First Ever Proper Hug!

We had a bit of a lay in this morning as we did not have such an early start, morning went well, Munch even went upstairs, did teeth and dressed himself on his own, and was very pleased with himself to.

He had a very good session with the play therapist, he chose to make bead necklaces, all of which represented his time here. The PT said that he was like a different child today, he worked well with her, he was able to accept things like praise, we then had our session, which was just a general catch up really. So all in all very good, we did the questionnaire we did before we started play therapy which showed the improvement we have made.

Daddy picked Munch up from school today and I nipped to the shop at the same time, they were back before me and as I walked through the door Munch shouted mummy’s home and threw himself at me and gave me the biggest cuddle, what a break through, things that other families so take for grant, something I have never had in the 10 months Munch has been home, a proper heart-felt hug, I could have cried right then, but I managed not to which is good for me.

Daddy took charge of our home from school routine, and boy could you tell it was a rare thing for daddy to do, Munch decided he wasn’t getting changed, so daddy let him stay in his school cloths, I did not interfere because Munch would have jumped on that immediately, then reading, Munch was like he used to be with me and still does occasionally, mumbling, missing lines out, not knowing easy words, daddy just said finish that page, much to Munch’s puzzlement, daddy then wrote in Munch’s reading diary that he had been uncooperative and not read well, Munch really does not like this, so I am sure next time he is reading with daddy he will remember and read properly.

Daddy took the dog for his evening walk, Munch was going to go on his bike, but at the last-minute decided not to, I was busy doing dinner so Munch sat drawing at the kitchen table, we were talking and Munch decided to speak rudely to me, usual speech and step, MUnch pushed me on the way to the step, so I told him firmly that I would not be pushed and for him to go to his room, he said he would not, I said fine, which I think confused him because he immediately said ok then and off he went. He called down to ask how long he had to stay there, until dinner time said I, could he go in our room asked him, no said I and he stayed up till dinner time.

After dinner Munch and daddy went to the shop’s to get Munch’s crisp’s for film club tomorrow, once back Munch went on the computer until it was time for Beaver’s. Afterwards it was supper and bed yet another lovely hug and goodnight kisses, and a very happy mummy.

Tonight I have been colouring the grey roots!! Munch was talking to me as I was doing it, he asked to sleep in our bed, no was my answer, but mummy said Munch, it would be much better for the environment, he does make me laugh sometimes.

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Switching on The Christmas Lights

The day started of well, the play therapist came and her thing, I could hear them in the living room and thing’s seemed a lot calmer than they had been the week before, when finished daddy took Munch to school and we had our usual catch up, this week we talked a lot about helping him to manage things.

I picked Munch up from school and we went straight to our local shopping centre where they were having the grand switching on of the christmas lights. This was something out of the norm for Munch and when we arrived he found it very difficult to cope with, he did his usual thing when he feels out of control, he wanted to go home, then he didn’t, we were going to eat he didn’t want to then he did, he moaned about the restaurants, so I took control and told him that if he was unable to cope we would go home we would not spend all evening with him being as awkward as he could, so I just said to the car now, and marched him back to the car, all the way protested that he didn’t want to go home, I did not respond, I just kep going until we got to the car, opened the door and told him to get in, once he was in, I spoke to him and said that his behaviour that he had been displaying was not allowed and he could decide now whether he wanted to carry on or if he could stop we would go and see the lights, if he decided to stay, if I had to speak to him once more we would go straight home no second chance, he chose to stay, and I think this help him to regulate himself as we had a couple of little moans, but nothing major.

We went to Frankie and Benny’s to eat Munch’s choice, read him the kids menu, don’t know why really as he chose the Spag bol, he always does. Once we had eaten we went to the market square where the events were happening, we had a look around the few stalls, Munch wanted a Santa Claus hat which he wore with pride all night, I said that he could choose something of the toy stall and he chose a mini pool table. We then went to watch what was happening on the stage, we watched some dancer’s, then Hagrid, Dumbldore and Harry Potter made an appearance, Munch was enjoying this until the sound went and he got bored so another walk around the stalls, he had a ride on one of the little ride’s, but I think after riding of the rides he went on a Chessington that Ithink he found them a bit tame. We bought some sweets to eat on the way back to the stage, there was a couple of singer’s, so we had a bit of a dance and sing along, hen Santa, Rudolf and Jack Frost came along and did a bit on stage, towards the end of their bit I think MUnch was getting a bit bored and asked if we could go, but as thee was only about 5 or 10 minutes until the switch on I said we should stay, we joined in the big count down and on came the few light bulbs, there was a lovely firework display which Munch enjoyed, then it was back with the crowds to the car, As we were walking back and we were looking at the lights Munch said “see mummy, I told you they were going o be rubbish” and he wasn’t far of the mark.

