Catch Up

Well I thought it was about time a did a bit of catching up.

We had our appointment with the family therapist at CAMHS, we did our initial appointment with Munch, then me and hubby went back the next day as they had a cancellation and we were offered the extra appointment as the therapist though we had a lot to cover, we also have another appointment just for me and hubby next week. We were asked if we would like a carer’s assessment to which we said yes, so after our next appointment it will be taken to their next meeting to decide where we go from here.

In the mean time we received a phone call from Munch’s ex-SW, feels goo to be able to say that, saying that his LA had agreed to fund 4 extra play therapy session’s so we just need to contact the play therapist now.

Granny has been to stay for a week, so good times were had there and a few late nights!!!

This week they have had an international week at school and they have been going into different classes all week this has had a very unsettling effect on Munch, because as we know change is very scary for our children, we had been noticing it at home that his behaviour was beginning to get very controlling again, then there was an incident in the school play ground, but the school have put more structure into his lunch break which has helped him feel more contained .

Lastly today we have a poorly boy who as spent most of the day in bed!!! He has vomited a couple of times, and is generally feeling under the weather, but on the plus side he has let me be his mummy today, I have been able to cuddle him and sooth him. Hope he is feeling better tomorrow though.

Munch 1 – SW 0

Well what a week we have had, and Munch has been the star of it.

We had a great weekend which started on Friday evening when me and Munch went to Kids Kingdom for a couple of hours, Saturday we were ice skating all day again, Munch had his new ice skates and found them a bit funny to start with but he soon got the hang of them.

Whilst there at one point Munch could not find me so he was very good and went to one of the ice marshalls, so lots of praise for going to a staff member. He also made friends with a boy who was there with his mum, what can I say about the mum, she looked completely out of it, was very inappropriate with the things she was saying and reminded me of photo’s I have seen of birth mum, oh dear, she insisted on giving me her phone number and was telling Munch how we can visit them and how in a couple of weeks when I knew her better that he could spend the day with them and I could go shopping!!! I very politely distanced us from them.

On Monday we had our review, it had  been planned so that our play therapist could provide a report with recommendations with regards to the ongoing support we are going to need as a family, Munch’s SW did his usual and did not pick up the report off his emails and came with out it, him and the reviewing officer travelled over 200 miles for what, the reviewing officer was not happy, Munch’s SW managed to put it all on the Play Therapist, we were told that there is no more money for them to travel here for another review, which is a pile of crap, if we needed a review they would have to find the money. Anyway review proceeded with out the report, lasted about 3/4 hours and off they trundled on their 200 mile journey home.

Tuesday was our penultimate play therapy session, play therapist was not a happy bunny as she had spent a lot of time and effort doing a very in-depth report for the review and had emailed it to Munch’s SW last week.

Wednesday, our 2nd trip to A & E in just over 3 weeks, we received the dreaded phone call from school to say Munch had fallen in the playground and banged the back of his head on a bench and had a nasty cut, so of we went again. The nurse who glued his head managed to glue her hand to his head as well, so Munch is very pleased with the piece of purple glove he has stuck on his head and enjoyed being the centre of attention in the play ground before school this morning showing it off!!

Today I have been on a Life Story Workshop, which was very informative and helped a lot with starting to do some life story work here with Munch, it was also nice to meet up with other adoptive parents, and 2 of the mums who I have kept in touch with since we did our prep groups were there and we went for a glass of wine afterwards and a good old chat.

Now for the best bit of our week, tonight was parents evening, and what a glowing report we got, Munch has really come on and is doing so well, he is above average in his reading and maths for the END of the school year and we are only half way through the year!!!!! He is doing well in all other areas too, so mummy and daddy left the school with great big grins on our faces, we could not be prouder of our boy, considering the last year that is such an achievement.

P.S. forgot to mention, the cut to his finger today, we have joked with him, what is it tomorrow, his big toe? an ear?

The Good Times Keep Rolling

Well it has been almost a week since I last posted and what can I say it has all been good.

The weekend went by without any incidents, we kept it quiet as we’d had half term, and Munch decided he was a movie buff!! He watched a few film’s over the weekend and on a couple of occasions asked me to ‘find a movie’.

We did go into our local shopping centre on Saturday where Munch bought himself a lovely big puffle cushion which he was very pleased with, and on Sunday we went out and had a nice Carvery for lunch which he enjoyed a lot as he was able to take what he wanted and I was very pleased with him as he only took what he could eat, he did insist on having tomato sauce on I though because it was in one of the condiment bowls on the side.

We recommenced Play Therapy on Tuesday after our 1/2 term break and she said that she could see a big difference in Munch, even in the way he looks, she said he looks a lot softer. We also spoke to her after Munch had gone to school about moving and she said she thinks that it would be good for him as we would be doing it as a family, so that has made us all the more determined to do it.

The rest of the week has been good, the last 2 night Munch has not even called out after going to bed, this time last year just shortly after he had moved  in, someone tried to break in to our next door neighbours and it really unsettled him, he kept asking if the doors were locked, where were the dogs, little things made him jumpy, and at the moment he seems to be going through the same thing, it just amazes me how subconsciously the mind works, but even with that he has not called out.

