times and she has been busy on our behalves. I am going on holiday this weekend with my mother and niece, so will not blog next week it will be in 2 weeks time the next one.
We got our first CPR to read at the end of last week, will say more in a moment when I do the children and that really is it on the adoption front for this week.
The Children
Boy R5 – our SW has received his CPR and is going to read through it and pass it on to us later in the week if she thinks that he could be right for us. So we are waiting on that.
Boy J8 – Our Sw received a call from this little boys SW asking if we would be interested in having a look. We looked at his flyer, and I had seen this child in the publication’s. I read his CPR and hubby started to read it, but I think that we know from the start that he was not for us. It was very hard and I think being the first CPR that we had read we were wanting it to be right, but there has to be something there for you and that child/ children’s sake, so it was a very sad no.
Job’s
We made a start on the small bedroom and that now has been painted, just the edges, ceiling and wood work to be done. We can then move what furniture is going to go in there in.
Hubby has also made a start on tidying up the front.
I have had a good clear out of my shoes, it was a very sad day for me as i love my shoes, but I had so many they were practically taking up a whole double wardrobe. They are now down to only half a wardrobe!!!
Weight
Weighed in this morning. I am the same weight as last week, whilst disappointed not to have lost, really the way that I ate last week I am luck not to have put on!!!
Not hoping to have lost at the next weight in 2 weeks with being away and them my mum and niece are coming back to stay the following week. Oh god it can only get worse.
Will update again in 2 weeks after my week in Devon xx

WEEK 2

Well 2 weeks in now. The SW was back of her holiday on monday and was on the phone to us on Monday, so good to know we had not been forgotten about. I was working nights so received the voice mail when I woke up. It was too late to phone her, so I phoned her the next day.
The Children
What I shall do here each week is only either add new children we have enquired about, or just up date any that we have heard anything about. I will not go through each group as it will get very tedious if we have nothing to add.
Boy D8, BoyM7, Girl L5 – Well this SW has been in contact with our SW and actually wanted to come out to visit us on 5th August, only 2 weeks time!!!!! We have not even seen their CRP’s yet and I am away on holiday for the week that week anyway, so that was out of the question. I would not let a SW visit without having read a CRP. We know that we have been the only people to enquire about these children and are very wary of being rushes. It is such a big step that we do not intend to let this happen. We still really like what we have seen about these 3 so far though.
Girl S8, Boy C6 These 2 were the children who were from the borough where I was born. Our SW spoke to their FF and spoke about where my family live. To visit my family we would be practical driving past these children’s birth family, so it would be very distressing for them. This has meant that it would be very unpractical, we have had to say good-bye to these 2.
Girl S7, Boy E4, These were on BMP online at the tail end of last week, we emailed their SW and know that as yet our SW has not heard anything from their SW.
Boy R5 Our SW sent this little ones profile out in the post to us and we received it this morning. Although we have always said we wanted more than one, we really liked what we saw. We have phoned and left a message, and emailed, just to make doubly sure that she gets the message and said yes we would be very interested. His SW already has our report but said that she would not read it until we said that we were deffinitly interested, WE ARE!!
Things to do.
  1. We need to get our birth certificates down from the loft so that our SW can enter their numbers on our report
  2. Carpet landing and stairs
  3. Tidy back garden
  4. Tidy front garden
  5. New shed door
  6. Small bedroom
  7. Back bedroom
  8. Shower screen, need either folding or curtain.

Weight

I really need to loss some weight so thought I would track my progress here I have weighed this morning and will weigh every Wednesday from now on. I am also going to try to work towards the Slimming World Fitness awards. I want to loss 85lbs grrrr!!