Pinocchio and Telling the Truth

This morning started off with Munch coming downstairs and being cross with the dog because she had knocked the Laptop on the floor, once he had picked it up and put it on to make sure it was still working he sat happily playing with his Club Penguin, computer is not normally allowed in the morning but as it was Play Therapy day and we have a later start I left him to it so I could get on.

Then the Play Therapist arrived Munch was up and on the go at 100 miles an hour, he was dragging the poor dog around by her collar, in and out as we were fetching things in, that was until he trip over her and banged his head on the car, he started to hit and kick the dog, I had to pull him away, this was in the living room with the Play Therapist so I left her to him and went in the kitchen.

I think it was then that what had happened last night and with the incident over the weekend caught up with me and I just sat at the kitchen table and cried, I did get myself together though for when they had finished.

Daddy took Munch off to school and I told the Play Therapist about the 2 incidents, Munch today had wanted all of her play equipment out of her car and she said the thing that he had picked to play with was Pinocchio, and they had done a lot of work around telling the truth and his nose growing and they had between them developed a squeaking technic for when Munch was being untruthful, so we are now on a mission to find the little squeaks that you put inside teddy bears so that when he is being untruthful we can squeak at him, she said we are no to say he is lying, but to say that is not real. She also said to make a note of these things, one so that she can see what they are and 2 for our record, I also said that I though it was a good idea to ring Munch’s SW and she said yes to do that and to tell him that we have some strategies in place.

The next thing that I spoke to her about was the comment that had been made to me at the wedding on Saturday when I was asked if Munch had been diagnosed, and before I could say anything she said, with ADHD, I said about reading about it and Munch displaying practically all of the tell-tale sign’s and she said to make an appointment with our GP and say we want referring to a pediatrician who specialises in this field. Like she said ADHD is often be masked by attachment issues. So an appointment has been booked for Friday with he GP.

We talked about getting Pinocchio on DVD, as we said we must have every other Disney DVD bar that one (we had them all way before Munch came along), and also about getting The Boy Who Cried Wolf to read to him, and some sort of children’s programme called if I remember right Jaker’s, which uses morals for the back drop of it’s stories, I will have to do a bit of research about that online.

Munch was in a good mood when I picked him up from school, I had brought him his own mouse for the computer, something we have been going to do since he arrive last year!!!! Better late than never, so after doing his reading he was pleased to use it.

It was then off to gymnastic’s, then home for tea, get ready for Beaver’s and off there, Tuesday’s are busy nights thank goodness his gymnastic’s is only for 5 weeks.

I did phone Munch’s SW but he is off sick so I phoned our SW and filled her in, I am going to email Munch’s SW as soon as I have finished this.

Munch is now tucked up in bed after another performance to cut his toe nails, why do I get so wound up over toe nails!!! Still done now for another little while.

Another busy Tuesday

Well after Munch went to bed so early and slept at midnight, he came in as happy as Larry saying that he was scared, I took him back to bed he got in and slept till 8am this morning. I had an interesting conversation about this with the Play Therapist this morning, she was saying how emotions are learnt and how he has not learn how to react appropriately to his emotions, i.e being happy when scared, inappropriate laughing just to name a couple.

Anyway up got Munch and our morning went without incident until the Play Therapist arrived, I could hear him being extremely aggressive with her, he was swearing, just being how he has with us over the last couple of weeks. As she said afterwards you cannot just wipe out 5 years of extreme trauma and abuse, and it is going to surface every now and again, that she would be more worried if it did not.

We talked about going back to the basic’s again, re doing all that we did in those 1st 10 week sessions, thing’s like snuggle time that have naturally petered out, back to using sucking as a calming technique, being very firm with our boundaries which is what Munch needs. The trouble is, and we have talked about this before is that when thing’s improve you tend to let down your guard, and you cannot give Munch an inch.

We also talked about his very low self-esteem, about how over the last couple of weeks he has been saying that he is an idiot and hitting himself, I told her how at one point I had just said to Munch that I wasn’t going there today, and that had calmed him a little, she said it was a good way to deal with it as to keep saying, no you’re not ect will just fuel him, and also to use our calming techniques.

