22/1 – Munch’s 1st Wedding.

Today started in the very early hours of the morning when Munch came into the bedroom saying very cheery that he was scared, I went back to his room with him tucked him back in and off he went to sleep. 1/2 hour later in he came again, this time he was crying and what can only be described as howling, he just got into bed with me (daddy still was not home from work) and was shaking his legs saying that they were hurting, I tried rubbing them, but that made him howl more, he then started saying that it was his knee’s, still crying still howling. Then it was his nose, this went on for a good 15 minutes, he kept hitting me and saying my nose, he would take no comfort. In the end I picked him up and carried him back to his room, he was still crying and howling, he was saying my nose, I can’t breath shouting it over and over again, I got him tissues and told him to blow his nose, he just threw them, then he stared throwing his teddies at me, was in full meltdown mode by now, he was shouting get out of my room, but the slightest move even though I was going nowhere, he was yelling no don’t leave me, I just said I am not going anywhere, I am just going to stand here where you can see me, he carried on shouting, crying and howling, but stopped throwing thing or telling me to get out, when he had calmed just a little and was just making a noise, I said right I am going into my room I will come back in 5 minutes. As soon as I left he room he was quiet, I waited for it to start again, but it didn’t, by then though I was unable to get back to sleep as he slightest little thing had me thinking here we go again.

Then hubby came in for work so silly o’clock I ended up getting up and having a cuppa with him, back to bed and I went into the spare room, so I did not have to listen to hubby snoring as I was shattered by then, hubby put the TV on in our room so I could hear the mummering through the wall, and I was just in that state where anything was keeping me awake, after an hour of listening to this I went in to ask him how much TV he was going to watch and he was sound asleep!!!!!

Got up a bit later than intended, we had a Wedding to go to today, it was a 12 noon start and we had a little way to travel, so we spent all morning getting ready. Munch is not good with new situations, so was a little hyper during the morning and me and hubby had discussed that we though we would see how thing’s were going and if we needed to we would leave if it was all getting too much for Munch.

As it was we had a great day, they were all brand new people for Munch as it was a friend I used to work with getting married, it was lovely as there were friends there who we had not seen for years, most of them I keep in touch with through Facebook, but one who I had not seen for a long time, when I was talking to her Munch called me, is he yours she said, yes said I how old is he said she, 7 said I, Oh, I didn’t realise it had been that long since I saw you last said she, he’s only been my son for a year said I, oh said she and off she went looking rather puzzled!!!! A fair bit had been drunk by then.

We were sat on a table with a friend’s of our’s who had moved up North a few years ago, and their 2 children, their daughter was the bridesmaid, and Munch and them were the only children there. Munch was on the whole very good with their 2-year-old and looked after him all day and also got on really well with the daughter who is a year  older than him.

Munch was well-behaved most of the time but was his usual self when in public, on the go all the time, loud in a look at me sort of way and very attention seeking from everyone. I had an interesting conversation with someone who I knew, but not very well, and because we were all siting together picked up on our situation, he asked if I minded him asking if Munch had a diagnosis, no said I like what, he said it’s just that I work with children with ADHD and he display’s a lot of the same characteristic’s, I was not at all offended as I think he though I was going to be, and I would not be at all surprised if Munch had, I read an article the other day which gave pointer’s to look out for and at the time though, oh dear Munch has them all.

We had one mini meltdown by Munch’s standard’s when he was told off by daddy for taking the little one’s balloon’s off him, he was crying and shouting, hitting out, I eventually, got him to come out to a quiet place with me where I spoke to him and calmed him down. We decided to give to stay a little longer to see how he went, and he was as good as gold for the rest of the night, enjoyed the fact he was able to go and get a drink when ever he wanted, he kept asking for a beer every time he went up, and came away with  juice or pop, but 10 out of 10 for persistence. He enjoyed the buffet, he joined in with some of the dancing, and made ever one laugh when at the end of the night after all he buffet had been taken away off he took himself up to the bar and came back with a plate of Chicken Curry!!!

