Iffy Start, Positive Finish.

Well as we had gotten to a better place, I was only going to blog every now and again, but things seem to have taken a backwards step at the moment, I am not surprised. We had such a good period over Christmas, it had to come out at some point, and then we have also had our 1st anniversary as a family, recommenced play therapy, had a big SW visit with our review and put in our papers to court, so a lot of things have happened in the last 2 weeks.

This morning did not start well, after Munch was awake until almost 10pm last night, he came in to us at 5.30 this morning, I sent him back to bed, but he put his light on and I could hear him moving around, he kept calling out to ask if it was time to get up, we had that for 2 hours until we got up, then when it was time to get up Munch was to busy playing on his DS to come down for his breakfast, needless to say DS is now banned from the bedroom overnight.

When he did eventually come down Munch was full of attitude and  thought that he was being very clever answering back, he thought it was less funny when he was doing his 4th lot of time-out on the step!!!

Because of his behaviour we were late for school, the Headteacher and Deputy who happens to be the SENCO were at the door, so I had a quick word with them to say that over the last couple of weeks Munch had regressed a bit with his behaviour, I always keep them up to speed with what is happening a home and why, I in tun have asked them to tell us of anything in school. They then informed me that they have had a few issues with Munch in school over the last couple of weeks as well, why have we not been told, I came away really annoyed and even more annoyed with myself for not asking why we had not been told, anyway I will be having a word with Munch’s class teacher in the morning, so will have to not get there to early so Munch is further down the que and cannot hear what I am saying.

This evening went better, but only I think because Munch had lost an hour and a half off his bedtime time so he did no have so long to wind me up, and also I jumped on any of his stroppy or controlling behaviour before it had chance to develop.

We did his reading, he reads well but can mess around, I told him if he messed around he would have no TV after bath, that cured him!!! After reading, I asked him to do something, to be told don’t speak to me like that, to which I told him, I am the adult here and you are the child, and you are not allowed to speak to me like that – step. Whilst on the step, he very half heartedly kicked out at the dog, that got him sent up to his room.

When he came down, his whole mood had lightened and I tried hard to match it, we had a very pleasant tea together, when Munch got out of the bath we had a lovely time drying him, he still likes very much to be babied after his bath due to missing out on these experiences when he was a baby, the play therapist has said that it is very good to take him back and let him experience the things he missed out on, so that’s what we do.

He had his 1/2 TV then supper again this was great as he sat on my knee and we hugged and I sang him silly made up songs which made him laugh and this had a positive impact on our bedtime routine, he was being a bit silly through story so I stopped before things went back into a negative and so we could end the day on a positive note.

The High’s and Then Very Low Finish to the Weekend.

We had a lovely Saturday, we got up early and me and Munch had a lift off daddy up to Madame Tussaud’s, it was not somewhere I would have taken Munch but as we have Merlin Annual Passes had nothing to lose and he did enjoy it even though he didn’t know who the wax models were. He enjoyed the taxi ride and 4D film at the end. I always find rides are good for our attachment as well as Munch always wants you to hold him really tightly, I think this is because he has an valide reason for you to cuddle him.

Afterwards we went to the Science Museum and again he liked it here, we only saw a very small part of it as he was very interested in the Launch Pad area were it has lots of interactive things for children to do and also the area to do with Space, so I can see lots of visits to the Science Museum happening.

He was well-behaved all day and the few little bits of attitude we had were easily dealt with by saying that we would have to go home if they continued and he did not want to go home.

Sunday started off well, Munch used the computer for a short while, then watched a film, St Trinian’s of all film’s, but he was engrossed in it so I left him to it, then we went swimming.

His swimming is coming on a treat, he is very confident now and does not need his armbands at all, he is swimming a little on his own and I am sure with a few more visits before we go away he is going to just love the pool.