Once home Munch wanted to play a game of pool whilst having his supper which we did, the pool game was absolute market rubbish, but Munch really enjoyed it so that was the main thing. Game went on till after bedtime, so straight up, teeth and bed, we had a hug and kiss good-night, when kissing  Munch, I smothered his face all over and kept going, he was really giggling, when we said good nigh he said “that was great fun”. Later on when I looked in on him, Munch was fast asleep wearing his Claus hat, looking even cuter, if that’s possible, than ever.

 

So Begin’s The Week

This morning Munch was still asleep when I go up so I left him in bed for a while. The morning was very pleasant and we got to school all in good spirits.

After school we once home we did Munch’s reading, he was not in a cooperative mood, so I told him to read it as he wanted to and that I would just write in the book how he had read, he was mumbling his words, saying them very quietly, missing out whole lines and making out he was unable to read some words that I know he know’s, I just did not rise to it and told him again what I was going to write, half way through, he gave up and read well, no point not reading well when it is not getting you the attention he wants. I wrote what I said I was going to in his book, which will be a good deterrent in future as he does not like to look bad at school. Reading finished we did some subtraction’s which he did well and some spelling’s which I myself have decided to start doing with him as his spelling is appalling and I feel that he needs help, so I am going to start off with 5 words a week and see how we go.

Once all that was out-of-the-way we did Munch’s special time play, this is where we play what Munch wants to  do, and I do what he wants, he is totally in control, the theory is if we give him this time of control, he will feel less like he has to try to take control at other times. I had on the request of the play therapist I had bought Munch a tube of Lego today to add to his already very large collection of Lego, Munch had spotted this so wanted to play with it, I took my lead from him and built what he asked me to, whilst building himself, he kept getting very annoyed with himself when things were not going as he wanted them to, he started hitting himself and saying he was an idiot, I kept saying to him he was doing really well, that the good thing about Lego was that if it was not right you can change it and build it stronger, we had a few episode, but with lots of reassurance he got through them, they were all direct at himself. When we had finished he carried on playing with the Lego on his own.

Tea, bath, and bedtime routine went well, I sat on Munch’s bed and he cuddled in whilst having his story and he asked for 5 minutes snuggle time afterwards which I gladly did, we did our cream after that, lots of massaging in his cream, lovely hug and kisses, wow, lots of positive touch this evening, and one happy mummy.

Best laid Plan’s…..

Munch was very good this morning and stayed in bed watching his TV until I went in to him at 9am. We came down and watched a bit more TV whilst having breakfast.

By the time breakfast was finished daddy was awake so Munch went up to see him, in the mean time I had told Munch my plan’s to either go to Madame Tussaud’s or to  the Science Museum. Munch said that he wanted to do neither, he wanted to go swimming, I did not fancy it as last time we went it was freezing. Daddy said that he would take him and go into work later on, one happy mummy.

For a while daddy and Munch played a bit of rough and tumble in the living room, Munch is very toddler like sometimes in his play as this is yet another of the area’s that he missed out in his early years. Trouble is whilst it is good to regress with him, it can be hard to keep him in check and very easy for him to go over the top and find it hard to calm himself down again, he was asked several times to calm a little before he hurt himself or daddy, twice he went slap on the floor, the 2nd time he did hurt himself. He would not take any form of soothing or help, this is another of the area’s that need’s a lot of work on, he is unable to accept comfort at all and it is so hard to see when you desperately want to help make it better, and just scoop him up and give him a great big cuddle, maybe one day.

We all got ready and I went along to watch, Munch is coming along so well with his swimming now and for the first time managed to swim a bit with out his armbands, when I think of all the money we spent on swimming lesson’s for 20 weeks when he first came, they were such a waste off money, he has come on so much better with us taking him ourselves. I just love watching him in the pool, he is so confident in the water and given half a chance would spend all day in there if he could.

