Munch 1 – SW 0

Well what a week we have had, and Munch has been the star of it.

We had a great weekend which started on Friday evening when me and Munch went to Kids Kingdom for a couple of hours, Saturday we were ice skating all day again, Munch had his new ice skates and found them a bit funny to start with but he soon got the hang of them.

Whilst there at one point Munch could not find me so he was very good and went to one of the ice marshalls, so lots of praise for going to a staff member. He also made friends with a boy who was there with his mum, what can I say about the mum, she looked completely out of it, was very inappropriate with the things she was saying and reminded me of photo’s I have seen of birth mum, oh dear, she insisted on giving me her phone number and was telling Munch how we can visit them and how in a couple of weeks when I knew her better that he could spend the day with them and I could go shopping!!! I very politely distanced us from them.

On Monday we had our review, it had  been planned so that our play therapist could provide a report with recommendations with regards to the ongoing support we are going to need as a family, Munch’s SW did his usual and did not pick up the report off his emails and came with out it, him and the reviewing officer travelled over 200 miles for what, the reviewing officer was not happy, Munch’s SW managed to put it all on the Play Therapist, we were told that there is no more money for them to travel here for another review, which is a pile of crap, if we needed a review they would have to find the money. Anyway review proceeded with out the report, lasted about 3/4 hours and off they trundled on their 200 mile journey home.

Tuesday was our penultimate play therapy session, play therapist was not a happy bunny as she had spent a lot of time and effort doing a very in-depth report for the review and had emailed it to Munch’s SW last week.

Wednesday, our 2nd trip to A & E in just over 3 weeks, we received the dreaded phone call from school to say Munch had fallen in the playground and banged the back of his head on a bench and had a nasty cut, so of we went again. The nurse who glued his head managed to glue her hand to his head as well, so Munch is very pleased with the piece of purple glove he has stuck on his head and enjoyed being the centre of attention in the play ground before school this morning showing it off!!

Today I have been on a Life Story Workshop, which was very informative and helped a lot with starting to do some life story work here with Munch, it was also nice to meet up with other adoptive parents, and 2 of the mums who I have kept in touch with since we did our prep groups were there and we went for a glass of wine afterwards and a good old chat.

Now for the best bit of our week, tonight was parents evening, and what a glowing report we got, Munch has really come on and is doing so well, he is above average in his reading and maths for the END of the school year and we are only half way through the year!!!!! He is doing well in all other areas too, so mummy and daddy left the school with great big grins on our faces, we could not be prouder of our boy, considering the last year that is such an achievement.

P.S. forgot to mention, the cut to his finger today, we have joked with him, what is it tomorrow, his big toe? an ear?

Another Milestone – Adoption Order Papers sent to Court.

Well what a week it has been in the Munch household.

It started on Monday getting the good news that Play therapy was recommencing the very next day, woo hoo.

Munch has been in a bit of a strange place all week, we had a review today and we don’t normally tell Munch hat his SW is here until we pick him up from school on the day his SW is visiting as it worries him and he will be awake all the night before with pain’s in his legs. As he was off school today we had to tell him earlier so that he knew what was happening, so all week we have had him trying to control,  he has also been in a very contrary mood.

Play Therapy went well and it was good to start again, the Play Therapist said that she noticed a difference in how polite Munch was being, whilst she was here our SW arrived. I had forgotten that we had arranged this visit before Christmas

One the Play Therapist had left myself and our SW got to work on the Disability Living Allowance forms for Munch, it’s when we were filling in these forms, which are long and tedious that it makes you realise how different Munch is from other children, I think that we have got so used to living with his anxieties and behaviours that it has become the norm for us, writing it all down on paper made me realise just how traumatized our poor little boy is.

After school we Munch had his yearly Looked After Child medical at the Doctor’s, and then we had the dentist after that it was home and getting ready for Beaver’s, so in all it was a very busy day on Tuesday.

Wednesday Munch was in fine form, he tried to be controlling, he tried to be very contrary and by bedtime, I was worn out with it all, step was used, he hit daddy in the face knocking his glasses flying, kicked the dog, hit out at me, so he was sent to his room for 1/2 hour. Later in bed, he was an absolute nightmare trying to get him to go to sleep, he just kept calling, wanting hugs, but not really hugging he was back to making a show of hugging but not waning to be close, arm across his body, face turned as far away as he could, yet would not let go and having to be prized off. Then he was hitting himself and saying I’m an idiot, you think I’m an idiot, I’m a f–king idiot, you done even like me, you say you love me but you don’t really you just lie, and he kept saying them over and over again and hitting himself, he just has such low self-esteem, I eventually got him to calm down and sleep, about an hour later I could hear him crying and when I went up he was standing on the landing saying what is it, get it away from me and waving his arms around like mad, I just said its ok come on back to bed and he went without a fuse.

Thursday was a better day, but if I am honest, I coped out a bit and because I knew he was going to be extremely anxious and not in a good place because of the impending SW visit he next day, I just let him use the computer all evening, bad mummy, until TV time before bed.

