Our 1st Proper Family Holiday and Grampy!!

Well we have just returned from our 1st proper family holiday since Munch arrived, we have had weekends away and I have  been away with him but this was our 1st time with the three of us.

Leading up to the holiday we have had some testing times which resulted in a major meltdown a couple of weeks before we went. Munch completely lost the plot and for the 1st time in what must be a year he was extremely violent, he hit kick spat, bit, you name it and he did it and it took us a long time to calm him down, we just had to stay near and try and remain calm!!

The week leading up to the holiday Munch was very excited and counted down the day’s, the night before we left for Florida we stayed in a hotel near the airport and we had a little boy bouncing off the walls with excitement until midnight and we had to threaten to go home if he did not stop!!!

We  had a lovely week in Florida, Munch was hard work at times, he finds it hard to accept anything nice happening so will often rubbish things and try’s very hard to show no emotion, which we find hard as we were doing our best to make sure he was having a good time. As we only went for a week we gave him the choice of either Universal or Disney, he chose Universal because of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, he would never say a ride was good, would mostly say they were boring, but would talk very excitedly about them!!

We had a few day’s at the pool which Munch really enjoyed, he is very sociable so made friends with other children and had a good time playing with them, after a lovely day by the pool though it was almost like he could not accept that he had a nice day and in the evening would do things to disrupt the evening meal, almost like as if he felt that he did not deserve to have had such a nice day.

Since being back we have had a relatively calm time, Grampy came to visit and I was worried about how Munch would react as his behaviour towards my dad has gradually got worse with each visit until the last visit where he was just awful towards him. I need not have worried he has been lovely with him this time, but he has obviously been stressed by his visit as we have had some tell tale signs of stress from Munch.

I have been doing a course since Christmas on Attachment Focused Parenting with our adoption agency and spoke to one of the therapists there about this, with out going into detail we came to the conclusion that it was a link with his past and feeling let down by one of his grandfathers, that said I am so proud of the effort he has made this visit as it must be very hard for him.

On our 2nd adoption front things are ticking along nicely, we have one HS left to do next week and that should finish off our part nicely, the SW then wants to do a couple of visits with Munch, so hoping now that we should be nearing the end.

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SW’s Visit – 17/11

We had a good morning today, I had told Munch the previous evening that his SW was visiting today as it ment that he was unable to stay to film club after school. We had stopped telling him before his SW visited and we normally only tell him now when we pick him up from school when his SW is already here as the first couple of times he visited Munch was awake all night before with pains in his legs. Munch had slept all night so that was good.

We were not only having a visit from Munch’s SW but our SW was coming to as we have our 4th review next week, our SW was coming a bit before so that we could discuss anything we needed to before Munch’s SW arrived. In the mean time we received a phone call from Munch’s school to say that he had really bad nose bleed and what should they do!!!! I explained to them that his was one of Munch’s big trick’s when he is stress about anything, when he was 1st here we used to get up to his bedroom wall looking like a massacure had taken part in his bedroom, he would plaster his walls by his bed in blood, I was a bit annoyed, the fact that we had no leg pains last night, it was his way of showing his stress, person who I was talking to went and spoke to person dealing with Munch and came back and said, no he had not made I bleed himself, to which I said that he is very clever in how he does it,  I have seen him make it pour in front of me on more han one occasions when he has not been able to deal with a situation. They asked me what I wanted to do, he is at school with you what do you want me to do!!!!! Person said that they would speak to the head teacher and phone back, by now Munch’s SW had phoned early to say that he was at the station, so off when daddy to pick him up, our SW then turned up, so not much time to talk to her about anything before the other one turned up, and then the head teacher phoned to say that Munch was looking very pale  so it would be best if we picked him up, this I was not pleased with as giving Munch’s track record I have visions of a nose bleed every time something is happening he is not keen on at school. I told her that I was just waiting for the SW to turn up and we would be there when we could. We took the opportunity to have 10 minutes all together when daddy and SW got back then daddy went and fetched Munch.

Before fetching Munch we managed to talk about his SW applying for more funding for he play therapy and us having our papers ready so that everyone in agreement we can put our papers in to court he very next day, yipee!!!!

Munch and daddy turned up, Munch looked far from pale and put on a great show with his pool table, wanted to wash his nose asap, which they had not been willing to do a school. One very happy to be home child, able to listen to everything that was being said. The good thing that came out of it was that, Munch having been seen by his SW,  off when said SW nice and early, he had booked into a hotel for the night as he always does, so was having a nice early finish.

Sw’s gone, Munch wanted to play with his Lego with daddy, he was very obviously on a Knife edge though after the visit and some of our biggest meltdowns have been post SW visits, he was in one of his contrary moods, and it was obvious that it did not mater what anybody did it was going to be wrong, in the end I just said you are being very rude all the time, it is not allowed, step. He was not happy, banged on the door, made lots of noise for he 1st couple of minutes then just sat on the step. This seemed to regulate him though and he and daddy had a great time with the Lego up until dinner.

After his bath Munch was allowed to have his supper and drink in the living room whilst watching TV for a one-off. Upstairs straight after for story, but Munch, kept interupting and messing around so story book got put away, we then did snuggle time, but when time was up he would not move hen was very hyper and I had to leave the room with hug or kiss, just I good night, I waited for it and a few minutes later got he call fo a hug and a kiss, which I went up and we had. Quiet at last.