Back at home, I had to rush to the loo and 30 second’s later Munch was behind me saying he was so shattered he just wanted to go to bed, no supper, no nothing, that has never happened before, no matter what with Munch he has alway’s had to have his 4 eat’s as he say’s, typical of a child who has at one time or another been starved, he even had to have supper when we went to my cousin’s 40th Birthday Party and because they put on coach’s we did not get back to granny’s until 2 am, so  for the 1st time ever in over a year he felt safe enough to go to bed with out supper, may not seem anything to most people to us that was such a big step.

The High’s and Then Very Low Finish to the Weekend.

We had a lovely Saturday, we got up early and me and Munch had a lift off daddy up to Madame Tussaud’s, it was not somewhere I would have taken Munch but as we have Merlin Annual Passes had nothing to lose and he did enjoy it even though he didn’t know who the wax models were. He enjoyed the taxi ride and 4D film at the end. I always find rides are good for our attachment as well as Munch always wants you to hold him really tightly, I think this is because he has an valide reason for you to cuddle him.

Afterwards we went to the Science Museum and again he liked it here, we only saw a very small part of it as he was very interested in the Launch Pad area were it has lots of interactive things for children to do and also the area to do with Space, so I can see lots of visits to the Science Museum happening.

He was well-behaved all day and the few little bits of attitude we had were easily dealt with by saying that we would have to go home if they continued and he did not want to go home.

Sunday started off well, Munch used the computer for a short while, then watched a film, St Trinian’s of all film’s, but he was engrossed in it so I left him to it, then we went swimming.

His swimming is coming on a treat, he is very confident now and does not need his armbands at all, he is swimming a little on his own and I am sure with a few more visits before we go away he is going to just love the pool.

On the way home Munch’s attitude was that of a stroppy teenager again, so he was told that as soon as we got in he was to go on his step, he then though it was going to be a good idea and mimic me in a silly voice about the step, he didn’t think it was such a good idea when he was told that instead of 7 minutes on the step he had earned himself 30 minutes upstairs.

After his 30 minutes upstairs he watch Aliens vs. Monsters, we had dinner, then played Junior Monopoly, before his usual TV before bed. Daddy came home from work and Munch asked if rather than TV we could play a game of Monopoly again which we agreed to.

After supper was had and up to get ready for bed Munch went, all going very pleasantly. Munch went into he bathroom and hid behind the bathroom door, something he used to do all the time, but has not done for a long time. I went in put his toothpaste on his brush and called him, he came from behind the door and I was standing with my back to it and pushed me really hard making me stumble forward a little as I was not expecting it, now normally it would have been you cannot push people like that, it is not allowed – step, but as it was bedtime and I felt that he had been playing for time at supper, sending him to sit on the step would have been playing right into his hands, so I said that it was wrong and that tomorrow night he would come to bed at 7.30 instead of 8pm, He just flipped he started hitting and kicking and swearing, saying it had been an accident, I was in his way, I explained to him that all he had to do was say excuse me please and I would have moved, which made him rage more, I said that hitting and being aggressive was not allowed so knocked another 1/2 off his bedtime, he started hitting and saying unless I let him go to bed at 8.30pm he was no going to stop, by then I had got him in his bedroom, he was pulling my hair, hitting and kicking, kept repeating that if I didn’t let him stay up until 8.30 he was going to carry on, every time I tried to leave the room he had hold of my clothing or my hair and was screaming for me not to go, then he was biting. I just kept saying no he was going to bed at 7pm tomorrow as he could no expect go behave like this and stay up late, he had to take the consequences of his action’s. I picked him up and put him into his bed as he was refusing to get in, he had hold of my hair in both hands pulling so hard, where do they get teir strenght from when they are having these meltdowns!!!! Now this where I am not very proud of myself, but he was pulling so hard and I could not get him to let go, that I pulled his hair back, and the shock of it made him let go immediately, he said you are not allowed to hurt me, I just said but you were really hurting me and now you know what it feels like, I just said our usual goodnight blardy blar, and left the room, feeling horrible with what I had done.