And then today, another milestone for us, 1 year since Munch actually moved in with us and we posted our Adoption Order papers off to the court today!!!!!!

Our review went very well, we had a new reviewing Officer who was fab, he wants it in writing that he feels that once our present 10 sessions of Play Therapy are over, that they should look in to whether the Play Therapist would visit us once every 8 weeks for at least the next year, just to give us on going support, he also wanted it down that everyone feels that direct contact with one of Munch’s paternal grandmothers is not in Munch’s best interest, and in fact is the complete opposite, we have always from the very 1st visit that we had with Munch’s SW and Family finder said that we were open to direct contact as long as it was in his best interest.

Munch never has mentioned this Grandmother, it was a court directive and the reviewing officer said that he feels it needs to be documented so that if the Grandmother decided at a later date to try to get contact through the courts that it would help us if we have documentation to say that it is not in his best interest.

Daddy had taken Munch out whilst the review was on, I then went and met them, together we all went to the Post Office to get our papers sent Special Delivery and afterwards went and had something to eat, home and daddy has gone for a few drinks and I am off to bed.

First Day of the Christmas Holiday’s.

This morning I got up to go to the loo at 8.40 and Munch was watching TV in his bed, he came into our room and we had an extra 20 minutes before getting up.

When we came downstairs Munch asked if he could have 1/2 hour of his computer time then and 1/2 hour later, well done that he had remembered he was only having an hour. He had a little more than 1/2 hour, sh, don’t tell him.

We all then got dressed and went to do our Christmas food shopping, Munch was in a hyper mood and a bit all over the place, but I suppose I have been here many times before now over the last 12 months and have got used to dealing with it, what I am not used to is having to deal with him and daddy together, I don’t like food shopping with hubby as it is, what with Munch being all over the place and hubby having a face like thunder and moaning like mad at Munch, I decided to cut my losses and go home. Most of the food shopping is done, I will just call in to the supermarket on our way home tomorrow night to pick up a few things I missed today.

At home, I sent Munch upstairs for his hour’s play so I could sort out the shopping, he was up and down up and down all the time with one excuse or another. I called him down for lunch, the film we we going to watch this afternoon was about to start so I put it on in the kitchen whilst we were having lunch, not something I would normally do but though that it would no hurt for once. We finished watching it in the lounge.

When the film had finished Munch decided to have his other 1/2 hour on the computer, then asked if we could do some painting, so we got out the paints and had a great time for an hour, painting and mixing different colours with the paints.

We had 1/2 to spare when we had finished so whilst I cleaned up Munch played Mario Karts on the Wii, before getting changed to go to my friends as it was her daughters 10th Birthday and we had been invited for tea.

Munch had a great time whilst there, and enjoyed having the other children to play with. we stayed for about 1 1/2 hours, before coming home as Munch was beginning to get a bit over the top and was finding it hard to listen, so before he got out of hand I decided to call it a day and head home while we were still on a high.

We had supper then bed once home, in bed we spoke about how it is less than 2 weeks away  now from us having met each other a year ago, Munch asked if he was adopted now, so we had a conversation about how, we have a review next month and at that review they will say we can send our papers to court, so as soon as the review is finished, me Munch and daddy will walk to the Post Office and all post the papers together, Munch was quite sleepy by then and went off with a smile on his face.

Putting up The Christmas Tree


Snowy Day

So much for telling Munch that he would have no TV in the morning if he came knocking, he came in 1st at 4am, then 7am, then 7.30 am and then again just after very excited because he had looked out of the window and seen all the snow!!! I  am coming to the conclusion that 7.30 is to early for him to go to bed as he is awake well before us every morning so may after christmas extend his bedtime to 8pm and see how we go.

At that I gave up and got up, was looking forward to an extra 15 minutes as it was play therapy day, but it was not to be. Came downstairs and have to say was very naughty and did let Munch have TV as I had a lot that I wanted to do before the PT arrived. Munch watched TV for a very short while whilst eating his breakfast, then got dress up so he could go out in the garden with the dog, he had a great time throwing snowball’s and the dog put on a great show of running round and round the garden  like a mad thing.

PT arrived and went out in the garden for 5 minutes, before they came in and had their session. PT said afterwards that  it had gone very well. We had our usual session afterwards, we talked about all we had done over 10 sessions and just told her about our week. Today was her last of the 10 sessions that Munch’s LA have funded, tomorrow we have a review, hopefully it will not be cancelled due to he snow and Munch’s SW and Reviewing Officer having to travel an extremely long way. The big thing will be getting more funding for PT to continue, but we don’t think it will be in place by next week, so it looks like we are going to have a gap.