Whilst the having his Play Therapy the post arrived along with all our court paper work as the fee has now gone up and the paper work we had received still had the old fee on it!!!! So back to the post office again, with paper work and a cheque for the correct fee this time.

Ok, so Munch has been in 10 minutes, he has already sworn, so had swearing is not allowed – step, for which I got a slap so he is now upstairs in his room where he has been sent for the next 15 minutes. When time was up Munch stayed upstairs playing.

We had tea then off for his 1st gymnastic’s session at school, when we got back from that Munch wanted to play his Xbox game he had been playing earlier, so off upstairs he went until Beavers. Tonight when we got to Beavers he really did not want to go in, he was pushing me and say he didn’t want to go, even when we got in there he was saying please can we go home, which is very unlike him, he always say’s he doesn’t want to go on Beaver’s night as he does with anything because he lack confidence, but normal there is no fuss and as soon as we get to the gate he is off playing with the others. He was fine when I picked him up and had enjoyed himself.

Back indoor’s the bedtime routine went well, I tried to put some fun into it and we had a laugh, then for a reason only known to Munch he put his woggle down the toilet, was extremely babyish around getting undressed and then threw a little hard ball at me which hit me on the neck and hurt, so he lost 1/2 hour off his bedtime tomorrow. A hug and kiss and he is now quiet upstairs.

14/12 – Still Coughing

Munch got up and we had a good morning, Munch kept asking not to go to school which has become a recurring theme at the moment, one he gets there he is fine, makes a change from when he was first here and he could not wait to get to school.

Once home from school we did his reading which he did well, because of being away for the weekend and Munch having been off the day before I had somethings that I wanted to catch up on so sent Munch upstairs to play for a while, I also think it does him good to have to go and play on his own for a while. After having been upstairs for a while he came down with a present for me, he had used the wrapping paper he had taken upstairs a few day’s before and wrapped up one of his empty box’s, he had a post it note on it saying to mum love Reece, how lovely was that!!

As he was a bit under the weather I gave him the choice of whether he went to Beaver’s tonight or not, it is not normally an option, he opted to stay at home and asked to phone his cousin to see if she wanted to go on Club Penguin for a while. I tried phoning several times but the line was always busy, in the end with about 10 minutes to spare Munch asked if it was too late to go to Beaver’s, so ready we got him and off we went. I was really glad he had when we got there as it was the last Beaver’s before Christmas and they were having their Christmas Party, I had though that next week was the last one because Munch is still at school.

When I picked him up he came with his Yule Log they had made, a lovely Christmas cup filled with sweets and a Santa please stop here sign he had made.

Supper and bed when we got in, Munch was still coughing extremely well!!!!

Good Day, But No Carol Service!!

Things went well this morning, Munch was in a good mood, he even told me he had no TV this morning because he had come into our bedroom. We went out in plenty of time fo school, then the dreaded iced up windscreen, I forgot again, so sitting there like lemon’s waiting fo it to defrost, luckily daddy pulled up in his cab and we jump out of the car into daddy’s taxi.

Our SW phoned today to find out how the review had gone, so filled her in a bit on what has been happening, she is going o get on to Munch’s SW an rearrange the review date for ASAP, but realistically not expecting it until the New Year now. I also got round to phoning for Disability Living allowance forms, so we will see if we are entitled to that, as I have had to give up work.

Picked Munch up from school, we came home, did his reading first, he was not in a very cooperative mood, he read slowly, struggled with words that I know he know’s, tried  to miss out whole pages, so I just let him carry on, and wrote in his reading diary how he had done, and read out to him what I had written. After that he got changed had 1/2 on the computer then went upstairs to play until tea time, we had stew, Munch did not want dumplings so I asked if he would like a slice of bread, which he did, he made me laugh because he did not dip the bread into the gravy, he made himself a sandwich with the vegetables from the stew!!

