Easter Catch Up

So a bit of a catch up since my last post, things have been relativity calm here of late, we had a couple of weeks where Munch was particularly rude and uncooperative, this coupled with nose-bleeds, lots of cloths chewing and constantly being called aside by his teacher told us that something was going on in his little head, so lots of wondering out loud, trying to be as empathetic as possible – not all ways easy – and reigning things in. We tightened boundaries and structure, we made everything visual and this seems to have done the trick, we now have a much calmer Munch on our hands.

The start of the Easter holiday’s were a bit tricky, think I was on my way to a mini breakdown, so I am sure everything felt a lot worse than it was, thanks to hubby taking charge though and taking a couple of nights off work things improved and we got on with enjoying the holiday.

The 2nd week Munch attended his Karate school and worked very hard all week and is now the proud owner of a purple tag belt. He also has a very proud mummy and daddy.

News on our 2nd adoption is that our 2 HS visits has now turned into 5!! We just have a few loose ends to fill in on our 5th visit which should have been this week but clashed with an invite out to afternoon tea with my ex-work colleagues and as I don’t get out much these day’s I was not tuning it down.

Our SW came out and did a session with Munch yesterday which went better than I thought as I did think he may be uncooperative, but he wasn’t, the SW asked him lots of questions about like where would his little sister sit at the table, where abouts in the living room, where was she going to sleep, what about if she wanted a different programme on to him, about bath and bedtime, all of which he really though about.

The SW also told him stories about me and his daddy when we were getting ready for him to come, and it was lovely, he hung on to every word she said.

SW is coming to visit him in 2 weeks again and is hoping to get us to panel in June and has told us to start looking at children!! Our AUK membership was up for renewal so we subscribed to Children Who Wait as well and have started looking.

1st Half Term in Juniors.

Can you believe we are at the half term mark already!!

Well not such a successful 1st half term in the Junior’s for Munch. There has not been a week when I have not been called aside by his teacher because of his behaviour at break times. Time and time I have tried to explain why he is unable to manage the unstructured time but it seems to be falling on deaf ears. I have tried putting the ball in the court and asking what they are going to do to help him manage this time, and it also feels like he is beginning to become a bit of a scape-goat – all ready labelled so lets blame him.

Anyway after yet another incident on the last day of the half term, I have said that I want a meeting. I have been busy downloading and print stuff of the Internet about attachment and have been tying to strengthen my knowledge and understanding of how Munch’s past life experiences have affected him. I have made 2 copies of everything I have printed off and intend to take in the extra copy to the school and ask the teacher to read it. I have also order Inside I’m Hurting:  Practical  Strategies for Supporting Children with Attachment Difficulties in Schools by Louise Bomber which has been dispatched today, so hoping it will come tomorrow so it will give me a while to read it and take what I need out of it before I meet h his teacher.

Work wise he is doing really well though and Munch himself is really enjoying as he puts it the harder work that they do in the Junior’s. He also gets on well with his homework which I though we might have a problem with but a the moment he is enjoying doing it.

On Friday we also received a letter from the family therapist at CAMHS, Munch’s case had been reviewed and it was decided that he needed to have Child Psychotherapy, they have a long waiting list though so were unable to accept him onto it!!!! We have an appointment to meet with the family therapist next month to discuss what we want to do, she did not fill me with confidence that last time, so some more work to do there I intend to write every thing down before I go so that I do not get all tongue tied and let them fob me off.

Munch is doing a weeks Karate School this week, he is still doing very well with his Karate, even after the set back of breaking his arm over the summer. And on the subject of that, last week at school he fell and has really hurt it again, we went to A & E and it was x-rayed, the registrar came and looked at the x-ray and said it was fine, just to come back for an outpatients appointment in 2 weeks, a week on though he is still unable to move it properly and is still in pain, so we have a doctor’s appointment for the morning.

Last thing, tomorrow is the day of the team meeting where they will discuss whether we will be accepted onto the books so to speak of the LA on the road to no. 2, fingers crossed +++++++

Back to School Routine, Munch did Not Cope Well.

This morning started off well enough, Munch got up in a good mood, he tried to say that he was feeling sick, but mummy knew better, especially as he ate all his breakfast.  Munch was happily writing at the table and got ready for school no problem at all.

After school was a different matter though, whether it was the fact that we have had a very odd few weeks and then going back into the routine of school I don’t know but when we got in we started his reading, he was very unco-operative, he was missing words,  reading in gibberish, pretending not to know words that I know he know’s very well. So I just shut his book and said that if that was the mood he was in there was no point in carrying on and I would just write in his book just that, start of the pleading, ‘no mummy, I will read’, so second chance given, no change, so I stopped. Munch now started pushing and getting aggressive so it was – Step, he was pushing and trying to bite me so I just took him to the step and tried to put me and the dog into the living room out off his way, he dived into he living room and when I told him to go back to the step, he said no, I just manoeuvred him to the step and said his 7 minutes would start when he was on the step. I had to stand with my back to the door, he eventually got the message and went and sat on the step and did his time.

