Bit of a Catch Up

We have had a fairly good time since the last time I posted, when the play therapist came last Tuesday and she asked how things were, it was good to be able to say good thank-you, funny thing was though is we had loads of thing’s to cover, a lot of it though was the little under lying things that are normally masked by the big issue’s that are going on.

Nanny ended up in hospital last Monday where she still is now, I have finally booked our 4 night holiday to Butlins in August for me, Munch, granny and big cousin which Munch is very excited about.

We have taken Munch to the doctor’s and requested a referral as we feel and the Play Therapist felt that we needed to get Munch assessed to see if he does have ADHD.

We went to Grampy’s for the weekend and had a great weekend apart from Munch being extremely hyper the who time we were there and this has carried on at home for the last 2 day’s also.

We had a Play Therapy visit today, and afterwards whilst doing our session we I asked for her opinion on going in to adopt number 2, I value what she has to say and I wanted to know how she thought it would affect Munch. She brought it more round though to how we would feel, as she said we have a child who has had a very traumatic and abusive past, that from her time working with him, she feels that what we have now is what we have for life, that this is him and we are going to have to work very hard at maintaining this structure for, basically what she was saying was how fair would it be on another child to live how we do, and our PT being very honest, and she is part of the adoption social worker team at our local LA, if she was looking for a family for a child, that we would not be her 1st choice, and I am grateful for her honesty, I had a little cry and felt like crap, the other thing she said is we have to think hard about our fantasy and our reality.

Her advice was to give it at least a year an then think about it then, so we will do just that, and we were not thinking about doing anything till later on in the year anyway.

We ha a bit of a blip this evening when Munch got very wound up about the computer, but I asked him to sit on he sofa and calm down and when he had done that I would come back in to him, 5 minutes later a much calmer Munch, I spoke to him and calm reigned till Beaver’s.

 

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Another busy Tuesday

Well after Munch went to bed so early and slept at midnight, he came in as happy as Larry saying that he was scared, I took him back to bed he got in and slept till 8am this morning. I had an interesting conversation about this with the Play Therapist this morning, she was saying how emotions are learnt and how he has not learn how to react appropriately to his emotions, i.e being happy when scared, inappropriate laughing just to name a couple.

Anyway up got Munch and our morning went without incident until the Play Therapist arrived, I could hear him being extremely aggressive with her, he was swearing, just being how he has with us over the last couple of weeks. As she said afterwards you cannot just wipe out 5 years of extreme trauma and abuse, and it is going to surface every now and again, that she would be more worried if it did not.

We talked about going back to the basic’s again, re doing all that we did in those 1st 10 week sessions, thing’s like snuggle time that have naturally petered out, back to using sucking as a calming technique, being very firm with our boundaries which is what Munch needs. The trouble is, and we have talked about this before is that when thing’s improve you tend to let down your guard, and you cannot give Munch an inch.

We also talked about his very low self-esteem, about how over the last couple of weeks he has been saying that he is an idiot and hitting himself, I told her how at one point I had just said to Munch that I wasn’t going there today, and that had calmed him a little, she said it was a good way to deal with it as to keep saying, no you’re not ect will just fuel him, and also to use our calming techniques.

Whilst the having his Play Therapy the post arrived along with all our court paper work as the fee has now gone up and the paper work we had received still had the old fee on it!!!! So back to the post office again, with paper work and a cheque for the correct fee this time.

Ok, so Munch has been in 10 minutes, he has already sworn, so had swearing is not allowed – step, for which I got a slap so he is now upstairs in his room where he has been sent for the next 15 minutes. When time was up Munch stayed upstairs playing.

We had tea then off for his 1st gymnastic’s session at school, when we got back from that Munch wanted to play his Xbox game he had been playing earlier, so off upstairs he went until Beavers. Tonight when we got to Beavers he really did not want to go in, he was pushing me and say he didn’t want to go, even when we got in there he was saying please can we go home, which is very unlike him, he always say’s he doesn’t want to go on Beaver’s night as he does with anything because he lack confidence, but normal there is no fuss and as soon as we get to the gate he is off playing with the others. He was fine when I picked him up and had enjoyed himself.

Back indoor’s the bedtime routine went well, I tried to put some fun into it and we had a laugh, then for a reason only known to Munch he put his woggle down the toilet, was extremely babyish around getting undressed and then threw a little hard ball at me which hit me on the neck and hurt, so he lost 1/2 hour off his bedtime tomorrow. A hug and kiss and he is now quiet upstairs.