We had 1/2 of Junior Monopoly, we each won 1 game each before getting ready fo the Beaver’s Carol Service, off we went, I had not been able to find the letter telling us where it was, but knew it had said to park in a certain Iceland’s car park because it was near, I though thee would be others attending who would be parking there but the car park was very quiet, we walked around and around, there were no near by churches or hall’s where Beaver’s could be held, we even got in the car and had a drive around, nothing. We eventually gave up and headed home, I felt extremely bad, next time I will make a note of where so that if the letter goes missing I know where thing’s are. On the way home we called into Morrison’s and I let Munch pick something as I had made him miss his Carol Service, I was disappointed too as I was looking forward to our 1st Carol Service together. Munch chose a Lego set.

At home we watched a bit of TV before the bedtime, had a good bedtime routine tonight I did his teeth again and Munch was in bed all nicely tucked up, daddy came home at 9.45 and we heard banging and Munch appeared on the stairs very tearful, I asked him what was a matter he was very sleepy and just leaned on me, I asked if he had a bad dream and he nodded, daddy came and carried Munch back to his bed and he has been fast asleep since.

Snowy Day

So much for telling Munch that he would have no TV in the morning if he came knocking, he came in 1st at 4am, then 7am, then 7.30 am and then again just after very excited because he had looked out of the window and seen all the snow!!! I  am coming to the conclusion that 7.30 is to early for him to go to bed as he is awake well before us every morning so may after christmas extend his bedtime to 8pm and see how we go.

At that I gave up and got up, was looking forward to an extra 15 minutes as it was play therapy day, but it was not to be. Came downstairs and have to say was very naughty and did let Munch have TV as I had a lot that I wanted to do before the PT arrived. Munch watched TV for a very short while whilst eating his breakfast, then got dress up so he could go out in the garden with the dog, he had a great time throwing snowball’s and the dog put on a great show of running round and round the garden  like a mad thing.

PT arrived and went out in the garden for 5 minutes, before they came in and had their session. PT said afterwards that  it had gone very well. We had our usual session afterwards, we talked about all we had done over 10 sessions and just told her about our week. Today was her last of the 10 sessions that Munch’s LA have funded, tomorrow we have a review, hopefully it will not be cancelled due to he snow and Munch’s SW and Reviewing Officer having to travel an extremely long way. The big thing will be getting more funding for PT to continue, but we don’t think it will be in place by next week, so it looks like we are going to have a gap.

Picked Munch up from school, came home, again no reading book, or work diary, will have to have words with his teacher. We did his Mr Men challenge where he had to find something that begins with each letter of the alphabet and write a sentence about them. Munch got on with it, I had 2 phone calls whilst he was doing it and Munch, being Munch did his usual and really rushed, his writing left a lot to desire, he did it in pen rather than pencil so if he made a mistake he could rub it out, I did not make a fuse though as it knocks his self esteem, but tried to get him to slow down a bit and tell me what he wanted to write and I then was able to help him with his spelling’s. It did improve towards the end, but I am not going to push him with home work, as he is as the PT say’s a very strong-willed child, I have found by just giving him encouragement and not pushing, his work diary that they have each week with a topic in has gotten better and better, he spend’s more time doing it, put’s a lot more thought into it, and will often now want to do it, and will ask to.

After that we went out and did some snowballing in the back garden until mummy became to cold, I think Munch would have gone on for ever, we then came in and play Wii Mario Karts until it was time for me to get dinner done. Munch played on the computer.

Once we’d had dinner it was time to go to Beaver’s, I had not realised how much the snow was falling and if I had I proberbly would have kept him at home, but we were all dressed up ready and outside before I did so we ventured down the road. There was only 3 Beavers there so they joined the Cubs, when I picked him up I got my 1st Christmas card from my son. Very big proud mummy moment.

Back home, supper and ready for bed, we don’t do story after Beaver’s because it is a late night and one gorgeous boy, tucked up in bed.

 

First Ever Proper Hug!

We had a bit of a lay in this morning as we did not have such an early start, morning went well, Munch even went upstairs, did teeth and dressed himself on his own, and was very pleased with himself to.

He had a very good session with the play therapist, he chose to make bead necklaces, all of which represented his time here. The PT said that he was like a different child today, he worked well with her, he was able to accept things like praise, we then had our session, which was just a general catch up really. So all in all very good, we did the questionnaire we did before we started play therapy which showed the improvement we have made.