After his time up, he did wanted to read and did finnish his reading, if not as well as I know he can, as well as could be expected given his mood. I do write how he has read in the book though, and did say to start he had been uncooperative.

His mood continued he was being very contrary, wanting, then not wanting, jus being very whinny and trying to control situations all evening, I had ordered new ice boots for him as his one I had bought were to big and wanted him to try them on, he put on a big show of not being able to get them on, whilst making no effort, I was not being drawn in, so just said to leave it for now, and as we were putting them down, he accused me of strangling him, in a very aggressive tone, so he know’s this is wrong and was sent to the step, he immediately tried to change not what he had said but how he had ment it, but blaming people for things means the step, so step it was.

After his second sit on the step Munch seemed to have calmed a little, he tried on his ice boots, and then went to watch TV, which he did quietly until dinner. A dinner we had an incident where he knocked some of his food on to the table, you would have thought he had lost the lot by the way he carried on, he wailed, he wasn’t eating anymore, stropped away from the table, a complete over reaction, I just talked very calmly and we put the food back onto his plate,took off his cloths as they had gravy on and we managed to finish dinner in a civilized way!!

Munch went back to watching TV whilst I got his karate gear ready, I spoke to him whilst he was watching Tv, and again he shouted aggressively that he was watching TV, so he got sent to the step again as he is not allowed to talk to people like that, and just writing this down has made me remember, that the one thing our play therapist had us doing when things were bad and it worked quickly was  – your being rude with your voice – that’s not allowed – STEP, and your being something with your body – that’s not allowed – STEP. Can’t remember the wording we used so will have to get out my note-book and look it up and go back to it as it worked a treat before, and we have found that it is better to get on top of this behaviour then let it take hold and get out of hand which it can quite quickly.

After that karate went well, home and his usual TV before bed, story and he asked for snuggle time and cream time tonight, so 5 minutes before lights out we did snuggle time which consisted of doing This Little Piggy, and Round and Round the Garden so a bit of regression needed tonight, then a lovely massage with his special cream, so nice and tactile.

One thing that I have not mentioned for a while is that we still have the constant calling down each night for a good 1-2 hours, tonight it was only for 1/2 hour, so maybe the nice relaxing massage helped just before light out, so will try this again.

19/1 – Arranging Karate Lessons

Today started well, and we had a pleasant morning before school.

Daddy picked Munch up from school and as soon as he came in he was straight upstairs and onto his Harry Potter Lego game on the XBox. Daddy and I had already discussed doing his reading later, after daddy has gone to work, rather than as soon as he gets in, so we will be giving this a trial run to see how it works, anyway problem was solved as he had not brough home his reading diary or his learning diary. I shall be checking his bag before he leaves school tomorrow as this is one of his little ploy’s to get out of doing the work. I would not mind, but it’s not as if we push, as long as he is doing his reading which is what his school expects, with his learning diary, which is a subject that they are given every Friday to do with what they are doing at school, we will talk about it, I will give him any help he asks for and then when he has finished as long as he is happy with what he has done so are we, at the moment I feel we have much more to worry about and be working on than his home work. Some times its 5 minutes and its done, other times he will spend a long tome on it so we will for the time being do as we are doing on the homework front.

When Munch had finished with his Xbox, he asked if we could bake some cakes, which we did, he watched TV whilst they were cooking, then had great fun decorating them when they were finished he proudly gave one each to me and daddy and then had 2 himself (they were very small).

Ever since Munch has been here he has talked about Karate, we have spoken before about him doing it but we were a bit unsure, anyway we decided to phone up a local group, hubby spoke to the leader who said to bring him along and to have a look a bit of a join in, the only thing he said was that the area where we live is a big into football so the youngest they had at the moment was 14 years, double Munch’s, anyway we though we would take him along anyway, we had picked this club because of the time as it was 6.30 -7.30, where the others were all later times.

Off we went leaving 1/2 hour early so we could meet the leader, as it was it took us that whole 1/2 hour to find the place, and then once in the building we had to find them as the receptionist sent us to the ballroom dancing lessons!!! When we finally found them they had already gone in but there was a different club that had just finished and they had lots of littley that were around Munch’s age, we spoke to them and have decided they would be much more suitable and Munch was happier that there were other children there, so we will go back again next week.

Back home Munch had another of his little cakes for supper before heading off for bed.