Picked Munch up from school, came home, again no reading book, or work diary, will have to have words with his teacher. We did his Mr Men challenge where he had to find something that begins with each letter of the alphabet and write a sentence about them. Munch got on with it, I had 2 phone calls whilst he was doing it and Munch, being Munch did his usual and really rushed, his writing left a lot to desire, he did it in pen rather than pencil so if he made a mistake he could rub it out, I did not make a fuse though as it knocks his self esteem, but tried to get him to slow down a bit and tell me what he wanted to write and I then was able to help him with his spelling’s. It did improve towards the end, but I am not going to push him with home work, as he is as the PT say’s a very strong-willed child, I have found by just giving him encouragement and not pushing, his work diary that they have each week with a topic in has gotten better and better, he spend’s more time doing it, put’s a lot more thought into it, and will often now want to do it, and will ask to.

After that we went out and did some snowballing in the back garden until mummy became to cold, I think Munch would have gone on for ever, we then came in and play Wii Mario Karts until it was time for me to get dinner done. Munch played on the computer.

Once we’d had dinner it was time to go to Beaver’s, I had not realised how much the snow was falling and if I had I proberbly would have kept him at home, but we were all dressed up ready and outside before I did so we ventured down the road. There was only 3 Beavers there so they joined the Cubs, when I picked him up I got my 1st Christmas card from my son. Very big proud mummy moment.

Back home, supper and ready for bed, we don’t do story after Beaver’s because it is a late night and one gorgeous boy, tucked up in bed.


Here’s Monday

Well considering Munch had such a late night last night, when I got up this morning with a struggle I might add, he was already awake watching his TV in bed. He was in a very jolly mood, and by the time he went to school we all had nicknames,he was sleepy moo moo as that is what I had called him when calling him downstairs, daddy was hedgehog the frog and mine was clumsy the monkey, the dog was eat all the food, he though this was very amusing and we go called by those names all morning and if I didn’t call him sleepy moo moo, I was reminded to.

This morning I received a phone call from the reviewing officer to say that the review we were having on Wednesday had to be cancelled as Munch’s SW has to go to court, it is now re-booked for the following Wednesday, I phoned our SW to let her know and she can’t do that date as she is on A/L and out of the country, she did phone the reviewing officer but they could no do it any earlier than mid December, which the reviewing officer felt that with our issues with therapy was too late, someones on our side!!! So it will go ahead next Wednesday with out our SW, she will do a report, what we did decide today was though to still do our court paper’s ready for the review, but to say that we will hold sending them off until more funding is available for Munch’s Play Therapy, we can’t wait to send them of but it’s not about us it’s about getting the best help we can for our son, and in the grand scheme of thing’s what is a few weeks.

We had a quiet evening tonight been as he had such a late night last night, only one incident where he was rude to me and got sent to the step, he was not happy about this and kicked and hit out at me, so I sent him to his bedroom and told him I will not be hit or kicked and that he could stay in his bedroom until tea, which he did and behaved like an angel for the rest of the night.

Holiday Tomorrow

Well, as title says, we are off to Cornwall tomorrow for a week, thats me, Munch, granny and cousin. Daddy is staying home with the dogs. We have done lots of talking about it so watch this space.
Munch has just finished his 4 day football school which he has really enjoyed and was very pleased to recieve a medal at the end of it.
We have had a mixed time of it since last post, we have had some really heavy meltdown’s especially after my night away, followed by some really lovely settled periods, still with his little quirky way’s, but hay we cannot have it all!!!!
Our last 2 meltdowns have been post SW visits, the last being our 3rd review. We have said that until we have funding in place for play therapy for Munch we will not apply for our Adoption Order as we feel we owe it to him to fight his corner to get him the help he needs.
Will post again after our holiday.

day before 2nd review

Well tomorrow is our 2nd review, we really hope they say that we can put in for our adoption order. I spoke to our SW today, we had already made a list of things with her on a previous visit, like we have had our letterbox contract through for us to sign and I am not to happy about having to include a photo, so we want to clarify that, our adoption allowance has now been sorted, this was not something that we asked for so we are thinking of it as a bonus, I am sure when I go back to work it will end as they will assess us as having too much money.
The one thing that I did say to our SW today is that I would like to bring up the subject of therapy for Munch as we feel that he would benefit from this, he was being assessed for it before he came to us but did not carry on as we had been found and they knew he would be moving.
Munch has been very good for the last few days, he helped daddy clean up the front after school yesterday and planted his pepper’s and tomato’s, today we went out after school to buy some storage box’s for his toys, he can be a handful when out and does need to be reigned in. We also have his stranger awareness to deal with as he has none, and will talk and charm anyone and everyone that he comes into contact with, I am sure this is how he has managed to get by previously, and we are working really hard on this one, shop assistant are the worst as soon as he see’s them or when we get to the till he turns on the charm, at the moment we are just saying before we get to the till, please do not talk to the people behind the till’s you do not know them, we are re enforcing this message when every we can, but at the moment do not seem to be getting anywhere with it but we will keep on.
Last thing for today, we have both signed up for a ‘parenting adopted children’ course with our VA at the end of next month which I am looking forward to, and today I started a ‘Speakeasy’ course which is aimed at making it easier for parent to talk about sexually related subjects with their children and in the correct way, I thought this would be handy in light of some the sexualized behaviour and talk that we have had over the weeks with Munch.