Daddy picked Munch up from school today and I nipped to the shop at the same time, they were back before me and as I walked through the door Munch shouted mummy’s home and threw himself at me and gave me the biggest cuddle, what a break through, things that other families so take for grant, something I have never had in the 10 months Munch has been home, a proper heart-felt hug, I could have cried right then, but I managed not to which is good for me.

Daddy took charge of our home from school routine, and boy could you tell it was a rare thing for daddy to do, Munch decided he wasn’t getting changed, so daddy let him stay in his school cloths, I did not interfere because Munch would have jumped on that immediately, then reading, Munch was like he used to be with me and still does occasionally, mumbling, missing lines out, not knowing easy words, daddy just said finish that page, much to Munch’s puzzlement, daddy then wrote in Munch’s reading diary that he had been uncooperative and not read well, Munch really does not like this, so I am sure next time he is reading with daddy he will remember and read properly.

Daddy took the dog for his evening walk, Munch was going to go on his bike, but at the last-minute decided not to, I was busy doing dinner so Munch sat drawing at the kitchen table, we were talking and Munch decided to speak rudely to me, usual speech and step, MUnch pushed me on the way to the step, so I told him firmly that I would not be pushed and for him to go to his room, he said he would not, I said fine, which I think confused him because he immediately said ok then and off he went. He called down to ask how long he had to stay there, until dinner time said I, could he go in our room asked him, no said I and he stayed up till dinner time.

After dinner Munch and daddy went to the shop’s to get Munch’s crisp’s for film club tomorrow, once back Munch went on the computer until it was time for Beaver’s. Afterwards it was supper and bed yet another lovely hug and goodnight kisses, and a very happy mummy.

Tonight I have been colouring the grey roots!! Munch was talking to me as I was doing it, he asked to sleep in our bed, no was my answer, but mummy said Munch, it would be much better for the environment, he does make me laugh sometimes.

Play Therapy Resumes

This morning started not good, Munch was difiant and deliberately doing things he was asked not to do, he know’s that daddy works until sometimes 3 or 4 am in the morning and he is not to go into our room on school day’s, I noticed him about to go in and asked him not to, 2 seconds later when my back was turned in he went and jumped on daddy, deliberately doing it as hard as he could, I immediately told him that he would have no TV in the evening, then remembered he had Beaver’s this evening so he had no TV anyway, so changed it to the following morning, later when I was getting dressed Munch went to come in the room and I said no daddy is tying to sleep so he deliberately stood out side the door singing in a very load shouting voice. So he was told that he has lost the following day’s TV.

Once downstairs I told him that even though daddy works late we never ask him to be really quiet in the mornings all we ask is that he does not go in and wake daddy up and that he does not deliberately shout at he bedroom door. Munch decided that he was not going to listen and kept trying to walk off so I gave him his 7 minutes time out. As soon as it was over he decided to push me so back for another 7 minutes time out.

In the middle of this time out the Play Therapist turned up, so she set up in the living room whilst Munch finished his time out. Munch joined her in the living room and they did their thing, I was in the kitchen and I could hear him being rude and aggressive with her like he is with us, and do you know what, I was actually glad because she was seeing it first hand.

When they had finished Munch normally has a little packet of sweets to take to school which he eats whilst daddy is driving him there, this morning I said no, as he had not behaved very well this morning. He said I have been good with PT’s, to which she never said a word, so I just said I don’t think so and off he went with daddy. Daddy said that he was quiet all the way to school which is unlike him so he knew he had over stepped the mark.

We had a good talk with the PT, I always make notes. I spoke about how over the few weeks since she had not been here he had become very rude and aggressive in the way that he talks to us, al of which she said tha he had been doing with her during their session. She said that it is his way of trying to bring back the very chaotic and extremely abusive world that he lived in for over 5 years of his life back, it is what he is used to and in a strange way how he feels safest, that we need to teach him a new way of living, she said that when he speaks to us aggressively or is name calling, or demanding, that from now on we have to say very firmly, you are being rude with your voice, that is not allowed, step, and straight onto the step for his 7 minutes. If he is aggressive as in pushing, hitting kicking, spitting making fists at people, going to kick, we have to say very firmly your body behaviour is wrong, it is not allowed, step, and 7 minutes on the step.