We went to the pool cafe and ate afterwards. There was  some sort of Karate competition being help at the sports centre and Munch kept saying that he wants to do it and could we find out about it for him. All the way home he kept asking, we had already said that we would, daddy and I were talking and all of a sudden, I had 2 big kicks in the back of the chair, I gave the body language is all wrong, that not allowed, step as soon as we get in, just for a very cocky little boy to say but I was trying to speak to you, that’s not the way to go about getting my attention!!

Home 7 minutes on the step done and Munch practiced his magic on daddy until it was time for us to take daddy to pick up his taxi. On the way back we stopped in the shops to pick up a few bits and pieces, Munch managed to speak in a rude voice again so ended up on the step as soon as we got in.

After that we settled down to a quiet couple of hours before bed, we watched The Nightmare before Christmas, then Munch found a Scooby Doo film, this took him up to bedtime, so he was let of his bath fo 1 night.

Munch was in desperate need of his toe nails to be cut, we have done them a few times since he has been here without a fuss, I have tried to do them a few times of late, and every time he has made a fuss and not let me, I can see that it is a control issue, and again tonight we had the same issue, it was definitely him trying to control what was happening, but his toe nails have now got so long that they really needed doing, he would not let me snacking his foot away every time I went to clip. This went on until I have to say that I lost it with him, it was such a silly thing to loss it over, but knowing that we had done it several times before with out an issue tipped me over the edge, I left them room after shouting at him, said that he would just have to have long toe nails, and when they started to hurt he could go to the doctors. Oh dear, how childish was I, and an issue to talk to the play therapist about Tuesday.

Once downstairs I have to say I shut the living room door and just sat feeling very bad, Munch kept calling but I ignored him until in the end he actually came and stood at the bottom of the stairs, he has never come down once in bed since he has been here. He was crying with real tears, only the second time I have seen him do that as well since he has been here and saying I want a hug and kiss, so I said come on let’s go back to bed, and for the 1st time ever I had a big proper hug, where he hugged me back as well, I kissed him on the head with out him, yelling get off, what a break though!!

I said what a silly pickle we have got ourselves into over a couple of toe nails, he let me cut them and we had another cuddle and kiss good-night. It was like afterwards he decided that he liked the hugs as he called down saying he felt poorly and needed a hug again, which I did, in the end he has ended up in mummy and daddy’s bed, but we will be putting him back in his own bed when we go up.

The Weekend is here.

This morning started well – NOT. On none school mornings Munch has to stay in his room until 9am, he gets to stay up an hour later the night before so an extra hour in bed is not an unreasonable request. Daddy works until 3 or 4 in the morning, can sometimes be earlier, sometimes later. Because of this we ask Munch to stay in his room until I get him up on school day’s, on Saturday’s can knock at 9am and Sunday’s is allowed to come into bed with us at 9am for 1/2 hour. Over the last few weeks Munch has taken to going into our room in the mornings and jumping very roughly on daddy to wake him up, because of this he has been told that until further notice even on the weekends he is to wait until I come at 9am in his room.

This morning the 1st knock was at 7.30am, sent back, another 3 times, finally at 8.55am I sent him to the step. Now when he has to wait in his room until it’s time to get up, he is allowed to play or put his TV on, it’s not like we are asking him to stay in bed. The other thing that he does is alter the time on his clock so that it say’s 9am, he has been told no to do it but still does and is still amazed when I tell him I know what he has done, he still can’t work that one out!!

Breakfast done, a bit of a lazy start to Saturday morning with Munch watching TV. I went upstairs to get ready, by now daddy was awake so Munch was allowed to go in with daddy and watch TV, they had a tube of cheesy biscuits they were sharing, Munch still finds it really hard to share because of some past experiences, and we are working slowly but surely to improve this, he was doing well at first, but after a while decided that he was going to start licking biscuits and putting them back in the tube and mixing them in, a ploy to stop daddy having anymore, so he was told that this was not acceptable and that now nobody could eat any and biscuits were put in the bin. This started Munch shouting so he was told that he was speaking in a rude voice and it is not allowed, step, as it was the 1st time since we started this new way of dealing with his behaviour that daddy had sent him to the step, we had lots of banging and screeching at the door, but we ignored it. Up stairs afterwards to get dressed then we were ready to go out.