On the way home Munch’s attitude was that of a stroppy teenager again, so he was told that as soon as we got in he was to go on his step, he then though it was going to be a good idea and mimic me in a silly voice about the step, he didn’t think it was such a good idea when he was told that instead of 7 minutes on the step he had earned himself 30 minutes upstairs.

After his 30 minutes upstairs he watch Aliens vs. Monsters, we had dinner, then played Junior Monopoly, before his usual TV before bed. Daddy came home from work and Munch asked if rather than TV we could play a game of Monopoly again which we agreed to.

After supper was had and up to get ready for bed Munch went, all going very pleasantly. Munch went into he bathroom and hid behind the bathroom door, something he used to do all the time, but has not done for a long time. I went in put his toothpaste on his brush and called him, he came from behind the door and I was standing with my back to it and pushed me really hard making me stumble forward a little as I was not expecting it, now normally it would have been you cannot push people like that, it is not allowed – step, but as it was bedtime and I felt that he had been playing for time at supper, sending him to sit on the step would have been playing right into his hands, so I said that it was wrong and that tomorrow night he would come to bed at 7.30 instead of 8pm, He just flipped he started hitting and kicking and swearing, saying it had been an accident, I was in his way, I explained to him that all he had to do was say excuse me please and I would have moved, which made him rage more, I said that hitting and being aggressive was not allowed so knocked another 1/2 off his bedtime, he started hitting and saying unless I let him go to bed at 8.30pm he was no going to stop, by then I had got him in his bedroom, he was pulling my hair, hitting and kicking, kept repeating that if I didn’t let him stay up until 8.30 he was going to carry on, every time I tried to leave the room he had hold of my clothing or my hair and was screaming for me not to go, then he was biting. I just kept saying no he was going to bed at 7pm tomorrow as he could no expect go behave like this and stay up late, he had to take the consequences of his action’s. I picked him up and put him into his bed as he was refusing to get in, he had hold of my hair in both hands pulling so hard, where do they get teir strenght from when they are having these meltdowns!!!! Now this where I am not very proud of myself, but he was pulling so hard and I could not get him to let go, that I pulled his hair back, and the shock of it made him let go immediately, he said you are not allowed to hurt me, I just said but you were really hurting me and now you know what it feels like, I just said our usual goodnight blardy blar, and left the room, feeling horrible with what I had done.

I left it for 15 minutes and went upstairs on the pretence of going to the loo as Munch had been very quiet, and that has not been him just lately when in bed. As I was going upstairs, he asked is that you mummy in the sweetessed of voices as if nothing had happened, I went in he was playing his DS in bed, I apologies for pulling his hair, he asked if he could stay up till his normal time tomorrow, I stuck to my gun’s and said no, told him that he should not be playing his DS in bed and he was to finnish what he was doing and put it down, there was no calling out or anything afterwards, he jus finished and went off to sleep.

I hold my hands up and say I was completely at a loss as how to handle the situation, thank goodness for our Play Therapist, it shall be top of my agenda on Tuesday to get some help and guidance on how to deal with things when step is playing right into his hands.

So the weekend started on a high and ended up on a an extreme low 😦

29/12 – Granny Comes to Stay.

This morning Munch came into bed with me very excited because granny was coming to stay today. After coming down Munch was very lively and excited and could not wait for granny to get here. He was being very rude and in the way that he was speaking to us, and ended up on the step several times.

In the end I sent him to do his hour upstairs before he got into any more trouble, our hour upstairs to play has been very helpful this holiday and is something we will be sticking to from now on, and using on weekends as well.

After his hour upstairs it was lunch time, then we found a film to watch. Munch had just settled to watch the film when Granny arrived so the film went out of the window. Munch was very pleased to see his Granny and was all over her.

We had a cuppa with Granny, then me and daddy toke the opportunity of going out to get a couple of bits and also having a nice coffee and cake!!

We had a phone call from Munch asking us when we were coming home, but when we got home granny said that he had been fine, he had asked to ring so granny had put it off for a while, then let him, he had got a bit nervous at one point and insisted that she locked the doors otherwise he had been fine.