This morning, we got up late as I had forgotten to set my alarm last night, we were up, breakfast, washed and dressed and lined up before the bell went off at school all in 25 minutes!!!! It help that today is world book day and they have a monster theme at his school, so Munch has gone with his Frankenstein mask, pirate cape and devils hat, very pleased with himself he was this morning.

Pinocchio and Telling the Truth

This morning started off with Munch coming downstairs and being cross with the dog because she had knocked the Laptop on the floor, once he had picked it up and put it on to make sure it was still working he sat happily playing with his Club Penguin, computer is not normally allowed in the morning but as it was Play Therapy day and we have a later start I left him to it so I could get on.

Then the Play Therapist arrived Munch was up and on the go at 100 miles an hour, he was dragging the poor dog around by her collar, in and out as we were fetching things in, that was until he trip over her and banged his head on the car, he started to hit and kick the dog, I had to pull him away, this was in the living room with the Play Therapist so I left her to him and went in the kitchen.

I think it was then that what had happened last night and with the incident over the weekend caught up with me and I just sat at the kitchen table and cried, I did get myself together though for when they had finished.

Daddy took Munch off to school and I told the Play Therapist about the 2 incidents, Munch today had wanted all of her play equipment out of her car and she said the thing that he had picked to play with was Pinocchio, and they had done a lot of work around telling the truth and his nose growing and they had between them developed a squeaking technic for when Munch was being untruthful, so we are now on a mission to find the little squeaks that you put inside teddy bears so that when he is being untruthful we can squeak at him, she said we are no to say he is lying, but to say that is not real. She also said to make a note of these things, one so that she can see what they are and 2 for our record, I also said that I though it was a good idea to ring Munch’s SW and she said yes to do that and to tell him that we have some strategies in place.

The next thing that I spoke to her about was the comment that had been made to me at the wedding on Saturday when I was asked if Munch had been diagnosed, and before I could say anything she said, with ADHD, I said about reading about it and Munch displaying practically all of the tell-tale sign’s and she said to make an appointment with our GP and say we want referring to a pediatrician who specialises in this field. Like she said ADHD is often be masked by attachment issues. So an appointment has been booked for Friday with he GP.

We talked about getting Pinocchio on DVD, as we said we must have every other Disney DVD bar that one (we had them all way before Munch came along), and also about getting The Boy Who Cried Wolf to read to him, and some sort of children’s programme called if I remember right Jaker’s, which uses morals for the back drop of it’s stories, I will have to do a bit of research about that online.

Munch was in a good mood when I picked him up from school, I had brought him his own mouse for the computer, something we have been going to do since he arrive last year!!!! Better late than never, so after doing his reading he was pleased to use it.

It was then off to gymnastic’s, then home for tea, get ready for Beaver’s and off there, Tuesday’s are busy nights thank goodness his gymnastic’s is only for 5 weeks.

I did phone Munch’s SW but he is off sick so I phoned our SW and filled her in, I am going to email Munch’s SW as soon as I have finished this.

Munch is now tucked up in bed after another performance to cut his toe nails, why do I get so wound up over toe nails!!! Still done now for another little while.

Another Milestone – Adoption Order Papers sent to Court.

Well what a week it has been in the Munch household.

It started on Monday getting the good news that Play therapy was recommencing the very next day, woo hoo.

Munch has been in a bit of a strange place all week, we had a review today and we don’t normally tell Munch hat his SW is here until we pick him up from school on the day his SW is visiting as it worries him and he will be awake all the night before with pain’s in his legs. As he was off school today we had to tell him earlier so that he knew what was happening, so all week we have had him trying to control,  he has also been in a very contrary mood.

Play Therapy went well and it was good to start again, the Play Therapist said that she noticed a difference in how polite Munch was being, whilst she was here our SW arrived. I had forgotten that we had arranged this visit before Christmas

One the Play Therapist had left myself and our SW got to work on the Disability Living Allowance forms for Munch, it’s when we were filling in these forms, which are long and tedious that it makes you realise how different Munch is from other children, I think that we have got so used to living with his anxieties and behaviours that it has become the norm for us, writing it all down on paper made me realise just how traumatized our poor little boy is.

After school we Munch had his yearly Looked After Child medical at the Doctor’s, and then we had the dentist after that it was home and getting ready for Beaver’s, so in all it was a very busy day on Tuesday.

Wednesday Munch was in fine form, he tried to be controlling, he tried to be very contrary and by bedtime, I was worn out with it all, step was used, he hit daddy in the face knocking his glasses flying, kicked the dog, hit out at me, so he was sent to his room for 1/2 hour. Later in bed, he was an absolute nightmare trying to get him to go to sleep, he just kept calling, wanting hugs, but not really hugging he was back to making a show of hugging but not waning to be close, arm across his body, face turned as far away as he could, yet would not let go and having to be prized off. Then he was hitting himself and saying I’m an idiot, you think I’m an idiot, I’m a f–king idiot, you done even like me, you say you love me but you don’t really you just lie, and he kept saying them over and over again and hitting himself, he just has such low self-esteem, I eventually got him to calm down and sleep, about an hour later I could hear him crying and when I went up he was standing on the landing saying what is it, get it away from me and waving his arms around like mad, I just said its ok come on back to bed and he went without a fuse.

