Our 1st Proper Family Holiday and Grampy!!

Well we have just returned from our 1st proper family holiday since Munch arrived, we have had weekends away and I have  been away with him but this was our 1st time with the three of us.

Leading up to the holiday we have had some testing times which resulted in a major meltdown a couple of weeks before we went. Munch completely lost the plot and for the 1st time in what must be a year he was extremely violent, he hit kick spat, bit, you name it and he did it and it took us a long time to calm him down, we just had to stay near and try and remain calm!!

The week leading up to the holiday Munch was very excited and counted down the day’s, the night before we left for Florida we stayed in a hotel near the airport and we had a little boy bouncing off the walls with excitement until midnight and we had to threaten to go home if he did not stop!!!

We  had a lovely week in Florida, Munch was hard work at times, he finds it hard to accept anything nice happening so will often rubbish things and try’s very hard to show no emotion, which we find hard as we were doing our best to make sure he was having a good time. As we only went for a week we gave him the choice of either Universal or Disney, he chose Universal because of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, he would never say a ride was good, would mostly say they were boring, but would talk very excitedly about them!!

We had a few day’s at the pool which Munch really enjoyed, he is very sociable so made friends with other children and had a good time playing with them, after a lovely day by the pool though it was almost like he could not accept that he had a nice day and in the evening would do things to disrupt the evening meal, almost like as if he felt that he did not deserve to have had such a nice day.

Since being back we have had a relatively calm time, Grampy came to visit and I was worried about how Munch would react as his behaviour towards my dad has gradually got worse with each visit until the last visit where he was just awful towards him. I need not have worried he has been lovely with him this time, but he has obviously been stressed by his visit as we have had some tell tale signs of stress from Munch.

I have been doing a course since Christmas on Attachment Focused Parenting with our adoption agency and spoke to one of the therapists there about this, with out going into detail we came to the conclusion that it was a link with his past and feeling let down by one of his grandfathers, that said I am so proud of the effort he has made this visit as it must be very hard for him.

On our 2nd adoption front things are ticking along nicely, we have one HS left to do next week and that should finish off our part nicely, the SW then wants to do a couple of visits with Munch, so hoping now that we should be nearing the end.

The Good, the Bad and the Good Again.

Well this morning started off very well, Munch came into our room a little earlier than I would have liked on a Sunday morning, especially after a lovely night last night filled with plenty of Bacardi, but he came in armed with a letter and had written to mummy and daddy I love you from Munch, what could we do after that, so we let him in, he watched Cartoon Network fo a while, then we put on the X Factor that we had recorded from last night, we watched just over half of it but Munch was starting to restless so we all got up.

I cooked a nice big Sunday breakfast of sausage, bacon, eggs black pudding, mushrooms and potato cakes. Munch did well, he ate some of his mushroom’s, egg, bacon and sausage, he tried the potato cake, and the black pudding but did not like them.

He asked to watch the Karate Film again, and went off to the living room to watch, when daddy went him, Munch was very rude and told daddy that he was not watching the film, daddy took offence at this and world war 3 broke out, daddy was shouting, Munch was shouting, which made daddy worse, now Munch has the upper hand and the control hat he wants, so out comes the language calling daddy a f—–g idiot, you f—–r, which enraged daddy even more, I dragged Munch upstairs and put him in his room and closed the door as he was being extremely violent. He was told he was not to leave his bedroom and he could stay there until told otherwise.

I was so angry with hubby, what was the point in all the work we had done with the play therapist, it is one of Munch’s little tricks to try to rile and recreate that chaotic , abusive lifestyle that to him was the norm for so many years of his precious life and hubby had played right into, what happened to our that is rude and not allowed – step.

Hubby went off in a strop with the dog because I told him what I though of him, Munch was upstairs wailing and that’s all it was a big noise and going on and on about wanting to go ice skating as that was what we were supposed to be doing today, but as a consequence of his behaviour was just not happening, I just said no we would not be going today, and he was to say upstairs until further notice.

Hubby came back with a face like a fiddle, I eventually let Munch down, he was acting like an angel and still though he was going to be able to go skating –  NO. He played on the computer for a short while, then engaged daddy in a spy game, by then hubby had stopped sulking, so off upstairs went they and came down with their spy costumes on, they did this for about half hour until Munch was bored with that.

Me and Munch went and made some jelly together to have for afters later, we then had lunch and got out all the paints and arts and craft bits and did some painting and sticking. After Munch had enough we went upstairs and played Junior Monopoly for an hour, Munch really enjoyed this and played it very well, we packed up in time for a nice quiet afternoon in front of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

After all the going’s on of this morning, I did not have the incline or the energy to do a Sunday roast, so am afraid Munch sat down to a Sunday dinner of beans on toast, followed by his orange jelly that he had made today.

Straight in the bath after were Munch played with all his toy mobile character’s as he usually does, he called out to me at one point and when I asked him what he wanted his reply was “love ya” aaaahhhh!!

TV, supper, story read and little man is now tucked up in bed, been a bit of a strange day today, daddy is in work, so lets hope he is in a better mood when he gets in, and tomorrow is another day.