We went to the local shopping centre, Munch’s £3 pocket-money was burning a hole in his pocket so he brought a club penguin book, we went for something to eat, then just for a look around the shops. In one of the shop’s Munch ran up behind me and pushed me really hard, que your body language is wrong, straight home and on the step, felt a bit like rewarding him though as I think he was ready to go home anyway. Once home he sat straight on the step.

This afternoon has been very nice, first Munch played on the computer, then sat and did some drawing and writing, we had one incident, where I said that I was going to give him a kiss and he said if I did he would spit in my face, as soon as he said it though, his hand flew up to his face with a big oh. He was walking to the step before I even began my speech! I should point out here that Munch find’s it very hard to be touched or hugged or receive kisses from us. Even now 10 months down the line he will scream if we touch him, it is getting better, but we have worked long and hard to improve it, he will often hit out or as above make threats if he thinks we are going to touch him in any way, it is heart breaking, because all we want to do is give him big hugs and cuddles, but small steps have to be taken and slowly. We are for ever saying to him, that if he does not like something all he has to do is say and not lash out.

The rest of the evening has passed nicely, we have watched strictly Come Dancing whilst eating Pepperoni Pizza, then Merlin before bed.

Not to bad a day today, let’s hope we have the same tomorrow.

Dare I Say it…..

We have had another good day here. Few wake up calls before 9am but sent back to bed. Afterwards up and breakfast. Dressed and bike ride with daddy whilst he walked the day.

Munch played on the Wii for a while whilst we had a cuppa before we all went to pick up daddy’s cab. Daddy went off to work whilst me and Munch went and did a bit of shopping. We then called in to see a friend who had been one of our references, it was the 1st time she had met Munch. He was really well-behaved, he put on his usual front, but it was not half as bad as normal.

When we got home I asked Munch to entertain himself as I needed to as Granny is coming tomorrow to stay, this he did lovely, he played upstairs for a while then downstairs making a huge mountain out of my pile of ironing!!!  At one point I asked Munch for a cuddle and got a lovely one, a real 1st for him to just come and give me one.

After tea Munch went on the computer whilst speaking to his cousin on the phone, said goodbye when told to had his supper and off to bed. We had a lovely goodnight hug and kisses, Munch then called me back saying I had cuddled him and he wanted to cuddle me, after the cuddle he then went on to kiss me on the cheek put in a totally inappropriate way, I asked him to stop but he continued, I repeated several times  that is not how son’s kiss their mummy’s, but he continued laughing and kept saying ‘scardy cat’, I left the room and on the way out of the room said that I was sad that even though I had asked him not to kiss me like that and why, he had continued to do so. Half way down the stairs I got a ‘sorry mummy’.

A little while after he had been in bed Munch started calling down saying he need cream for a poorly, I think it was more to do with not liking to go to sleep on a bad note, and needed me to go up and show him I was not cross and everything was ok.

And Another Good One!!

We had a visit during the night as Munch had a nose bleed. I moped him up and took  him back to his bed with a toilet roll and we did not hear another peep until he knocked on the door and came into our bedroom armed with his clock to show us that it was 9am.

Munch and daddy got up and left me in bed for a nice lay in. I could hear them laughing and playing downstairs. Munch came up every now and again to tell me what was happening. A little later they got themselves ready and off they went swimming whilst i had a nice couple of hours peace and quiet.

When they got back Munch came in and gave me the biggest hug, that was such a big break through for our little man and even know a good few hours later I find myself grinning about it. We all watched a bit of TV, Munch used the computer, then it was time for dinner.

After that normal evening routine, bath, TV, supper, teeth, bed, we had a little incident whilst getting into bed where he pushed me. This has happened several times lately, so I had words with him. This started him shouting at me, I put down his book and told him that I  was fed up with being shouted at and if that was how he was going to speak to me, I was not going to stay and left the room. Munch called down that he was sorry and please could he have his story, so I went back up and said on this occasion I would read to him. He listened well and again I had a lovely goodnight hug and lovely kisses.

One glowing mummy signing off…….