We had a late tea to so it was straight to bed, Munch wanted Granny and daddy to take him and I had to go up and give him his bedtime hug and kiss when they had finished.

Due to all the excitement of granny coming Munch wide awake in bed, and constantly calling down, I went up a couple of times, but he still carried on calling down, in the end I just ignored him, he carried on until I went to bed, good job I went up early as the awful cough I had for the last week or so was beginning to take its toll. I put my head round the door and said that I did this every night on my way to bed but normally he was asleep and I was unable to talk to him, and that I could say goodnight tonight been as he was awake, he thought this was great and I did not hear another peep out of him.

Boxing Day

This morning Munch came into us at 8am and asked if he could put his X Box on, we said as it was not a school morning he could, 1/2 later he came and asked if he coud put a DVD on using his X Box, yes said we.

At 9am daddy got up and very kindly said for me to have a lay in and he would deal with Munch, after Munch jumping on the bed several times and the dog doing her bit as well 30 minutes later I gave up and went down.

After Munch having been our very own little star yesterday, today he was full of attitude, 4 times he ended up on the step, for shouting at us, demanding things, and generally trying to control. We knew we needed to do the step before things got to much, we have learnt that we need to get on top before he does. It seemed to do the trick and calmed Munch down.

Me and Munch played a couple of his games he had received yesterday, then Munch and Daddy took his big Ford Truck over to the side road across the road as it is very quiet and has a large area at the end, I was just settling down with a coffee and the computer when back they came the battery needed charging again, it must have lasted a whole 40 minutes in total, so back on for another 8 hours of charging. Daddy said Munch had been very good and had not even made a fuss when he had crashed it into the wall.

Back at home, Munch went around recording what me and daddy were saying on his spy pen, he played with the garage and cars for a while before going on the computer to play his recordings off his spy pen. He stayed on there for a bit and after lunch Munch decided to watch the 1st film from his Trilogy of Spy Kid film’s. He is now upstairs on the landing with all the empty box’s from yesterday, his Spy Recording Pen and some binoculars. I am going to make the most of it and make a coffee and put my feet up and watch some TV that I want to watch for a moment.

Well Munch was upstairs for almost 2 hours in the end, and what was he doing, making things with the box’s!!!!

We put on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory which I have to say Munch watched and I dozed through, towards the end, I woke up and felt very sick and was very sick!!! Don’t know what that was about and I have been fine since.

We had dinner, then bath and downstairs just as daddy came in from work, Munch was very excited to see him and wanted to have a game of Junior Monopoly instead of TV, so we all started to play, we put a 1/2 hour limit on the game as it was getting on, all was going well, we were having a very merry time, Munch was being very funny and all 3 of us were having a good laugh when Munch didn’t get the number he wanted on the dice, so he shouted and cried and hit daddy on the head, he was told it was not allowed and step, which set him off even more, as he would not go to the step, we said that the game was being put away and he still had to do his time on the step and I took him by the arm and lead him to the step, which just made him hit out and kick at me, normally I would send him up to his room for a longer period, but as it was almost bedtime I continued with the step, told him very firmly that the behaviour is not allowed and he sat and did his 7 minutes.

Step time finished and it was supper and bed, he was back to being a happy chappy, and went to be with any fuse.

Another good day, a couple of very minor incidents compared to what we used to get and we are thankful for how far we have come with our wonderful son.

24/12 – Christmas Eve

Well I think Munch has given me his cough for Christmas as I seemed to be coughing all night, in the end I went into the spare room to save keeping hubby awake as he was planning to go into work for a for a few hours in the morning.

Munch got up to go to the loo at 8am, he saw me in the spare room but just went to back to bed after putting all the lights on!!!! I got up shortly afterwards and went in to talk to him, he wanted to get the ‘prawn crackers’ as he calls the Christmas Crackers, when I asked why, he wanted to get them ready for our Christmas dinner, but we are not having it today say’s I, oh yes say’s Munch.

