Another busy Tuesday

Well after Munch went to bed so early and slept at midnight, he came in as happy as Larry saying that he was scared, I took him back to bed he got in and slept till 8am this morning. I had an interesting conversation about this with the Play Therapist this morning, she was saying how emotions are learnt and how he has not learn how to react appropriately to his emotions, i.e being happy when scared, inappropriate laughing just to name a couple.

Anyway up got Munch and our morning went without incident until the Play Therapist arrived, I could hear him being extremely aggressive with her, he was swearing, just being how he has with us over the last couple of weeks. As she said afterwards you cannot just wipe out 5 years of extreme trauma and abuse, and it is going to surface every now and again, that she would be more worried if it did not.

We talked about going back to the basic’s again, re doing all that we did in those 1st 10 week sessions, thing’s like snuggle time that have naturally petered out, back to using sucking as a calming technique, being very firm with our boundaries which is what Munch needs. The trouble is, and we have talked about this before is that when thing’s improve you tend to let down your guard, and you cannot give Munch an inch.

We also talked about his very low self-esteem, about how over the last couple of weeks he has been saying that he is an idiot and hitting himself, I told her how at one point I had just said to Munch that I wasn’t going there today, and that had calmed him a little, she said it was a good way to deal with it as to keep saying, no you’re not ect will just fuel him, and also to use our calming techniques.

Whilst the having his Play Therapy the post arrived along with all our court paper work as the fee has now gone up and the paper work we had received still had the old fee on it!!!! So back to the post office again, with paper work and a cheque for the correct fee this time.

Ok, so Munch has been in 10 minutes, he has already sworn, so had swearing is not allowed – step, for which I got a slap so he is now upstairs in his room where he has been sent for the next 15 minutes. When time was up Munch stayed upstairs playing.

We had tea then off for his 1st gymnastic’s session at school, when we got back from that Munch wanted to play his Xbox game he had been playing earlier, so off upstairs he went until Beavers. Tonight when we got to Beavers he really did not want to go in, he was pushing me and say he didn’t want to go, even when we got in there he was saying please can we go home, which is very unlike him, he always say’s he doesn’t want to go on Beaver’s night as he does with anything because he lack confidence, but normal there is no fuss and as soon as we get to the gate he is off playing with the others. He was fine when I picked him up and had enjoyed himself.

Back indoor’s the bedtime routine went well, I tried to put some fun into it and we had a laugh, then for a reason only known to Munch he put his woggle down the toilet, was extremely babyish around getting undressed and then threw a little hard ball at me which hit me on the neck and hurt, so he lost 1/2 hour off his bedtime tomorrow. A hug and kiss and he is now quiet upstairs.


Another Milestone – Adoption Order Papers sent to Court.

Well what a week it has been in the Munch household.

It started on Monday getting the good news that Play therapy was recommencing the very next day, woo hoo.

Munch has been in a bit of a strange place all week, we had a review today and we don’t normally tell Munch hat his SW is here until we pick him up from school on the day his SW is visiting as it worries him and he will be awake all the night before with pain’s in his legs. As he was off school today we had to tell him earlier so that he knew what was happening, so all week we have had him trying to control,  he has also been in a very contrary mood.

Play Therapy went well and it was good to start again, the Play Therapist said that she noticed a difference in how polite Munch was being, whilst she was here our SW arrived. I had forgotten that we had arranged this visit before Christmas

One the Play Therapist had left myself and our SW got to work on the Disability Living Allowance forms for Munch, it’s when we were filling in these forms, which are long and tedious that it makes you realise how different Munch is from other children, I think that we have got so used to living with his anxieties and behaviours that it has become the norm for us, writing it all down on paper made me realise just how traumatized our poor little boy is.

After school we Munch had his yearly Looked After Child medical at the Doctor’s, and then we had the dentist after that it was home and getting ready for Beaver’s, so in all it was a very busy day on Tuesday.

Wednesday Munch was in fine form, he tried to be controlling, he tried to be very contrary and by bedtime, I was worn out with it all, step was used, he hit daddy in the face knocking his glasses flying, kicked the dog, hit out at me, so he was sent to his room for 1/2 hour. Later in bed, he was an absolute nightmare trying to get him to go to sleep, he just kept calling, wanting hugs, but not really hugging he was back to making a show of hugging but not waning to be close, arm across his body, face turned as far away as he could, yet would not let go and having to be prized off. Then he was hitting himself and saying I’m an idiot, you think I’m an idiot, I’m a f–king idiot, you done even like me, you say you love me but you don’t really you just lie, and he kept saying them over and over again and hitting himself, he just has such low self-esteem, I eventually got him to calm down and sleep, about an hour later I could hear him crying and when I went up he was standing on the landing saying what is it, get it away from me and waving his arms around like mad, I just said its ok come on back to bed and he went without a fuse.

Thursday was a better day, but if I am honest, I coped out a bit and because I knew he was going to be extremely anxious and not in a good place because of the impending SW visit he next day, I just let him use the computer all evening, bad mummy, until TV time before bed.

And then today, another milestone for us, 1 year since Munch actually moved in with us and we posted our Adoption Order papers off to the court today!!!!!!

Our review went very well, we had a new reviewing Officer who was fab, he wants it in writing that he feels that once our present 10 sessions of Play Therapy are over, that they should look in to whether the Play Therapist would visit us once every 8 weeks for at least the next year, just to give us on going support, he also wanted it down that everyone feels that direct contact with one of Munch’s paternal grandmothers is not in Munch’s best interest, and in fact is the complete opposite, we have always from the very 1st visit that we had with Munch’s SW and Family finder said that we were open to direct contact as long as it was in his best interest.

Munch never has mentioned this Grandmother, it was a court directive and the reviewing officer said that he feels it needs to be documented so that if the Grandmother decided at a later date to try to get contact through the courts that it would help us if we have documentation to say that it is not in his best interest.

Daddy had taken Munch out whilst the review was on, I then went and met them, together we all went to the Post Office to get our papers sent Special Delivery and afterwards went and had something to eat, home and daddy has gone for a few drinks and I am off to bed.