Whilst we were doing our 7 minutes this morning obviously she had been able to observe what we were doing, Munch tends to try to engage you in talking and say’s things to get a reaction, he also calls the dog and play’s with her, what the PT said is to sit him on he step, and that we are not to talk to him at all until his time is up, she said to take ourselves and the dog into the living room and shut the door, if he bang’s on it to ignore him, we have glass panel’s in the door, which I was worried about, as hubby said if, the panels go through, so what, make it safe ignore him until time is up. The PT also said that we need to take back control and show him we are in charge, if we are out anywhere if he does any of these behaviour we are just to come straight home, like she said sometimes it is us as the adoptive parents who suffer, eg could be at an event, party ect that we really want to be at but we have to stick to our guns and leave and straight on to the step for 7 minutes once home.

We also talked about one of the things that Munch does and that is to blame us for doing things, eg on Saturday night when daddy took him aside to talk to him Munch started to saying that daddy had sworn at him, he has said that we have banged his head on he wall when he has banged it, that I have picked him up and thrown him on the floor, always when he is in one of his shake periods, but these are just a few examples of hings he will say. The PT said that we need to stop nip this in he bud or else at some point down the line we are going to end up looking at Child Protection issues. So what she has told us to do is we have suspended Munch’s star chart for the time being and we now have a When Munch Blames chart, we have to make it very clear to him that it is a terrible thing to blamed, and that is what we have to say to him, under the title it has the 2 words voice and body, if he says that somebody has done something with their voice ie swear, we put 1v on he chart, if he says someone does some thing with their body ie hit we write 1b on the chart, it is a way of showing him what he is doing, us away of seeing how often he does this, and when he does it we have to say it is a terrible thing to blame someone for doing…. and step again. On the bottom of the chart we have written What Happen’s : STEP, so that he know’s.

Anyway I picked Munch up from school, whilst walking to the car told him what was happening this evening, and that included, siting at the table and talking through our Blame Chart, and rude voice and body behaviour being wrong and what the consequence of these action’s was going to be.

At home Munch changed, did his reading, then for the big talk, whilst talking about his Blame Chart, he said like the time you punched me in the face and my tooth fell out!!!!, straight away, blame is a terrible thing, step. I will just add at this point I did anciently knock his tooth out in the playground, it was a very wobbly tooth that was about to come out and I was pretending to steal a kiss. 7 minutes up one 1b added o the chart and on with our talk we continued, whilst telling him about the rude with his voice and that included telling people to shut up or making zip actions across his mouth, he made a zip it action across his mouth, that is being rude with your voice, that is not allowed step, another 7 minutes!!! After that we managed to finish our talk.

We then went o do Munch’s special time play, which is all about him taking control, this is good as it gives him his time to have control, giving him this in theory is supposed to lessen their need for control at other times, not what given our talk I would have chosen to do but this had been decided the day before so that is what  did. Munch wanted to play Connect 4 which he played well, for a while then started to get very whinny and nothing was right and twisting things, it was near the end of our time so I just said that if he was no playing properly I was going to do the dinner, to which I got shouted out, que you are being rude with your voice, that is not allowed, step, me and dog in living room again. When time was up I came out to do the dinner and asked Munch to go and play, to which he started to push me, que your body behaviour is all wrong, that is not allowed, step. Me and dog back in the living room, this time he came into the livingroom laughing, I replaced him back on the step and stood up against the door, Munch was banging constantly on the door but I ignored it till time was up. As soon as I came out of the living room he started to hit me, que usual spiel, you must have it by now and back on step, this time he banged on the door a little while then gave up and sat until his time was up.

Whilst doing the dinner, I asked Munch to play in the living room or his bedroom which he did for a while then came into the kitchen, I said I was not prepared for him to be playing around in he kitchen whilst I was preparing dinner if he wanted to stay he needed to get a one of his colouring books to do on the table to which he did and sat and talked pleasantly, he ate dinner nicely, then off to Beaver’s

Once home supper and bedtime went without incident.

Previous Older Entries