We got up and came downstairs, daddy was going to work for a few hour’s in the morning then we were going to meet him later on, Munch was hyper, he was running around not listening to anything, several times he was asked to slow down and concentrate, he ran and jumped onto me as I was holding a cup of hot coffee, he was sent to step, as soon as he was off the step, he started shouting at me as soon as his time was up saying I had waisted his time, so straight back to the step. I did my usual, and ignored anything he was doing while on he step, but I really wanted to laugh because ‘I wish it coud be Christmas every day’ came on the radio and he was singing away on his step.

The second session on the step seemed to calm him down and the rest of the morning went by quietly. We watched a bit of TV and played with his Lego,  granny and cousin phoned so Munch spent sometime talking to them, then it was time to get ready for our Christmas Eve outing.

We got the bus to our local Station, then took the train to Marble Arch where we met Daddy and we had a lovely afternoon at Winterwonderand in Hyde Park. We started by having a look around the lovely German Christmas Market, before moving on to the fun part with all the ride’s. We purchased some tickets as that is how you had to pay for the rides you went on, the 1st one Munch wanted to go on was this great looking pirate  Ride, can’t tell you what it was like as when we got through the front door Munch decided that he was scared and did not want to do it, we were lucky as they gave us our tickets back, this went on for a few rides, wanting to go on then when getting to them not wanting to. This was what he was like every time we went to one of the theme parks over the summer, I would have to make him get on something, and once he had done one ride, he would be fine, so that’s what we did, made him go on a reindeer ride and then there was no stopping him, we went on a few more, it got dark so was very pretty and was starting to get really busy and we were all getting very cold so decided to call it a day at 5pm.

We headed back to daddy’s taxi, and daddy took us for a drive round London to look at the lights. We went and had dinner at Planet Hollywoods because there was somewhere to park the taxi and had a very ok dinner, nothing special. Munch was very good whilst there, even when his Pizza came and it wasn’t very nice.

On the way home both me and Munch had a bit of a snooze in the back of the taxi. Indoor’s Munch watched TV for a while before supper, then we got a palate and put some carrots for Rudolph and co., a mince-pie for Santa and a glass of milk. We all sat around the table while Munch had supper and had our Christmas Eve Snowball, he was very pleased to be allowed to have one, even though it only had a couple of teaspoon’s of Advocaat in it.

So up to bed, new Christmas Eve PJ’s so he looked smart for Santa, stocking laid out at the end of Munch’s bed, he asked to read his Feelings book, so we did that Before I read him Twas the Night Before Christmas, then huge hug’s and kisses before sleep time, that was at 8.30pm, by 10pm he was still calling down, saying he couldn’t sleep and then saying we were making him not get any presents we were not going to bed so Santa coud come. During the day periodically we had been tracking Santa, so I told him I had looked on the tracker and Santa was still in Poland and had several other country’s to visit first so we had hours, that seemed to calm him and we never heard another peep out of him.

Starting the School Holiday as we Mean to go on!

This morning started well, we were up into party cloths for school and out, no de-icing of the car needed and we were in school on time.

I finished off  my christmas shopping today so just food which I was hoping to do tomorrow morning before Munch finished at Lunch time, but no such luck as got a text from school saying that they are finishing for Christmas holiday’s today because of the weather, I am not looking forward to shopping in Tesco’s with Munch in tow tomorrow.

Picked Munch up, out he came wearing his party hat, he had not even got to he gate before he had opened his present from school. All evening Munch has had an attitude on him, he has tried to be very controlling and I have discussed with hubby that we need to be on top over the next few day’s and routine and consistency are going to be what we have to keep up with. We will not be able to give him any room to try and take control and we need to be on top at all time, using our – not allowed – STEP.