Thursday was a better day, but if I am honest, I coped out a bit and because I knew he was going to be extremely anxious and not in a good place because of the impending SW visit he next day, I just let him use the computer all evening, bad mummy, until TV time before bed.

And then today, another milestone for us, 1 year since Munch actually moved in with us and we posted our Adoption Order papers off to the court today!!!!!!

Our review went very well, we had a new reviewing Officer who was fab, he wants it in writing that he feels that once our present 10 sessions of Play Therapy are over, that they should look in to whether the Play Therapist would visit us once every 8 weeks for at least the next year, just to give us on going support, he also wanted it down that everyone feels that direct contact with one of Munch’s paternal grandmothers is not in Munch’s best interest, and in fact is the complete opposite, we have always from the very 1st visit that we had with Munch’s SW and Family finder said that we were open to direct contact as long as it was in his best interest.

Munch never has mentioned this Grandmother, it was a court directive and the reviewing officer said that he feels it needs to be documented so that if the Grandmother decided at a later date to try to get contact through the courts that it would help us if we have documentation to say that it is not in his best interest.

Daddy had taken Munch out whilst the review was on, I then went and met them, together we all went to the Post Office to get our papers sent Special Delivery and afterwards went and had something to eat, home and daddy has gone for a few drinks and I am off to bed.

Good Weekend

Saturday started off great, Munch got up and put his Ben 10 game on the Wii, he has always only got so far with this and never been able to get past one bit which he did, so he was very pleased with himself and played on it for a while, he is not one for playing on the Wii much so I did not mind him staying on, if he was wanting to play it day in day out I would limit the time like we do with the computer, but do not feel we need to a present.

In the afternoon Reece had been invited to my friends daughters Birthday party, so off we set, got a bit loss so got there after the entertainer had started, Munch asked me to go with him down to where the children were sitting as he said he was shy, and at that he was gone, and I had a couple of hours to catch up with a few friends I had not seen for I while whilst he was enjoying the party. It was also nice for Munch as he met a few of the children before and he was pleased as they remembered coming to his party back in October.

Talking of birthday’s has reminded me of a conversation I had with Munch a few day’s ago, we were talking about birthday’s and he was saying about the different thing’s he did on his birthday’s, we had his 1st birthday with us in October, he kept saying no he had it with his FC’s, on a few occasion’s when talking about thing’s he has said that they have been in different places to what they were, and because he is such a great wind up merchant, everything normal said and done for wha effect it is going to have on us, I have alway’s though he was doing this on perpouse, but I realised that he actually though that he had his Birthday with his FC’s, when I mentioned the Bouncy Castle that he’d had in the back garden, I could see it suddenly dawned on him that, yes, his 7th Birthday was here, my son had lived in 22 different places, with different Birth Family member’s, that we know about before he was placed with his FC’s, he was one of the lucky ones who only had one FC placement before coming to his Forever Family, know wonder he is so confused about what happened when, where and who with!!!!

On the way home we went to a shopping centre where he spent some of his pocket-money, we had something to eat to save cooking when we got in, and I booked to have our family picture’s done, they look really good as very informal and we can take our dog as well.

Sunday we has a lovely lazy day, again Ben 10, I am sure the novelty will have worn off by tomorrow else we will have to start limiting time.

We went out for Sunday Lunch to a lovely restaurant, it had a great play area for kids outside, so we have decided that this is where we are going to book for our meal after our Celebration Hearing in  court, get me, we still have to put our papers in yet.

Munch is very excited about us sending off the papers on Friday, he was talking about it this morning with a great big grin on his face, when we got to school he wanted me to tell his teacher that he was going to have to have a day off to go to court for our family day, bless him. I said I think we will wait until we have a date!!!

Our other good news this morning is Play Therapy re-starts tomorrow, HURRAH.

A Few Up and Down Days.

Well since our 1st Year Anniversary, or as Munch kept calling it, our Family Day, on Tuesday things have been a little up and down here. Munch has tried to be very controlling and a lot of the contrary behaviour he display’s sometimes has been back with vengeance the last few day’s. We are sure it is all to do with the time of year it is, and if we are honest it is not nearly as bad as it has been in the past, it’s just I think you get lulled into the sense of easiness and then something show’s up.

We are supposed to be recommencing Munch’s Play Therapy some time soon, but both myself and Munch’s SW have been phoning her and just constantly get her answer machine we have left messages but she has not returned them. When Munch’s SW emailed her she said she would be either starting today or on Tuesday, so who know’s, I think she is proberly still waiting to be paid by the LA!!! Still I am a little annoyed that she has not even bothered to answer the messages I have left especially as on her last visit she said you can always phone me.

We have our review next week, we are hoping it will be our last. Hopefully our Adoption Order will go through with out a hitch and we can then start all over again soon after for number 2. I have all ready been in touch with our 1st SW, buttering her up 😉

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