I left it for 15 minutes and went upstairs on the pretence of going to the loo as Munch had been very quiet, and that has not been him just lately when in bed. As I was going upstairs, he asked is that you mummy in the sweetessed of voices as if nothing had happened, I went in he was playing his DS in bed, I apologies for pulling his hair, he asked if he could stay up till his normal time tomorrow, I stuck to my gun’s and said no, told him that he should not be playing his DS in bed and he was to finnish what he was doing and put it down, there was no calling out or anything afterwards, he jus finished and went off to sleep.

I hold my hands up and say I was completely at a loss as how to handle the situation, thank goodness for our Play Therapist, it shall be top of my agenda on Tuesday to get some help and guidance on how to deal with things when step is playing right into his hands.

So the weekend started on a high and ended up on a an extreme low 😦

9/12 – Work Christmas Do!!

This morning started well and everything was going smoothly until just before we had to leave, Munch had found a piece of Christmas wrapping paper in the living room this morning from when I had been wrapping presents the previous night he took it up in his bedroom to wrap a present for me very sweet, a bit of the present was my phone, we needed to leave and I asked Munch several times to come down, and he just kept saying he needed to finish wrapping my present, I told him he could finish it when he came home and to come down, he eventually came down got on his coat, all with lots of attitude, I asked him to go and fetch my phone, he went upstairs and there was lots of noisy crocodile crying, screaming that he could not find it, I knew very well that he knew where it was, so up I went and looked under the piece of wrapping paper, not there, I asked him where it was, by now I could see one of his meltdowns coming, he still said that he did not know where it was, and in the way he was creating and the noises he was making, it was into self preservation mode. I spotted my phone under some of his things and picked it up, and that was the action that sent him over the top, he lashed out with his fists he was swearing, I just stay very calm and told him it was not allowed in a very firm voice trying not to shout, I stuck to the 7 minutes on the step and moved him in that direction whilst trying to keep out of arms reach, he did go to the step though whilst still screaming and shouting and using very fowl language by now daddy who had only come in from work a few hours ago came out and started, now I know he was tired and wanted to sleep, but Munch was going to the step and would have calmed, but daddy yelling and shouting that he was not going to take this sort of behaviour did not help it just started Munch on one of his manic laughing session’s with a few F words thrown in. Daddy was told to go to bed in no uncertain term’s, mummy and dog went into the Living room and closed the door and by the end of the 7 minutes Munch was calm. What a contrast from just a few months ago when we were having meltdown’s like this on a daily basis that were lasting for hours on end that was all of 10 minutes and when he was calm again there was none of the aftermath that would drag on and on.

We left for school, we were about 5 minutes late so not so bad, head teacher was seeing in the late children so filled her in and asked her to pass it on to his class teacher just in case there was any repercussion’s.

It was only when I came home and assessed what had happened that morning that I realised what it was all about. I was my works Christmas Do that night and as it was in London I was having to leave fairly early. We always use the web-based Sitters for babysitters and have been very luck to get the same sitter each time, this time though because it was a week night she was unable to do it so we were having a different sitter and I had spoken to Munch about it the night before and I am sure this is what had subconsciously triggered that mornings incident.

It was the Christmas Bazar after school se we went along to that and did all the usual activities there before returning home Munch was very good and amused himself whilst I was getting ready I had brough a microwave ready meal for his tea, figured a one-off would not hurt. Munch wanted me to get him ready for bed before the sitter came and he also wanted to do snuggle time.

Once the sitter turned up Munch was fine and when I was frog marched out of the house by him!!!! I left them playing on the floor with Lego.

I had a great night and it seemed strange me being the one leaving before the end as my 2 very good friends who I work with have always been the ones leaving early as they have to get the children up the next day now their children are much older and either at work or old enough to get themselves up for school. I had not seen a lot of my work colleagues since before I went on Adoption Leave, so had lots of questions and well wishes and I seemed to repeat the same thing’s over and over again to different people.

At home sitter said Munch had been very well-behaved, she said that he had said that he felt sick at one point and would she phone me, but she they would leave it a while to see how he felt later, and he never mentioned it again.