I have had to put him on he step several times today already, and at one point when he started kicking because he had been sent to the step, he was immediately sent to his bedroom, every time he said no, I added a minute, every time  I had to asked him to go up and he didn’t I added a minute he soon got he picture and went, and in fact when his time was up he stayed up in his room playing.

We have laid down a couple of things for the holiday, 1 – that he will be allowed an hour on the computer each day, no more and 2 – he will be expected to spend at least an hour every day playing in his room or else he will be constantly under my feet and I will never get anything done.

We have had a couple of games of Junior Monopoly this evening, thank goodness I know Santa is bringing some different games for Christmas.

Hopefully once we get Christmas and the New Year over and he realises that he is staying put things will get back on track again.

9/12 – Work Christmas Do!!

This morning started well and everything was going smoothly until just before we had to leave, Munch had found a piece of Christmas wrapping paper in the living room this morning from when I had been wrapping presents the previous night he took it up in his bedroom to wrap a present for me very sweet, a bit of the present was my phone, we needed to leave and I asked Munch several times to come down, and he just kept saying he needed to finish wrapping my present, I told him he could finish it when he came home and to come down, he eventually came down got on his coat, all with lots of attitude, I asked him to go and fetch my phone, he went upstairs and there was lots of noisy crocodile crying, screaming that he could not find it, I knew very well that he knew where it was, so up I went and looked under the piece of wrapping paper, not there, I asked him where it was, by now I could see one of his meltdowns coming, he still said that he did not know where it was, and in the way he was creating and the noises he was making, it was into self preservation mode. I spotted my phone under some of his things and picked it up, and that was the action that sent him over the top, he lashed out with his fists he was swearing, I just stay very calm and told him it was not allowed in a very firm voice trying not to shout, I stuck to the 7 minutes on the step and moved him in that direction whilst trying to keep out of arms reach, he did go to the step though whilst still screaming and shouting and using very fowl language by now daddy who had only come in from work a few hours ago came out and started, now I know he was tired and wanted to sleep, but Munch was going to the step and would have calmed, but daddy yelling and shouting that he was not going to take this sort of behaviour did not help it just started Munch on one of his manic laughing session’s with a few F words thrown in. Daddy was told to go to bed in no uncertain term’s, mummy and dog went into the Living room and closed the door and by the end of the 7 minutes Munch was calm. What a contrast from just a few months ago when we were having meltdown’s like this on a daily basis that were lasting for hours on end that was all of 10 minutes and when he was calm again there was none of the aftermath that would drag on and on.

We left for school, we were about 5 minutes late so not so bad, head teacher was seeing in the late children so filled her in and asked her to pass it on to his class teacher just in case there was any repercussion’s.

It was only when I came home and assessed what had happened that morning that I realised what it was all about. I was my works Christmas Do that night and as it was in London I was having to leave fairly early. We always use the web-based Sitters for babysitters and have been very luck to get the same sitter each time, this time though because it was a week night she was unable to do it so we were having a different sitter and I had spoken to Munch about it the night before and I am sure this is what had subconsciously triggered that mornings incident.

It was the Christmas Bazar after school se we went along to that and did all the usual activities there before returning home Munch was very good and amused himself whilst I was getting ready I had brough a microwave ready meal for his tea, figured a one-off would not hurt. Munch wanted me to get him ready for bed before the sitter came and he also wanted to do snuggle time.

Once the sitter turned up Munch was fine and when I was frog marched out of the house by him!!!! I left them playing on the floor with Lego.

I had a great night and it seemed strange me being the one leaving before the end as my 2 very good friends who I work with have always been the ones leaving early as they have to get the children up the next day now their children are much older and either at work or old enough to get themselves up for school. I had not seen a lot of my work colleagues since before I went on Adoption Leave, so had lots of questions and well wishes and I seemed to repeat the same thing’s over and over again to different people.

At home sitter said Munch had been very well-behaved, she said that he had said that he felt sick at one point and would she phone me, but she they would leave it a while to see how he felt later, and he never mentioned it again.

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